This past Sunday, I had something I was making which required the help of the other young women leaders and the girls. As a result, I had the opportunity of spending the late afternoon and evening going into several homes and visiting with many wonderful sisters.
One of the leaders I visited with has a darling blond-haired 8-yr-old daughter, Lily. She answered the door and cheerfully invited me in. While Lily called for her mom, she excitedly told me how she was in the middle of writing a story. I could see the computer screen and a paragraph of words already typed. I responded with how wonderful it was to see someone as young as her already so passionate about something.
My friend, Heidi, walked in and said, "Lily's excited because her dad is writing a screen play."
"Yeah!" Lily's face lit up and asked, "You wanna see it?"
"Sure, I'd love too!" I said.
She scurried out of the room and skipped back with a thick stack of pages bound together with a couple of office clips.
Heidi invited me to sit down.
"Wow. this is evidence of a lot of hard work," I said, holding the stack of papers.
I asked Heidi, "Do you enjoy writing too?"
"Yes," she said, "I actually blogged for a long time, especially when we were living in New York. I discovered a company that publishes blogs into books." She pulled out a couple of thick heavy books off her shelf and showed them to me.
"How awesome is that!" I said, turning through the pages. "What a treasure!"
I told her how I blogged for several years and then quit. But I started up again this year.
"Really?" She said with interest, "What do you blog about?"
"Things from my heart, meaningful experiences, and testimony," I replied.
"Oh, soulful writing!" she said, "That's my favorite kind!"
"Soulful writing?" I asked. "I really like the sound of that. It's a good description." I told her as I continued flipping through her book.
"You're going back to school, correct?" she inquired. "What are you going into?"
"Communications" I said. "I asked the counselor which degree I would need to get if I want to go into writing and public speaking and that's the one he suggested."
"That's excellent! What a perfect fit for you!" She said encouragingly. "You know something, I've been thinking of you and just told my husband the other day how you intrigue me and how I want to know your story."
I laughed in disbelief, "Serious? My story?"
"Yes," she said, sincerely.
Well, what was supposed to be a short 3-min visit turned into us talking back and forth and sharing testimony for over an hour. She gave me a list of some awesome resources and told me that I reminded her of her mom. I've met her mom before and was humbled by such a comparison. "Well, maybe someday I will be like that," I said. We concluded that our conversations could go on for hours more and that we needed to just hang out together sometime. It was a wonderful visit!
I kept thinking about the words, "soulful writing." I really like the sound of that. My mother-in-law taught English for 20 years and is an author. She's published a couple of books and has written for the Friend Magazine on a number of occasions. (She goes by her maiden name when she writes.) I would call her style, "fictional writing." My daughter loves to write fictional stories too and I could easily see her being a published author someday. I'm not a fictional writer and I don't know if I've ever imagined myself publishing anything. But I really like the sound of being a "soulful writer." There's something that satisfies me when I can find the perfect words to express what's in my heart... it helps me to heal. In fact, the title page of my old blog was called,
"That Which Heals Me"
My earliest recollection of writing for healing was when I was 9 years old; I had a pet tree frog named Kermie. I loved how he fit perfectly in my palm and I carried him everywhere. I could feel his wet little body snug between my fingers and felt confident he wouldn't get away. One day, I ran across the lawn to my friend and didn't bother checking to see if my pet remained in my hand because I could still feel his cool little belly. I looked down after a minute and to my horror realized he was gone! I frantically searched everywhere in the green grass for him but the color of the blades matched that of my frog exactly.... it was no use. I was terribly upset, I loved that little frog so much! I ran in the house crying and locked myself in the bathroom. I sobbed uncontrollably for nearly an hour. I left the locked room for only a minute to grab some lined paper and a pencil. With tear drops blurring the ink of blue-printed lines, I began to write my very first poem:
Frogs
By, Alicia Manwill - age 9
Frogs are cute, frogs are green,
Frogs will jump on anything.
I had one once, but now he's gone.
He's probly somewhere on the lawn,
Or maybe somewhere in the leaves,
Or maybe somewhere in the trees,
Oh, will someone find him please!
It was true "soulful writing," complete with tear stains on the paper and everything. I can't help but laugh out-loud every time I think of this poem now. Even as I type it here, I am laughing. But as ridiculous as it is, it came from my 9-year-old heart, and somehow it helped me heal.
It's the same for me today... I don't expect people to read the things I write, I just do it when I have a lot on my heart and need a place to put my words. I like using a blog because I feel that I write with a little more effort knowing there's a possibility of an audience. Having someone listen inspires creativity and that's true for everyone.
I'll continue to write from my soul, even if no one is listening... because it heals me. But maybe, just maybe, in the process, it might help heal someone else too.
-Alicia
