A Perfect Start

Ever have one of those mornings that propels the rest of your day into a blissful spin?

I woke up super early, said my prayers, studied my scriptures, and then sprinted out the door to go jogging with my wonderful friend, Heidi.  I love running with her.  We always find something to share with each other that leaves us both feeling edified and refreshed.  This morning Heidi brought up the subject of sanctification.  We talked about ridding ourselves of the world and I tied in some of my thoughts about Kenosis, "self emptying."  We discussed other examples of this principle: and decided that fasting is a form of "self-emptying."  We also "empty ourselves" during physical exercise, we sweat, exhale, and expend great energy to reach a goal.  It was a cool discussion.

At the end of our run, I was able to bask for a few minutes in the most beautiful rays of sunshine.  I think that light must have stuck right to my core because everywhere I went for the rest of the day, my face was beaming.  At the grocery store, each person I made eye contact with would look up at me and smile. At first, I couldn't figure out why everyone was so happy.  Then I realized... oh... they're smiling back.  ;)

Yeah, it was a great morning. And thanks to that...  my whole day was awesome!

You Give and Take Away

"Blessed Be Your Name"

Blessed Be Your Name

In the land that is plentiful 

Where Your streams of abundance flow

Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name

When I'm found in the desert place

Though I walk through the wilderness

Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out 

I'll turn back to praise

When the darkness closes in, Lord

Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your name

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name

When the sun's shining down on me

When the world's 'all as it should be'

Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name

On the road marked with suffering 

Though there's pain in the offering 

Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out 

I'll turn back to praise

When the darkness closes in, Lord

Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your name

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away

You give and take away

My heart will choose to say

Lord, blessed be Your name

by, Tree63
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2HYuQiruOio

Start Out Walking and Learn to Run

I have 23 unfinished posts just sitting on my draft board.  So many thoughts and yet I struggle sometimes to organize them comprehensively.   I'm running out of time to write as I get back into the saddle of school again.  Since I started last Monday with my first homework assignment, it has been a race against the clock to fit it all in along with trying to make sure things are picked up around the house, meals are made, the kids get to appointments, I help them with school and play with them a bit.  I just hope I'm giving my children enough of me especially when I feel spread so thin.  I have very little sleep.  I'm pretty tired but I'm not complaining... This is an exciting time in my life.

My little Micah turns 10 tomorrow (I guess today, It's past midnight here) and Miriam is already 12. Those two can entertain one another for hours with their ingenious creations and whimsical stories.  I often think to myself if anything were to ever happen like a financial crisis and we lost everything we owned, those kids would be perfectly happy entertaining one another with sticks, rocks, dirt, and a little water for some mud.  Miriam has always loved to play in mud.  I hope they never lose that sense of contentment, it will serve them well throughout their life.

It's amazing how fast they are growing up.  I watch the home movies of my children when they were babies and I miss their tiny voices and disconnected sentences.  I miss falling asleep with their warm little infant bodies snuggled on my chest, the weight of them pressing into me and filling all the voids within my heart.

I suppose I'm still a new mom.  More experienced mothers would say to me, "Oh just you wait.  You think time has gone by fast now, it goes even faster." I don't doubt it, I believe them.  Days are hours, weeks are days, months are weeks, and years are months.  It's strange.  Our time on this earth really is so short.

I wonder if we will watch old home movies of our lives here when we are in heaven?  I think I'd like that.  I wonder if I'd play back all the scenes that made me laugh until my stomach hurt. Which events would be my favorite?  What would I see as most important and would it be what I value now?  Would I fast-forward through the hardest parts or would I slow them down to see how they were the very tools that were carving and shaping the beautiful?

Life is interesting.  I'm so thankful for it.  I feel so blessed.  I have a good life, a very good life, far greater than I could ever deserve.  Sometimes, I feel like shouting "hallelujah" for all I have!  And even when this life is over, it's only the beginning.

Well, it's late.  I should get some sleep.... an imperative I often forget I need. But before I do... I might just plug in my head phones and listen to one of my old-time favorites before I rest my head.

We've only just begun to live
White lace and promises
A kiss for luck and we're on our way
(We've only begun)

Before the risin' sun, we fly
So many roads to choose
We'll start out walkin' and learn to run
And yes, we've just begun

Sharing horizons that are new to us
Watching the signs along the way
Talkin' it over, just the two of us
Workin' together day to day
Together

And when the evening comes, we smile
So much of life ahead
We'll find a place where there's room to grow
And yes, we've just begun

Sharing horizons that are new to us
Watching the signs along the way
Talkin' it over, just the two of us
Workin' together day to day
Together
Together

And when the evening comes, we smile
So much of life ahead
We'll find a place where there's room to grow
And yes, we've just begun

-  The Carpenters

More Than a Feeling

It was like I had my own little theme song playing for me as I walked on to BYU's campus for the first time as an official student:

"I woke up this morning and the sun was gone,
Turned on some music to start my day
I lost myself in a familiar song
I closed my eyes and I slipped away
It's more than a feeling, when I hear that old song they used to play (more than a feeling)
I begin dreaming (more than a feeling)"

 How often I have prayed for this opportunity and I'm living in it now!  No one around me realizes how long I've dreamed of this day.  To them, I'm just another student with headphones, walking to class with a cheesy grin on my face.  But for me I'm having a party inside as I'm living "the dream" and reminiscing this old Boston beat I used to play every day in college.

So much more than a feeling!  I felt like I was on cloud nine, and I still feel like It can't be happening.

I'm taking two classes, a religion one and anthropology.  I must say that anthropology is the perfect follow-up from having my experiences at the United Nations in March.  I desire greater understanding of my brothers and sisters around the world and in my own little circle.  It's amazing how we can understand ourselves so much more when we truly seek to understand others.  I have so much to learn, so very much.  In this class, I've already had to read almost 100 pages and trying to absorb everything has been a challenge to say the least.  I feel like that person trying to follow pop tart instructions and the vertical concept is thrown at them. "Uhhh uhh... poof!" My brain explodes!

This will be fun though, I'm excited to learn, to expand, and grow.  I can already see how this will be physically exhausting.  But one foot in front of the other and lots of prayers... I'm on my way.

"Don't Look Back"
by, Boston

Don't look back
A new day is breakin'
It's been too long since I felt this way
I don't mind where I get taken
The road is callin'
Today is the day

I can see
It took so long to realize
I'm much too strong
Not to comprimise
Now I see what I am is holding me down
I'll turn it around

I finally see the dawn arrivin'
I see beyond the road I'm drivin'
Far away and left behind

It's a new horizon and I'm awakin' now
Oh I see myself in a brand new way
The sun is shinin'
the clouds are breakin'
'Canse I can't lose now, there's no game to play

I can tell
There's no more time left to criticize
I've seen what I could not recognize
Everthing in my life was leading me on
but I can be strong

I finally see the dawn arrivin'
I see beyond the road I'm drivin'
Far away and left behind

-Alicia

Grateful for Grace

I'll be the first to admit I am among the weakest of the weak.  I don't say this to belittle myself, I just say it as a fact... the Lord knows it.  I love this series of books I've been reading by David A. Bednar.  He speaks a lot about the enabling power of Grace.  I have a testimony of God's love and grace for me.  I am even grateful that I have weaknesses, that I have difficult times, and desperate pleas that bring me to my knees.  It is in these moments I dig deeper into my faith, I depend more on my Savior, and strive harder to anchor my heart to Him.  He has never failed me, never left my side, He is my truest Friend.

"I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things; yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise his name forever." - Alma 26:12

Feeling Grace

"Warm rays of sunlight stream down upon me and dance across my face.

Darkness is dispelled as the morning breaks.

I breathe in the crisp refreshing air that follows a summer rain.

I smile.

I breathe deep again.
I feel blessed, I feel free.

I am home.

A new day has arrived,

I am rested and renewed.

Hope is alive,

It pulses through my veins.

There is nothing I fear,
I am safe here.

And it's only the beginning..."

By, Alicia Rawlins 2009

Your Grace Finds Me

It’s there in the newborn cry

There in the light of every sunrise

There in the shadows of this life

Your great grace

It’s there on the mountain top

There in the everyday and the mundane

There in the sorrow and the dancing

Your great grace

Oh such grace

It’s there on a wedding day

There in the weeping by the graveside

There in the very breath we breathe

Your great grace

The same for the rich and poor

The same for the saint and for the sinner

Enough for this whole wide world

Your great grace

Oh such grace

There in the darkest night of the soul

There in the sweetest songs of victory

Your grace finds me

Yes your grace finds me

So I’m breathing in Your grace

And breathing out Your praise

I’m breathing in Your grace

Forever I’ll be

Breathing in Your grace

And breathing out Your praise

Your grace finds me

Yes Your grace finds me

by, Matt Redman

-Alicia

Spiritual Awareness

I just finished reading the story of Alma and his bretheren. As I reflect back on these chapters I think of  Alma 17:2-3. I love the description of what united these friends in the Lord so deeply, "they had waxed strong in the knowledge of the truth; for they were men of a sound understanding and they had searched the scriptures diligently, that they might know the word of God.  But this is not all; they had given themselves to much prayer, and fasting; therefore they had the spirit of prophecy, and the spirit of revelation, and when they taught, they taught with power and authority of God."

1. They came to know truth and also understood it.  This implies they received it with both mind and heart.

2. They searched the scriptures diligently.  This includes the scripture that we call the "words of the living prophets".  D&C 68:4

3. They gave themselves to much fasting and much prayer.  Sincere prayer and fasting causes one to wax stronger and stronger in their humility and firmer and firmer in the faith of Christ  - Heleman 3:35

I believe these three steps were so interwoven into the hearts of these young men that they didn't have to remind themselves to do any of them.  Doing such was not a duty but a privilege, it was their sincere desire and they delighted in it!  Such habits and attitudes among them created a strong "spiritual awareness."  Regularly applying these things enabled them to have the spirit of revelation, to perceive and foresee that which is unseen by the natural man. And when they taught, it was more than words because "they taught with power and authority of God."

In the various roles I play in life, mother, sister, wife, friend, teacher, student, etc. many things clamor for my time and attention.  It can be difficult to find balance or to know exactly where best to spend my energy.  I tell my children that my love is never divided among them, only multiplied.  But because we live in a sphere governed by minutes and hours, my time is divided among them.... So I pray for wisdom in how I use it.

I don't always know from day to day how I'm going to accomplish everything that requires my time and attention.  I just know that if I stick to these three basic things that Alma and his friends did, the Spirit will give me an awareness of that which matters most.  And usually those things which matters most are NOT the things that obtrusively ring in my ear.  Rather it is the quiet whisper that says, "Stop what you are doing for five minutes Alicia and just attentively listen to your child."  It's that nudge that says, "Walk to your next appointment instead of drive this time."  Or maybe the Spirit says "put down all your dinner preparations and greet your husband when he arrives home from work, just hug him for three or four uninterrupted minutes."

I really think in today's complicated world we underestimate "the small and simple things."  I don't know if it's balance we need so much of, as if God expects us to juggle everything thrown at us like circus performers.  I believe it's wisdom we need more of, more spiritual awareness to guide us to those things that matter most.  Ezra Taft Benson taught this wonderful truth, “When we put God first, all other things fall into their proper place or drop out of our lives. Our love of the Lord will govern the claims for our affection, the demands on our time, the interests we pursue, and the order of our priorities.”

"Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved." - Thomas S. Monson

- Alicia

My Prayer

My Prayer 

Fill my mind with virtue, 

Keep it free from sin. 

Fill my heart with love unfeigned, 

Root out bitterness within. 

May my lips be seared 

From any unkind word, 

Let Thy Spirit guide my tongue 

So angels can be heard. 

Keep me from complaint, 

From ever wanting more. 

Help me see all that I have 

And all that lies in store. 

Open up my ears to hear 

Thy will for me this day. 

Seal my wandering heart to Thee 

And never let me stray. 

Bless my hands with power 

To lift those hanging down. 

Fill my soul with Thy light, 

Make my smile turn their frown. 

Keep my feet upon the path 

That leads me straight to Thee. 

Let me walk with confidence, 

Trusting all I cannot see. 

Strip me from my foolish pride, 

From all desire for praise. 

Help me bring souls unto Christ 

Give Him glory all my days.

By, Alicia Rawlins

2011

When the Bee Stings

"When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad, I simply remember my favorite things, and then I don't feel so bad." - Sound of Music -Favorite Things

Only a few days ago, I mentioned how many of my friends have felt the buffetings of the adversary in their homes as they've prepared to leave on this trip.  I said how grateful I was that I haven't felt that, at least not in my relationships.

However, these last couple of days, I think I realize that I too have been buffeted more than usual.  Thoughts of inadequacy and inferiority have slowly been trickling in until finally I'm over my head in pool of counterproductive thinking...from how I parent, how I keep house, how I communicate with my teenager, how I look, how I dress, how unrefined, uncultured, and unlearned I feel... You name it, the adversary has thrown just about every fast-ball at me possible in this self-defeating arena... And it stings!

Still whirling from the punches this morning, I got up and brushed myself off.  It was time for me to bring out some of my favorite things!

I began my morning with prayer and scriptures, I searched in the Young Women's lessons for this month and found "Grace" as one of the topics and studied that.  Perfect timing!  I dove back through the pages of my Henry Drummond book re-read the chapter Pax Vobiscum (Peace to You) all about burdens and rest.  I even did a little "What About Bob" style of self-affirmation, "I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful." (Just kidding, I didn't do that but I thought about the scene.)

And then...

...I turned up the beat to my favorite fast songs and danced my way through the tasks of the morning.  Ahhh, what a refreshing breath of relief.  I feel better already.  :)

-Alicia

"Rejoice Evermore"

I love experiences where you pour your whole soul and heart out in prayer and then go to the scriptures and find words that speak directly to you.  Yesterday in family scripture study, both my husband and I took a few minutes to bear testimony of this principle.

I treasure my sacred moments with the Lord, where I can pray out loud and hold nothing back from Him.  He hears me and He knows everything in my heart.

I'm almost finished with "Increase in Learning" the first book of a three part series by, David A. Bednar.  If there is one thing I desire more to learn than anything else, it is to have a greater measure of the Spirit in my life.  I want eyes to see clearly and to be able to discern between truth and error every minute of every day.  It's easy for me to pray about but harder to apply.  I am thankful that I have a merciful Heavenly Father who is patient with me in my weakness.

After some pretty soulful prayers yesterday, I opened my book by Elder Bednar and saw he had listed several scriptures in the context of his writing.  I took a few minutes to look up each scripture and through that process came across some that I truly needed to hear!

"Fear not [Alicia], let your heart be comforted; yea, rejoice evermore, and in everything give thanks;  Waiting patiently on the Lord, for your prayers have entered into the ears of the Lord of Sabaoth, and are recorded with this seal and testament - the Lord hath sworn and decreed that they shall be granted.  Therefore, He giveth this promise unto you, with an immutable covenant that they shall be fulfilled; and all things wherewith you have been afflicted [or will be afflicted] shall work together for your good, and to my name's glory, saith the Lord"  - D&C 98:1-3

Then in cross-reference, I read these scriptures:

"Blessed be the Lord, because He hath heard the voice of my supplications.  The Lord is my strength and my shield: my heart trusted in Him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise Him." - Psalms 28:6-7

"Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait I say on the Lord." - Psalms 27:14

I resolve today to rejoice and give thanks in all things. I truly have SO MUCH to be thankful for.  What a wonderful, wonderful life I have right here and NOW.  I am so richly blessed!   I know my prayers are heard.  I trust that "[My] God doth undertake to guide [my] future as he has [my] past. [My] hope, [my] confidence let nothing shake; all now mysterious shall be bright at last." - Be Still My Soul 

I want to focus on the present moments and not let the little opportunities I have with my husband and my children to pass me by.  And with each moment I'm given here and now, I want to make the kinds of choices that better prepare me for what lies ahead, even though I can't see what that means for me.  Ultimately, I am preparing to meet my Savior when He returns to earth or when I leave this life - I want to be ready, I want to live by the Spirit and have my lamp full and trimmed, adorned for Him by the choices I've made and all I've treasured in my heart upon this journey.

-Alicia

"Everything we hope to accomplish in the future, how we prepare for the responsibilities that will ultimately be ours, is really a function of what we do today. Though some things about the future will always seem uncertain, the future is not entirely a mystery. To a great extent the future is shaped by the accumulation of all our daily activities and disciplined efforts." - Craig C. Christensen
"Tomorrow is Today"

I want patience, and I want it now!

I'm in Mosiah 23 in my personal studies.  I came across this verse yesterday,
"...the Lord seeth fit to chasten [you, Alicia]; yea, He trieth [your] patience and [your] faith."

Yep, that's exactly how I read it, with my own name in there and everything.  As I did so, another scripture came into my mind in a personal way,

"For [you, Alicia] have need of patience, that after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise."

I feel like saying, "I know, Lord, I know.  I am terribly impatient!  So how about imparting that gift of patience to me right now eh?!  ;) "

I came into this world seven weeks before I was due, so I guess you could say I was born impatient.
I was the little girl who on family vacations would need my parents to pull off to the side of the road every 20 minutes so I could pee.
 I'm the girl who took piano from age 6 to 12 and have nothing to show for it because I  didn't have the patience to keep practicing. (I remember spending more time hanging upside-down on the piano bench with my feet on the keys, staring out at the living room, imagining myself walking on the ceiling).
When I was seven, I couldn't contain emotions around my childhood crush any longer, I tackled him, pinned his arms to the ground and planted a ginormous kiss on his face (then I ran and hid).
When I was sixteen, I pulled into a Chevron with a car full of my drama friends, I was so excited to go to the cast party with everyone that I forgot to put the nozzle back on the pump, drove away, and ripped it clean off the hose. (My friends still haven't let me live that down.  You should have seen the clerks face when I handed him the nozzle. Priceless!!)
And I can't even begin to list all the books I've read only half-way through because I was too impatient to finish them.
The one that takes the cake though is that it took exactly 16 weeks for me to marry my husband.  Yep, exactly 16 weeks from the very first date (blind date) to the day of our wedding.  (And anyone who knows my husband will know that making fast decisions, especially in regards to really big decisions, are NOT in his nature.)

Yes, I'm in desperate need of patience.  *Sigh*

The words from my favorite talk by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland rings in my ears:

"It is simply a truism that nothing very valuable can come without significant sacrifice and effort and patience on our part....

Troilus, whose impatient love for Cressida makes him something of a basket case, teaches us a valuable lesson. 
“He that will have a cake out of the wheat must tarry the grinding,” Pandarus says to Troilus. 
“Have I not tarried?” Troilus pouts.

Pandarus: Ay, the grinding; but you must tarry the bolting.

Troilus: Have I not tarried?

Pandarus: Ay, the bolting; but you must tarry the leavening.

Troilus: Still have I tarried?

Pandarus: Ay, to the leavening; but here’s yet . . . the kneading, the making of the cake, the heating of the oven, and the baking; nay, you must stay the cooling too, or you may chance to burn your lips.

[Troilus and Cressida, act 1, scene 1, lines 14ff]

The baking of life’s best cakes takes time. Don’t despair of tarrying and trying. And don’t “burn your lips” with impatience."  - Jeffery R. Holland - (However Long and Hard the Road)

It is true, the best things take time.  I can pray for patience but the Lord cannot give it to me.  Patience is not something to be given but to be grown.  However, He can give me experiences that will help me cultivate this wonderful virtue.  I'll admit that some of the experiences He gives are extremely painful.  It makes sense though," no pain / no gain." A blessing I've discovered is that the Lord can enable me to feel grateful in the present moments, the waiting isn't so hard and time goes by so much faster when "I'm anxiously engaged in [the best] causes."

Elder Neal A. Maxwell explained in a powerful talk "Endure It Well",
"Paul observed, “Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness.” (Heb. 12:11.) Such “peaceable fruit” comes only in the appointed season thereof, after the blossoms and the buds.

Otherwise, if certain mortal experiences were cut short, it would be like pulling up a flower to see how the roots are doing. Put another way, too many anxious openings of the oven door, and the cake falls instead of rising. Moreover, enforced change usually does not last, while productive enduring can ingrain permanent change. (See Alma 32:13–16.)

Patient endurance is to be distinguished from merely being “acted upon.” Endurance is more than pacing up and down within the cell of our circumstance; it is not only acceptance of the things allotted to us, it is to “act for ourselves” by magnifying what is allotted to us. (See Alma 29:3, 6.)"

We must always remember that we are in the process of becoming something so much more.  We must make a strong effort to "give thanks in all things" and avoid becoming bitter when the road is long. We press ahead, and we do so with songs of praise every step of the way.

"Therefore, true enduring represents not merely the passage of time, but the passage of the soul—and not merely from A to B, but sometimes all the way from A to Z. To endure in faith and doeth God’s will. (See D&C 63:20; D&C 101:35) therefore involves much more than putting up with a circumstance." - Neal A. Maxwell

I believe that circumstances don't determine our happiness rather the truly happy make a conscious decision to choose happiness regardless of their circumstances.  And I believe the key to this is enduring faith and gratitude.  I don't know what the future holds, but I know Who holds the future.

I am truly thankful for all the Lord gives me so that I may grow patience.  I know the fruit born of it will be that of the sweetest kind and it will be well worth the wait. Isaiah 40:31

-Alicia

Wonder of Wonders Miracle of Miracles

I keep thinking about miracles lately.  I think about how they are happening all the time, and can be found in literally everything around us, if we just have eyes to see, ears to hear, and hearts to understand.

I suppose it's "Flashback Friday" for me this morning, because I decided to take a stroll down memory lane through my old blog and read the things I posted under "miracles".

It was fun to read some things I wrote when we first moved to Provo.  It's interesting to see then where I thought we would be now.  We never did end up moving out of State.  We're still here... but I'm not complaining.  Now, I honestly never want to leave this place...
Besides, somehow I can't help but think that our staying is part of another much bigger miracle.

http://artofchristianity.blogspot.com/search/label/miracles

-Alicia

So Grateful for Prayer

I can't think of any other time of day that I value and treasure more than the moments I have to kneel down before my Maker, to vocalize everything that is in my heart, to thank Him, to praise Him, to seek His counsel, His wisdom, His guidance, His direction, His forgiveness, and feel His love and peace.  God is as real to me as I am alive.  He is my Rock and my Fortress and I know He lives.

I love this Gospel and how we are taught to pray.  Personal prayer is never rote.  It is our "soul's sincere desire".  Every time I hear Elder Richard G. Scott speak about prayer, I feel like saying, "Exactly, my brother, exactly!"  His pattern of praying is truly the Lord's way.  I have experienced it for myself,  it works, it really does!

Using the Supernal Gift of Prayer
Learning to Recognize Answers to Prayer
The Power of a Strong Testimony
Trust in the Lord
How to Obtain Revelation and Inspiration for Your Personal Life

Recently, I've been praying for the Lord to open my eyes and help me to feel sincere gratitude for the smallest things and to help me see all the good that surrounds me.  I've been praying for the Lord to help me embrace the here and now and the moments I am given from minute to minute.   I'm so thankful prayers are answered because I have truly felt enabled with that power.  I feel like shouting hallelujah! I am so richly blessed!

-Alicia

Accentuate the Positive

Speaking of focusing on the good...  This song is an absolute classic in my eyes!  It has been a favorite of mine to sing around the house before I ever had children.  You'd think my kids would be used to it by now but they always roll their eyes at me when I belt out into song.  Regardless of their attempt to show me their irritation, they can't hide their smile.  Deep down, they love it.

"Nothing like a little Andrew Sisters to start the day," I always say!

Be Thou My Vision

I believe there are pivotal stages and transitional ages, as we grow into maturity: Birth (0), the age of accountability (8), the age of adolescence (12), and the transition into adulthood (18).

As a mother, it is absolutely fascinating for me to watch my children move through different phases of their lives.  In an effort to capture these moments and help my children hold them sacred, I write each of them a special letter at each stage.  I do so to help them have a vision for who they are and the gifts they have been given.  I call these letters their "Mother's Blessing".

The year my oldest turned eight, my husband and I discussed that we not only wanted a vision for each of our children at these stages but a vision for our family as a whole.  We decided to write a mission statement of who we are and what it means to be a part of the Rawlins Team.  We refer to our family as a team a lot to help our children understand the importance of unity. We want them to understand that we work with and for each other, not against or in isolation.  We want our children to steer clear of competition among themselves and instead establish the habit of cheering for each teammate.  This is why the first line of our mission statement is, "We are a family of sincere listeners who champion each other."

I've been thinking of another line in our mission statement lately. "We choose to find the good in others and in ourselves, remembering always 'The worth of souls is great in the sight of God.'"

What does it mean to find the good?  Does it seem like a simple task?  Sometimes our vision gets cloudy and it is hard to see others with an eye of optimism and we fall into the destructive trap of nagging cynicism.  Now, there are times, especially as parents where it is absolutely essential we give correction or where something may need to be said to a spouse.  These things have to be done delicately and always in the spirit of love and prayer.  I've had plenty of moments in my life where I've had to apologize immediately for my poor way of correcting.

I firmly believe though that we will ultimately find what we look for.  If we look for faults in others, we will find them.  If we look for strengths and beauty, we will find them.  It is our choice!  "We choose to find the good..."

President Gordon B. Hinckley has said, "My plea is that we stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight.  I am suggesting that as we go through life, we 'accentuate the positive.' I am asking that we look a little deeper for the good, that we still our voices of insult and sarcasm, that we more generouly compliment and endorse virtue and effort."

Whenever I read this quote, I can't help but think of the story in John where Jesus heals the blind man.  Perhaps it is because with my mortal limitations and my weaknesses, I don't always see the good.  I become blinded by my pride, I become too focused on myself, or what I deserve.  In these moments I pray, "Dear Father, please open my eyes, heal me of my blindness, help me to see what I am not seeing.  Give me a new heart, a fresh vision outside of myself.  Please give me eyes to see.  Help me to focus on the good."

This Sunday in our church choir we are singing the old Irish hymn, "Be Thou My Vision".  We will only be singing verses 1, 2, and 5.  I wish we could find an arrangement for verses 3 & 4 too because I love all the words to this entire hymn.


This song is my prayer!  It articulates the deepest desires of my heart.

"Be Thou My Vision"

1.  Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

2.  Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

5.  High King of Heaven, my victory won,
May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.

...............

3.  Be Thou my battle Shield, Sword for the fight;
Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;
Thou my soul’s Shelter, Thou my high Tower:
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.

4.  Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

.............

-Alicia

Come What May

"I used to complain that I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet."  This is an old Indian Proverb that I love to repeat in my mind whenever I start to focus on what is missing in my life.

There is always someone who has struggles far worse than my own.  I have discovered, the greatest cure for sorrow in my heart is to look for someone who is in a worse situation and help them.  In doing so, I am able to forget about myself.  And oh, how I need to forget about myself more! I came into this world with nothing, so the smallest things are truly blessings and gifts that I am undeserving of.  Besides, I have my Savior, I have His true Gospel... with this alone. I hold a treasure far beyond any price and I am deeply humbled to thank my Father in Heaven all my days for it.

The following are quotes from a man who truly understood what gratitude was because he lived it to the fullest.  I love Elder Wirthlin!  He inspires me to be more humble and to gratefully receive whatever the Lord sees fit to allot unto me.

...................

"Come What May, and Love It:" 

Address Given by Elder Wirthlin at October 2008 General Conference

"Over the years I have learned a few things that have helped me through times of testing and trial. I would like to share them with you."

Learn to Laugh

"The next time you’re tempted to groan, you might try to laugh instead. It will extend your life and make the lives of all those around you more enjoyable."

Seek for the Eternal

"Because Jesus Christ suffered greatly, He understands our suffering. He understands our grief. We experience hard things so that we too may have increased compassion and understanding for others....Sometimes the very moments that seem to overcome us with suffering are those that will ultimately suffer us to overcome."

The Principle of Compensation

"The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude."

Trust in the Father and the Son

"He who descended below all things will come to our aid. He will comfort and uphold us. He will strengthen us in our weakness and fortify us in our distress. He will make weak things become strong... The simple secret is this: put your trust in the Lord, do your best, then leave the rest to Him"

"Come What May, and Love It:" Address Given by Elder Wirthlin at October 2008 General Conference

"Learn" and "Rest"

It must have been sometime in August of last year:  I was sitting in Sacrament Meeting and Brother Mann was speaking when I heard him read this quote;

"Instead of allowing yourself to be unhappy, just let your love grow as God wants it to grow. Seek goodness in others. Love more persons more -- love them more impersonally, more unselfishly, without thought of return. The return, never fear, will take care of itself."  

The words "without thought of return" struck me. In my scriptures at that time I had been focusing on overcoming pride and selfishness and this quote was in direct line with my studies.  "I've got to write this down!” I thought to myself.  I tried to remember who he said the author was and scribbled on a notepad "Henry Garamound."  

After the meeting, I rushed over to Brother Mann and inquired, "How do you spell the last name of that author you quoted from… was it G-a-r-a-m....?" 

"No", he said, “It’s Drummond.  Henry Drummond.”

"Sweet! I've never heard of him before.  I'm going to look him up, thanks!"

This led me to discover what is now one of my most favorite books, “The Greatest Thing in the World and Other Addresses” by, Henry Drummond.  It is really a short compilation of sermons, a very quick read, but packed full with truths of gold!

I sat in the back of a crowded chapel yesterday afternoon watching the funeral services for the father of my good friend.  Earlier that morning I had just read this scripture in Enos; 

"I soon go to the place of my rest, which is with my Redeemer; for I know that in him I shall rest. And I rejoice in the day when my mortal shall put on immortality, and shall stand before him; then shall I see his face with pleasure, and he will say unto me: Come unto me, ye blessed, there is a place prepared for you in the mansions of my Father."

I pondered this verse as I watched my friend lay his father to rest. That word "Rest",  What does it mean?  I thought about it in my personal life and my mind recalled the beautiful sermon Henry Drummond gave on “Rest”. 

He expounds upon the scripture, “Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls."

Brother Drummond points out that the key to "rest" is to "learn".  And how do we most often learn things?  It is usually over a process of time, through much effort, and a lot of practice.  He says, "How novel a connection between these two words "learn" and "rest". How few of us have ever associated them -ever thought that rest was a thing to be learned.... What must one work at?  What is that which if duly learned will find the soul of man in rest?  Christ answers without the least hesitation.  He specifies two things - Meekness and Lowliness."

He goes on...

"What are the chief causes of unrest? ...Pride, Selfishness, Ambition.  As you look back upon the past years of your life, is it not true that its unhappiness has chiefly come from the succession of personal mortifications and almost trivial disappointments... it is the petty friction of our every-day life with one another, the jar of business or of work, the discord of the domestic circle, the collapse of our ambition, the crossing of our will or the taking down of our conceit, which make inward peace impossible.  Wounded vanity, then, disappointed hopes, unsatisfied selfishness - these are the old, vulgar, universal sources of man's unrest."

So, if rest is found when we learn to be humble and meek like the Savior.... 
And restlessness or unrest is most commonly a result of pride, selfishness, and conceit...
Then to truly have peace, to be calm and rest in the Lord, we must die.  I'm not speaking physically, although the righteous do find rest in Him through mortal death.  But spiritually speaking -"the natural man" inside of us must die- our will, how we want our story to unfold, our vanity, and our selfish desires must die. When we meekly and humbly let these things go, our eyes will be opened and we'll comprehend them for what they really are: shackles and fetters that chain us down to the mire of anxiousness and misery.

How much do we trust God, I mean really trust Him?  Can we let go of our stories, the things we  think we need to be happy in this life?  Or do we insist on frantically perusing things we can't control or paths that the Lord has counseled us time and time again not to take?  He knows our hearts.  He knows what is best for us.  We can be assured with a heavenly calm and inner peace when we practice and learn His life, seek every day to follow in His way, humbly and sincerely. It will all work out in the end. His promises are sure. Pray always and be believing. Give thanks in everything and be anxious about nothing. D&C 90:24, Ephesians 5:20,Philippians 4:6

"Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don't come 'till heaven; but for those who embrace the Gospel of Jesus Christ, they come." - Jeffery R. Holland

-Alicia