Kénōsis

 I just learned in my religion class that in Christian theology, kenosis (κένωσις, ekénōsen) is  the Greek word for emptiness. It means the 'self-emptying' of one's own will in order to become entirely receptive to God's divine will.

Philippians 2:7 (KJV) says that Christ, "made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men."

In the American Standard Version it says: He "emptied himself, taking the form of a servant, being made in the likeness of men"

Christian's have long debated over Jesus's process of Kenosis.  What did it mean for Christ to "empty Himself"?  Did it mean he temporarily let go of who He was to take upon the form of man? Did it mean when  He "descended from the throne" He somehow descended in His godhood?  Of course not.  He understood His true identity and place as rightful King on earth and in heaven. His godhood and power never left Him spiritually but He gave up being recognized as such physically.

In fact, during the pinnacle crux of all human history, where His greatest "emptying" took place, is also where we see manifested the greatest and most magnificent power!!  In the Garden of Gethsemane He was emptied as He bled from every pore. (D&C 19:18) And on the cross blood and water "flowed from His side" (John 19:34)

Isaiah 53:12 also speaks of the Savior's emptying saying,"He [Christ] poured out His soul".  The highest majesty ever known was reveled through the most intense humility.

Psalms 36:9 describes Christ as "the fountain of life."  Living water "pouring out" in a constant steady flow.

Luke 8:43-48 tells another story of Christ's emptying:
"A woman having an issue of blood twelve years, which had spent all her living upon physicians, neither could be healed of any, came behind him, and touched the border of his garment: and immediately her issue of blood stanched.
And Jesus said, Who touched me?
When all denied, Peter and they that were with him said, Master, the multitude throng thee and press thee, and sayest thou, Who touched me?
And Jesus said, Somebody hath touched me: for I perceive that virtue is gone out of me."

Virtue had emptied out of Him.
"Virtue" here contextually means "strength."  He may have felt physically weak in that moment but He was certainly not weak in the spiritual sense.  He was "emptied" as in the context of Isaiah's illustration. The woman exercised such tremendous faith in Christ that when she reached to Him through the pressing crowd, He literally felt His body go weak from the "pouring out of His soul" to her and she was healed.

As the Savior emptied Himself, we too must empty ourselves.

Matt 16:25 teaches that when we "lose our self" we'll find ourselves.  This does not mean we lose our identity in the slightest.  In fact, as we choose to draw closer to Christ, we see our TRUE self, our Divine nature more and more defined, more clear than ever before.  What we DO lose however is the false identity, the labels and the lies the world would have us believe.

To "lose ourselves" we, like Him, must "pour out our souls".  Here, we show that He is the very center of our life, that we want Him more than anything else. As He prayed, we also pray, "Not my will but thine be done." (Luke 22:42)

In "emptying" ourselves of our own will, we "pour out" our souls, making room for Him to enter in.  This is the "whole tithe." We lay it all on the altar and say, "take it all, I surrender."  In return, He opens the windows of heaven, whether through temporal or spiritual needs, revelation, or guidance. The promise is heaven will be opened and poured out!

The New International Version of Malachi says it this way
"Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it." - Malachi 3:10

I love the imagery of "floodgates!"

He will "pour out" to us as we "pour out" Him.

Think of the results that come when we open ourselves up to Him in prayer:  We pour out all our strength - He gives us His strength, pour out all our hearts - He gives us His heart, pour out all our thoughts - He gives us His thoughts.  Fully and completely submissive and receptive, we open our self up to Him, we let Him in our heart and soul, receiving Him, becoming one with Him as He became one with the Father.

"In striving for ultimate submission, our wills constitute all we really have to give God anyway. The usual gifts and their derivatives we give to Him could be stamped justifiably “Return to Sender,” with a capital S. Even when God receives this one gift in return, the fully faithful will receive “all that [He] hath” (D&C 84:38). What an exchange rate!" - Neal A. Maxwell - Consecrate Thy Performance

I testify that Christ is the "fountain of Life", His love and power is ever flowing over.  He wants to "pour it into us."  But we must first go through our own kenosis, our own 'self-emptying' in order to be open to receive Him, all of Him.
-Alicia

To Know God

"More Of You"

by, Colton Dixon

I made my castle tall

I built up every wall

This is my kingdom and it needs to fall

I want you and no one else

Empty me of myself

Until the only thing that's left is

More of You

Less of me

Make me who I'm meant to be

You're all I want all I need

You're everything

Take it all I surrender

Be my king

God I choose

More of You and Less of me

I need more of you

More of you

This life I hold so close

Oh, God I let it go

I refuse to gain the world and lose my soul

So take it all I abandon everything I am

You can have it

The only thing I need is

More of You

Less of me

Make me who I'm meant to be

You're all I want all I need

You're everything

Take it all I surrender

Be my king

God I choose

More of You and Less of me

I need more of you

More of you

All to You

I surrender

All to You my blessed Savior

I surrender all

Beautiful Heartache

I truly believe that through Christ "I can do all things."  I was given a blessing when I was 16 where I was told that I would "be tested" in this life, that I would have some heartaches and would need the comforting influence of the scriptures, the teachings of Christ and of God, [my] Eternal Father, to strengthen [me] that [I] may pass through these trials as Job did, with flying colors and with comfort."

So many times I have read those words, "you will have some heartaches" and have assumed they would come in the form of a difficult home environment, accidents, or illness... you know, "trials!"  For some reason I've always associated "heartache" to be the kind of pain one would never wish for, the kind one would want removed from from their life.  I never imagined anything that could hurt so bad would be something I'd actually pray to keep.

Job was tested in ways I cannot even begin to comprehend. Nevertheless, he did not sacrifice his integrity.  I love that word "integrity!"  It is another way of saying Job remained true no matter the circumstance, no matter the cost and always praised the name of the Lord.

This blessing given to me in my teenage years promises that in such tests "[I] will conquest them and [I] will not sacrifice [my] integrity".  I seek to make certain that is fulfilled.

 Job endured countless "heartaches" the pain of which I cannot comprehend.  But look at what incredible faith it produced!  Ultimately, that is what I want... faith like Job!  The Lord was His ultimate source for strength and through Him he was able to "endure all things" without sinning or charging God foolishly. -  Job 1:22

 The promises given to me have held true. "The influence of the scriptures, the teachings of Christ and of God" truly have brought me comfort in such trials!!  I testify of their unfailing power. They have brought me solace and peace in all of my heartaches... including the ones I like to call "beautiful."

- Alicia 

.................

Every fear, every doubt, all the pain I went through
Was the price that I paid to see this view
Now that I'm here I would never trade
The grace that I feel and the faith that I find
Through the bittersweet tears and the sleepless nights
I used to pray He'd take it all away
But instead it became
A beautiful heartbreak

I never dreamed my heart would make it
And I thought about turning around
But Heaven has shown me miracles
I never would have seen from the ground
Now I take the rain with the sunshine
Cause there's one thing that I know
He picks up the pieces
Along each broken road

- Beautiful Heartbreak by, Hilary Weeks 

Alma 7:11  -  He Knows!

“No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God … and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire”  - Elder Orson F. Whitney

Please don't run away!

As young women leaders in my church we have felt impressed to speak to the girls about the law of chastity.  It's a delicate subject to address, mainly because of misunderstanding the "why" of the law and "what" to do if it is broken.

I think my biggest anxiety in lessons like these are for those youth who have been raised in the gospel, taught their whole life what to avoid, what to do and not to do, and who have at one time or another found themselves in a vulnerable situation and gave in.  How difficult must it be for them to hear the seriousness of breaking the law of chastity?  Do they feel like a lost cause, that there is no more hope for them?  Do they feel that they've ruined the story of their life?  Do such lessons make them want to hide, to disappear from spiritual things, from the presence of God, or from those who speak in His name?  I certainly hope not.  I hope and pray in those situations that those youth have had firm foundational teachings in Christ, His redemption, and power to make things right again, to make them completely whole, as if it NEVER happened.

When Adam partook of the forbidden fruit he was ashamed and hid himself.  He desperately tried to cover his own nakedness by retreating into the darkness where he "couldn't be seen" by others or himself.  He ran away from the light which so painfully reminded him of the choice he had made.  How many of God's precious children do the same?  I have witnessed this for myself among people I love very dearly.  When they mess up, they give up.  They feel they've lost their worth.  But it's not true, they are still worth more than gold.  If they could only see.  I want to run and call after them, "Please don't go, all is not lost, there is hope... please whatever you do, don't disappear!"

That's essentially what our Father in Heaven did for Adam and Eve.  He called after them, He forgave them, and provided clothing for them so they didn't have to be ashamed of their nakedness anymore, so they could come out freely into the light and out of hiding.  The atonement of Jesus Christ not only clothes our nakedness but prepares us for the finest clothing.  He wants to adorn us like a bride for her groom.  I feel such reverence for this sacred truth! He pleads for us to "come unto Him."

Christ is all about healing, He's all about hope... He is all about love.

I cherish the following scriptures:

"And it came to pass, when he was in a certain city, behold a man full of leprosy: who seeing Jesus fell on his face, and besought him, saying, Lord, if thou wilt, thou canst make me clean.
And he put forth his hand, and touched him, saying, I will: be thou clean. And immediately the leprosy departed from him." - Luke 5:12-13

"And my soul hungered; and I kneeled down before my Maker, and I cried unto him in mighty prayer and supplication for mine own soul; and all the day long did I cry unto him; yea, and when the night came I did still raise my voice high that it reached the heavens.
And there came a voice unto me, saying: Enos, thy sins are forgiven thee, and thou shalt be blessed.
And I, Enos, knew that God could not lie; wherefore, my guilt was swept away.
And I said: Lord, how is it done?" - Enos 1:4-7

"When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?
 She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more." - John 8:10-11

This is the character of Christ.  I don't comprehend how it is all done.  But I know that there is nothing I could ever say or do that He can't fix. I know there is nothing  that would end His love for me... which makes me adore and reverence Him even more. He has provided a way back, a way for healing, and for wholeness.

I pray for the youth.  I hope they understand this.  I hope they understand their great and infinite worth.  If they have messed up, I pray they won't hide.  And I hope the only running they do is in the direction of the Savior.

Because of Him, we can start brand new... this is the first day of the rest of our lives.  Do we believe it?  Do we believe it not just for ourselves but for all of our brothers and sisters?  I do.  With all my heart, I do.

-Alicia

Learning CharACTer

When working through difficulties or particular challenges, how often have we heard the phrase, "This will be good for you, it builds character."

What is character?

It is the sum of the soul.  It is the qualities and attributes that make up one's personality, who they truly are. It is character that determines destiny, NOT appearances, prestige, popularity, or circumstance.  

How is character reveled within each of us?  Martin Luther King taught, "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."  

In Lectures on Faith, Joseph Smith described that one of the three things "necessary in order that any rational and intelligent being may exercise faith in [the Father and Son] unto life and salvation is a correct idea of [Their] character, perfections, and attributes:" (page 33)

How do we gain a correct idea of the character of Christ?  We observe and study His life and His teachings... but there's more to learning than just studying, it must also be by faith. - D&C 109:7

"Faith is a principle of action... Faith in Jesus Christ is the first principle of the gospel and is more than belief, since true faith always moves its possessor to some kind of physical and mental action."

 -Bible Dictionary 

There's an old saying that you never truly understand a person until you've walked a mile in their shoes.  In order to understand the character of Christ, we must "walk a mile" in His shoes, we must try to be like Him in whatever circumstances.  Learning to walk in the footsteps of the Savior doesn't happen overnight.  The Lord is patient with us just as a father is patient with his children when they attempt to take their first steps.  Every time they stumble, he encourages them to keep trying and his heart is overjoyed with every success.  It requires constant effort and God is proud of all who are sincerely and genuinely doing their best.   

Learning the character of Christ requires acting out what we learn.  And in order to "act" out what we have learned from our great Teacher, we must be given circumstances that test us and try us.  Because of this knowledge, I am grateful for the challenges that confront me.  Challenges are opportunities for me to exercise my agency, to practice in faith/action what I have learned by study.  

Learning the CharACTer of Christ comes from acting as He would act, from practicing over and over what He would do.   

I am genuinely grateful for a loving Father in Heaven who is incredibly patient with me.  He doesn't scorn me when I stumble but sees it as a "good fall" because he sees my heart, He sees I'm trying.  The faith He places in me stirs within my soul a greater love and admiration for His character, I have a greater desire to become as He is.  So I'll keep learning, keep practicing, keep trying, and through His amazing grace, I won't just walk, I'll run!

"Live your life to be a good example of what you believe—in word and deed. How we live our religion is far more important than what we may say about our religion.

Our Savior’s Second Coming is drawing nearer. Let us not delay in this great cause. Remember Captain Moroni, who hoisted the title of liberty inscribed with the words “In memory of our God, our religion, and freedom, and our peace, our wives, and our children.”  Let us remember the people’s response: exercising their agency, they “came running together” with a covenant to act.

My beloved brothers and sisters, don’t walk! Run! Run to receive the blessings of agency by following the Holy Ghost and exercising the freedoms God has given us to do His will." 

- Elder Robert D. Hales

(Also see - The transforming Power of Faith and Character by, Richard G. Scott)

One thing I really love about this video is it's not just a loving father who encourages but also loving brothers and sisters.  How thankful I am for my brothers and sisters in the Gospel who cheer and inspire me every step of the way. Oh how I love them!

-Alicia

Grateful for Grace

I'll be the first to admit I am among the weakest of the weak.  I don't say this to belittle myself, I just say it as a fact... the Lord knows it.  I love this series of books I've been reading by David A. Bednar.  He speaks a lot about the enabling power of Grace.  I have a testimony of God's love and grace for me.  I am even grateful that I have weaknesses, that I have difficult times, and desperate pleas that bring me to my knees.  It is in these moments I dig deeper into my faith, I depend more on my Savior, and strive harder to anchor my heart to Him.  He has never failed me, never left my side, He is my truest Friend.

"I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things; yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise his name forever." - Alma 26:12

Feeling Grace

"Warm rays of sunlight stream down upon me and dance across my face.

Darkness is dispelled as the morning breaks.

I breathe in the crisp refreshing air that follows a summer rain.

I smile.

I breathe deep again.
I feel blessed, I feel free.

I am home.

A new day has arrived,

I am rested and renewed.

Hope is alive,

It pulses through my veins.

There is nothing I fear,
I am safe here.

And it's only the beginning..."

By, Alicia Rawlins 2009

Your Grace Finds Me

It’s there in the newborn cry

There in the light of every sunrise

There in the shadows of this life

Your great grace

It’s there on the mountain top

There in the everyday and the mundane

There in the sorrow and the dancing

Your great grace

Oh such grace

It’s there on a wedding day

There in the weeping by the graveside

There in the very breath we breathe

Your great grace

The same for the rich and poor

The same for the saint and for the sinner

Enough for this whole wide world

Your great grace

Oh such grace

There in the darkest night of the soul

There in the sweetest songs of victory

Your grace finds me

Yes your grace finds me

So I’m breathing in Your grace

And breathing out Your praise

I’m breathing in Your grace

Forever I’ll be

Breathing in Your grace

And breathing out Your praise

Your grace finds me

Yes Your grace finds me

by, Matt Redman

-Alicia

Self-Esteem vrs Christ-Esteem

Have you ever been around a person who struggles to rejoice in the successes of others, a person wherewith they often envy instead of encourage, resent instead of regard?  They feed themselves with the falsehood that when they praise or build another, their worth somehow diminishes in the process.  The irony of this malady is that in most cases their lack of esteem for others is more a reflection of an unhealthy esteem for themselves.  Whether this unhealthy esteem stems from lack of confidence or overconfidence, it doesn't really matter, they both create a vacuum.  Either extreme, conceit or cowardliness, both are self-centered and both come from the "fear of man".  And where there is fear there can be no real love because "perfect love casteth out all fear".

During a particular exciting moment in my life, a time when I had achieved a goal I never thought I could attain, a close friend of mine confessed to me, "I want to be happy for you Alicia but I'm sorry, I can't... I just can't. I hope you understand."  This friend of mine struggles with depression and I understood.  "It's alright", I answered.  "I know you want to be happy for me.  I'm sure it's depression speaking."  It must be hard for a person to rejoice in the accomplishments of others when they don't feel accomplished themselves or to believe in others when they don't believe in themselves.

Even so, it was still painful to hear and the temptation to grow bitter stung my heart.  I had supported my friend tirelessly though countless numbers of their goals and achievements.  I praised and cheered for them all along their way and yet at that moment, I felt absolutely no support in return.

I suppose I could have responded back that I "deserve" better.  But I have learned that when I get caught up in all that "I deserve" I too become trapped in the vacuum of self.  In truth, I don't "deserve" anything!  I came into this world with absolutely nothing, so the smallest things are blessings, even the tiniest bits of encouragement.

Gratefully, I don't suffer with clinical depression.  Of course, I've had "down days" but the concept of feeling no hope or a numbness to Divine love is completely foreign to me.  So, I cannot judge fairly nor do I understand fully the struggle with apathy my friend endures.  However, the Savior comprehends all things.  He can bless me with the compassion that I seek.

I admit that I am terribly far from perfect.  I don't esteem myself as anyone great or praiseworthy.  In fact, I'm pretty ordinary, if you ask me... but that's the beauty of it.  That's what makes me love my Savior even more, the fact that He loves flawed and ordinary me.
"I marvel that he would descend from his throne divine
To rescue a soul so rebellious and proud as mine,
That he should extend his great love unto such as I,
Sufficient to own, to redeem, and to justify.
Oh, it is wonderful that he should care for me
Enough to die for me!
Oh, it is wonderful, wonderful to me!"

I appreciated the question Elder Ringwood of the Seventy posed this last conference,
"In our pursuit of me and mine, Have we forgotten Thee and Thine?"

I believe what we need more of is Christ-esteem not self-esteem, more Christ-confidence not self-confidence.  You see, the problem with the equation is the focus on "self".  Christ teaches that when we lose ourselves, for His sake, we will find ourselves.  When Christ becomes the center of our focus, then and only then are we released from this implosive vacuum.

"Instead of allowing yourself to be unhappy, just let your love grow as God wants it to grow. Seek goodness in others. Love more persons more -- love them more impersonally, more unselfishly, without thought of return. The return, never fear, will take care of itself."

- Henry Drummond

- Alicia

The Need To Breathe

 It is said that a dispassionate young man approached the Greek philosopher and casually said, "O great Socrates, I come to you for knowledge."

The philosopher took the young man down to the sea, waded in with him, and then dunked him under the water for thirty seconds.

When he let the young man up for air, Socrates asked him to repeat what he wanted. "Knowledge, O great one," he sputtered.

Socrates put him under the water again, only this time a little longer.

After repeated dunkings and responses, the philosopher asked, "What do you want?" The young man finally gasped, "Air. I want air!"

"Good," answered Socrates. "Now, when you want knowledge as much as you wanted air, you shall have it.

.................

I must have been about 18 or 19 when I discovered the song, "Masterpiece" by, Julie De Azevedo.  I fell in love with the lyrics because they expressed so perfectly the feelings I had in my own heart.  I listened to it so much that I could have sung it in my sleep.  This song is my soul's most sincere desire. I want to know my Father in Heaven's will for me, I want it written on my heart.  I want to become who He would have me become!!  I need this like I need to breathe.

- Alicia

.................

Masterpiece

Simple clay in a potter's hand, an empty page and an author's pen,
An artist's brush to a canvas white, and a work of art comes to life.
Marble raw, but the sculptor sees, the masterpiece that lies beneath.
Though rough and marred the Master's touch, will change this life, into his work of love.
So everyday I pray...

He'll write His will upon my heart, Mold my soul to His design,
Adding color depth and light, And polishing until I shine shine shine!
Oh my heart is in His hands, He's painting the life He'd have me lead.
Through refining floods and flames, He's smoothing edges and the seams,
And in time time time, Oh this simple life will be ....
A Masterpiece

Snowy peaks, water-color skys, His works of beauty fill my eyes
But He sees nothing more beautiful than a heart submissive to His will

I want to know His will!

So everyday I pray...
He'll write His will upon my heart, Mold my soul to His design,
Adding color depth and light, And polishing until I shine shine shine!
Oh my heart is in His hands, He's painting the life He'd have me lead.
Through refining floods and flames, He's smoothing edges and the seams,
And in time time time, Oh this simple life will be ....
A Masterpiece
My Master's Masterpiece

- Julie De Azevedo

Transitional Characters

Marco is a very bright young University student from Mexico. He was raised by a single mom and admitted the difficulties he has been through without a father in his life.  We sat by each other at a United Families International event last week.  The presenter spoke about fathers and how important they are in society as a whole.  As Marco heard the definition of a "transitional character",  he leaned over to me and said, "That's what I want to be."
I smiled and responded, "It looks like you are becoming one already."

"A transitional character is one who, in a single generation, changes the entire course of a linage.  The individuals who grow up in an abusive, emotionally destructive environment and who somehow find a way to metabolize the poison and refuse to pass it on to their children.  They break the mold.  They refute the observation that abused children become abusive parents, that the children of alcoholics become alcoholic adults... Their contribution to humanity is to filter the destructiveness out of their own linage so that the generations downstream will have a supportive foundation upon which to build productive lives." (Broderick, 1988, p. 14)

Now Marco is not a member of my faith and there are somethings I wish I could have told him more about to be a tool for him in his life as he desires to be this "transitional character", to be a good father and good husband someday.  But in my trip to the United Nations, we weren't supposed to proselyte, so all the more I wanted to say I couldn't.  I wished I could have given him a "For the Strength of Youth" pamphlet and directed him to the chapters, Entertainment & Media and Sexual Purity.  I sometimes wonder how often these things are taught in other religions.  It's so vital!  He will need to understand these things if he wants to be a good husband and father.

A few nights ago I drove a young 16-yr. old girl home from a youth activity.  We talked for nearly an hour as she described to me her broken life and how completely exhausting it is to be pulled and torn between the arguments of her separated parents and used like their pawn.  They haven't learned to communicate decently, let alone effectively.  Like 3-yr. olds they are constantly dragging her in as a third party to be the other's advocate.  Both parents are very toxic.  I encouraged her to be brave, that in the situations that do not involve her she must learn to repeat, "I'm sorry but this is not my issue, this is yours.  You need to work this out between each other.  I have to stay out of it."

Then I asked her a question, "Do you believe you can learn from your parents poor behavior."
"I can learn what NOT to do" she said.
"Very good! That's exactly right," I agreed.  "You can be a transitional character, a chain-breaker.  You can refuse to be a part of the statistics and say in your mind, 'all of this ends with me.  I'm not passing this down to my children!' Next time your parents fight and scream at each other, I want you to pay close attention to the kinds of words they use, the tone of voice, and those things that seem to escalate the arguments.  Write them down if you have to and tell yourself, 'I'm going to practice the exact opposite of these things.'  Refuse to be pulled into their childish bickering. It's not right and it's not fair to you."

I encouraged her to call me if she needed a friend to talk to, any time, day or night. Ultimately though, I testified that the most important Person to call upon is our Father in Heaven.  I testified to her of prayer and how it has gotten me through so many dark days.  My life growing up wasn't near as difficult as hers is but there were many times during my teenage years where I felt frustrated, heartbroken and completely alone. I wanted so desperately to feel security in my own home but instead everything felt raw and vulnerable, as if something could shatter at any given moment.  I learned to cry to my Father in Heaven, to pour out my soul to Him and lay out every piece and fragment of my heart.  He answered my prayers.  He showed me LOVE and in a miraculous way His love seemed to fill all the voids, the gaping wounds, the fractures, and holes in my soul.  I became a new person through Christ.  He changed me, He transitioned my character! He became my Father and I found in Him, I could do all things.  I told my young friend that she is not meant to carry this weight alone and encouraged her to make the choice daily to turn to her Eternal Father and she would have everything she could possibly need through life.

"Know then that every soul is free,
To choose his life and what he'll be"
- Hymn 240

- Alicia

2015 - 20th Anniversary

This is the year we celebrate the 20th anniversary of The Proclamation to the World about the family.  Interestingly, it is also the year that the UN celebrates the 20th anniversary of the Beijing Platform.

The first document to the world describes our Divine identity as women, and the beautiful role we play in our families. The second document sees motherhood in a negative light and seeks to dismantle our role in the family.

"In the preliminary document for the Beijing +5 Conference in 2000, one of the stated obstacles to human rights (translation: abortion on demand and same-sex marriage) was the "...persistence of traditional and stereotypical attitudes."
   In the section on Woman and the Media, there was language stating opposition to the 'negative images of women; and stereotyped portrayals;' (translation: mothers).  The women at this conference were urged to target journalists and media specialists, media associations, educational and training institutions to promote balanced and non-stereotyped portrayals of women." - Susan Roylance (Mothers & Fathers Defending Marriage and Family in the Halls of the U.N.)

Simply stated in "UN Beijing platform language" - "motherhood" and "traditional family" are bad words and damaging stereotypes and must be done away.

"In the gathering storm over defending marriage, the weather-vane pointing to our future is oscillating wildly.  Our destiny as a society will depend on whether we can protect our most fundamental social institution: marriage and the family.  As citizens of a democratic republic, we need not be at the mercy of judicial winds.  We can control our destiny!" - Richard G. Wilkins (Author of 'A Sacred Duty')

So how do we defend our most fundamental institution? The answer is simple.  We start in our own homes.  We seek to do all we can to strengthen our marriage and our relationships with our children, to build our home on a foundation of faith and trust in God. We embrace the complimentary unique and different roles of husband and wife. We always work with and for each other and never against. We strive to practice patience, kind words that build and uplift, habits that nurture and invite the Spirit.  We must be vigilant in safeguarding and monitoring closely the amount and content of media diet being fed to our minds and our family.  Wise mothers and fathers do not allow the rivers of filthy water to flow through the airwaves of their home.  They constantly ask themselves, "what is being taught" and "how is it being received".  Wise mothers and fathers seek the Spirit of the Lord in all they do through constant daily prayer and scripture study.

The Prophet Joseph Smith appeared to Brigham Young in a vision and said, "Tell the people to be humble and faithful and sure to keep the Spirit of the Lord and it will lead them right. Be careful and not turn away the small still voice; it will teach [you what] to do and where to go; it will yield the fruits of the kingdom. Tell the brethren [and sisters] to keep their hearts open to conviction so that when the Holy Ghost comes to them, their hearts will be ready to receive it. They can tell the Spirit of the Lord from all other spirits. It will whisper peace and joy to their souls, and it will take malice, hatred, envying, strife, and all evil from their hearts; and their whole desire will be to do good, bring forth righteousness, and build up the kingdom of God. Tell the brethren [and sisters] if they will follow the Spirit of the Lord they will go right."

Malachi teaches about turning our hearts to our fathers and the most important Father we should turn to is our Heavenly One.  We are His children and His heart has been turned to us from the very beginning.  He loves us with an immeasurable and powerful love!  "We love Him because He first loved us." As we rightfully make Him first in our lives, everything else will fall into its proper place.  I know this. I trust this with my whole soul!

The Family Proclamation declares this irrefutable truth, "Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities."

The solutions of the world are not found in the works of the flesh, in the intellects, the philosophers, and talking heads. Show me a person who has innumerable followers, popularity, high accolades, degrees and doctorates, scholarly knowledge, who has read all the books and passed all the tests but who has never learned to care for their family, never learned to recognize and act upon the Spirit, never learned to reach beyond their obsession of self to sincerely love their neighbor, who has never learned to truly love and truly serve - and you've shown me a fool, indeed.

The Kingdom of God will crush the Kingdoms of the earth in a way that those who only see by the flesh won't be able to understand because they will not open their eyes.  The stone cut out of the mountain without hands means "without the flesh"... it will be by the power of the Spirit!  Those who have eyes to see, ears to hear, and hearts that understand will not faint but with hope will listen to "the distant triumph song."

-Alicia

"Rejoice Evermore"

I love experiences where you pour your whole soul and heart out in prayer and then go to the scriptures and find words that speak directly to you.  Yesterday in family scripture study, both my husband and I took a few minutes to bear testimony of this principle.

I treasure my sacred moments with the Lord, where I can pray out loud and hold nothing back from Him.  He hears me and He knows everything in my heart.

I'm almost finished with "Increase in Learning" the first book of a three part series by, David A. Bednar.  If there is one thing I desire more to learn than anything else, it is to have a greater measure of the Spirit in my life.  I want eyes to see clearly and to be able to discern between truth and error every minute of every day.  It's easy for me to pray about but harder to apply.  I am thankful that I have a merciful Heavenly Father who is patient with me in my weakness.

After some pretty soulful prayers yesterday, I opened my book by Elder Bednar and saw he had listed several scriptures in the context of his writing.  I took a few minutes to look up each scripture and through that process came across some that I truly needed to hear!

"Fear not [Alicia], let your heart be comforted; yea, rejoice evermore, and in everything give thanks;  Waiting patiently on the Lord, for your prayers have entered into the ears of the Lord of Sabaoth, and are recorded with this seal and testament - the Lord hath sworn and decreed that they shall be granted.  Therefore, He giveth this promise unto you, with an immutable covenant that they shall be fulfilled; and all things wherewith you have been afflicted [or will be afflicted] shall work together for your good, and to my name's glory, saith the Lord"  - D&C 98:1-3

Then in cross-reference, I read these scriptures:

"Blessed be the Lord, because He hath heard the voice of my supplications.  The Lord is my strength and my shield: my heart trusted in Him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise Him." - Psalms 28:6-7

"Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait I say on the Lord." - Psalms 27:14

I resolve today to rejoice and give thanks in all things. I truly have SO MUCH to be thankful for.  What a wonderful, wonderful life I have right here and NOW.  I am so richly blessed!   I know my prayers are heard.  I trust that "[My] God doth undertake to guide [my] future as he has [my] past. [My] hope, [my] confidence let nothing shake; all now mysterious shall be bright at last." - Be Still My Soul 

I want to focus on the present moments and not let the little opportunities I have with my husband and my children to pass me by.  And with each moment I'm given here and now, I want to make the kinds of choices that better prepare me for what lies ahead, even though I can't see what that means for me.  Ultimately, I am preparing to meet my Savior when He returns to earth or when I leave this life - I want to be ready, I want to live by the Spirit and have my lamp full and trimmed, adorned for Him by the choices I've made and all I've treasured in my heart upon this journey.

-Alicia

"Everything we hope to accomplish in the future, how we prepare for the responsibilities that will ultimately be ours, is really a function of what we do today. Though some things about the future will always seem uncertain, the future is not entirely a mystery. To a great extent the future is shaped by the accumulation of all our daily activities and disciplined efforts." - Craig C. Christensen
"Tomorrow is Today"

Must Be Opposition In All Things

I gave a lesson for the young women of my Church last Sunday.  We also used it as a family lesson the following night.  This whole month I have been thinking of the talks that were suggested in the lesson plan and the quotes that were referenced therein.

The first quote is by President Spencer W. Kimball
"There are great challenges ahead of us, giant opportunities to be met. I welcome that exciting prospect and feel to say to the Lord, humbly, 'Give me this mountain,' give me these challenges."

I asked the young women and my children the same question:
"Why do you think President Kimball wants 'these challenges'?  Notice, not only does he want them but he says he 'welcome[s] that exciting prospect'.  What is he, nuts? Why would someone call challenges exciting?"

Our current Prophet, President Thomas S. Monson shared the other thing I've been thinking of all month.  He read a portion of this poem I've heard many times before.

Good Timber

The tree that never had to fight
For sun and sky and air and light,
But stood out in the open plain
And always got its share of rain,
Never became a forest king
But lived and died a scrubby thing.

The man who never had to toil
To gain and farm his patch of soil,
Who never had to win his share
Of sun and sky and light and air,
Never became a manly man
But lived and died as he began.

Good timber does not grow with ease:
The stronger wind, the stronger trees;
The further sky, the greater length;
The more the storm, the more the strength.
By sun and cold, by rain and snow,
In trees and men good timbers grow.

Where thickest lies the forest growth,
We find the patriarchs of both.
And they hold counsel with the stars
Whose broken branches show the scars
Of many winds and much of strife.
This is the common law of life.

-Douglas Malloch

An ancient prophet in the New Testament also shared his testimony of joy and beauty through adversity, "No chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grevious: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby." - Hebrews 12:11

All three of these righteous men are testifying that beautiful, "joyous", "peaceable", wonderful things come out of pressing through our opposition, through our adversity.

Joseph Smith was another who had trials I cannot even begin to fathom.
He received this promise in Liberty Jail, "if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good." - D&C 122:7

It's that word, "EXPERINCE" that strikes me, what we learn, what we gain, what we come to know as we go through and faithfully endure these challenges.  These prophets who have shared the beauty that can come of opposition are speaking from their own experiences.  I believe they know what it is first hand to cry out with the most soulful tears, with heart-wrenching agony over the sorrows that dig trenches in their hearts. They know what it means to pray and to "pray more earnestly".  They have anxiously sought for answers through the scriptures and turned to the word of the Lord for guidance.  And I am certain that every one of them have in their searching for answers, hope, and healing came to appreciate more fully the One Who carried all our suffering and descended below all things.

All of these ingredients: "soulful prayer", "serious study of the scriptures," and "seeking the Savior" work in us something amazing and beautiful.  It opens up our hearts to receive His Spirit and as we receive this Spirit within us we are changed into "new creatures".  Through this process, we witness over and over again the reality of God because we see undeniable, direct answers to our prayers.  We feel and experience for ourselves the reality of heaven.  This mountain we have climbed, however painful, has opened our "vision".  We see the bigger picture now, not just for our own lives but for others as well.  We WANT to "lift up the hands that hang down and strengthen the feebled knees." We have become converted, transformed, with new eyes, a new heart, and a new Spirit within us!  Like Jacob, our faith becomes "unshakeable".

I can see clearly from my own experiences why President Kimball said, "'Give me this mountain,' give me these challenges."  Through my adversities I have come to know my Father in Heaven and His Son, Jesus Christ.  Through these trials I have gained an appreciation for the strong shoulders of my Savior.  He is able!!!  I have found that this is the way to eternal life.  This is the fruit of the tree.  And a testimony like this worth every effort for it is "sweet above all that is sweet."

I humbly thank my Father for His infinite wisdom. And I am deeply thankful that He loves me enough to provide for me opposition and challenges. I too, welcome them.

-Alicia

He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother

On February 12, 2007 my friend, lost his wife in a tragic and horrific way.  A gunman open-fired at a shopping mall in downtown Salt Lake City killing five and wounding four.

So many people knew about this tragedy because it was all over the news.  Family, friends, ward members, and neighbors reached out to my friend.  Even complete strangers offered to help him.  He was overwhelmed with the outpouring of love and support he received at that time.  It truly sustained him.

In the summer of that same year, my husband and I had the privilege of going to the Holy Land with my friend.  He remarried not long after that trip and moved to Texas. He took on two step-children and had two more with his new wife. Through the next few years, we would get updates from him via the occasional Christmas card.  Everything looked picture-perfect and it seemed as if it all was going wonderful for him.

Last October, a couple of days before General Conference, my friend came into my mind.  I never thought about him and wondered why he just popped into my head like that.  Then Saturday afternoon, between Conference sessions, I got a message through Facebook from my friend asking if I would pray for him.  A second message came through immediately after the first asking if he could call me.  We never talk over the phone, so I was a little surprised by his request.  I messaged back my number and a few minutes later the phone rang.  I could hear the distress in his voice when I answered.  As he spoke, I remembered how I had thought about him just a few days before... this must have been why.

He proceeded to tell me how his wife that he had remarried had slowly stopped going to church, eventually started drinking wine, and now had rejected her Temple covenants.  He told me of all the efforts he had made to try and save their dying relationship.  I sat in stunned silence and just listened as he bawled over the phone, pouring out his soul to me.  Between deep sobs he said, "Alicia, this is far more difficult for me than I could ever have imagined, even harder than the tragedy that took my first wife."  I didn't know what to say.  I have never heard a man cry so hard as he was and it pulled on my heart.  As I continued to listen, I couldn't hold back the tears and I wept with him for nearly an hour.  I felt so helpless and it pained me that there was nothing more that I could do.  I know he didn't expect that there was anything I could say.  I think he just needed to talk to someone who knew his back-story and someone who would listen.

By the time our conversation had ended, the second session for Saturday's conference was starting.  I sat down on the couch, still stunned from everything my poor friend had told me.  Through the next few talks, I couldn't shake the feeling of wishing there was more I could have done, more I could have said... anything more than just crying with him, bearing my testimony, and promising my prayers.

.....

Then Elder Holland got up and spoke the words I truly needed to hear:

"Given the monumental challenge of addressing inequity in the world, what can one man or woman do? The Master Himself offered an answer. When, prior to His betrayal and Crucifixion, Mary anointed Jesus’s head with an expensive burial ointment, Judas Iscariot protested this extravagance and “murmured against her.”

Jesus said:

“Why trouble ye her? she hath wrought a good work. … “She hath done what she could.”

“She hath done what she could”! What a succinct formula! A journalist once questioned Mother Teresa of Calcutta about her hopeless task of rescuing the destitute in that city. He said that, statistically speaking, she was accomplishing absolutely nothing. This remarkable little woman shot back that her work was about love, not statistics."  - Jeffrey R. Holland 

.....

I felt as if the Lord, Himself, was telling me, "It's okay, Alicia, you have done what you could." I said a silent prayer of gratitude, that was just what I needed in the perfect moment.

Since that day, I have pondered much about that phone call with my friend and what he said about this other situation being harder to deal with than the shooting.  In the first situation, everything happened suddenly and without warning and the sorrow that accompanied it was a sadness that involved the temporary loss of physical life. There was also a large outpouring of community and family support, plenty of people who knew of his loss who reached out to him. Yet, in this other situation, it happened over a long period of time, very few people knew of his suffering and this involved a sorrow of watching someone he loved die a slow and spiritual death, one of their own choosing.

How many suffer like my friend? It's such a lonely road! How very few people realize the burdens that they carry and the losses of Life (with a capital "L") they are facing daily?  Trials like these aren't all over the news, in fact, when people experience the loss of a family member in this manner, very few if any even realize the heartaches and struggles deep beneath the surface.  Here my friend was telling me, "Alicia, this is far more difficult!"

What if we had eyes to see, ears to hear, and hearts to understand?  Would the Lord show us where "in the quiet heart is hidden sorrow that the eye can't see," If we asked Him, would he show us who needs our love and support?  I believe He would and that He does.

I have another dear friend who not only carries the burdens of his own life (which are currently some of the most heavy burdens I have ever seen) he also carries the burdens of an entire congregation. I have yet to meet anyone with a heart as big as his.  His burden is so heavy because he loves so greatly! It is an immense and heavy load he bears, one that would crush most anyone else and yet I know that "the salvation of [this] righteous [man] is of the Lord: He is [his] strength in [this] time of trouble." Psalms 37:39

Joseph Smith taught a great truth when he said, “The nearer we get to our heavenly Father, the more we are disposed to look with compassion on [suffering] souls; we feel that we want to take them upon our shoulders, and cast their [burdens on] our backs”
I get that!  I totally get that!

I remember being a little girl and playing records on my mom's stereo. There is one particular song that I absolutely loved and still do!!  It makes me think of my dear brother and these scriptures, Psalms 55:22, Galatians 6:2, and Mosiah 18:8-9.  I think this will be my song for today. ;)

-Alicia :)

I give it all in surrender.

"Lift My Life Up" by, Unspoken
.......

You brought me this far so why would I question You now

You have provided so why would I start to doubt

I've never been stranded, abandoned or left here to fight alone

So I'm giving You control

I lift my life, lift my life up

I give it all in surrender

I lift my heart, lift my heart up

You can have it forever

All my dreams, all my plans

Lord I leave it in Your hands

I lift my life, lift my life up

Have Your way in me

Have Your way in me

If peace is a river then let it sweep over me

If I'm under fire I know it's refining me

When I hear You calling out I follow now wherever the road may go

I know You're leading me home

I lift my life, lift my life up

I give it all in surrender

I lift my heart, lift my heart up

You can have it forever

All my dreams, all my plans

Lord I leave it in Your hands

I lift my life, lift my life up

Have Your way in me

Have Your way in me

Take my life and let it be all for You

Take my life and let it be all for You

I lift my life, lift my life up

I give it all in surrender

I lift my heart, lift my heart up

(Take my life)

I lift my life, lift my life up

I give it all in surrender

(Take my heart)

I lift my heart, lift my heart up

You can have it forever

All my dreams, all my plans

Lord I leave it in Your hands

I lift my life, lift my life up

Have Your way with me

Have Your way with me

Have Your way with me

Have Your way with me

Take my life and let it be all for You

........

"Every one of us is more beloved to the Lord than we can possibly understand or imagine. Let us therefore be kinder to one another and kinder toward ourselves. Let us remember that as we wait upon the Lord, we are becoming “saint[s] through [His] atonement, … submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon [us], even as a child doth submit to his father.”^{36 - Elder Robert D. Hales - Waiting upon the Lord: Thy will be done}

So Grateful for Prayer

I can't think of any other time of day that I value and treasure more than the moments I have to kneel down before my Maker, to vocalize everything that is in my heart, to thank Him, to praise Him, to seek His counsel, His wisdom, His guidance, His direction, His forgiveness, and feel His love and peace.  God is as real to me as I am alive.  He is my Rock and my Fortress and I know He lives.

I love this Gospel and how we are taught to pray.  Personal prayer is never rote.  It is our "soul's sincere desire".  Every time I hear Elder Richard G. Scott speak about prayer, I feel like saying, "Exactly, my brother, exactly!"  His pattern of praying is truly the Lord's way.  I have experienced it for myself,  it works, it really does!

Using the Supernal Gift of Prayer
Learning to Recognize Answers to Prayer
The Power of a Strong Testimony
Trust in the Lord
How to Obtain Revelation and Inspiration for Your Personal Life

Recently, I've been praying for the Lord to open my eyes and help me to feel sincere gratitude for the smallest things and to help me see all the good that surrounds me.  I've been praying for the Lord to help me embrace the here and now and the moments I am given from minute to minute.   I'm so thankful prayers are answered because I have truly felt enabled with that power.  I feel like shouting hallelujah! I am so richly blessed!

-Alicia

God Will Lift Us Up

We all face adversity. It is the common thread among the entire human family.  It is part of our mortal probation.  Some struggles and challenges may be obvious to others while some may be silent battles fought in the solitary chambers of the heart.  However this adversity comes is not what matters most, but rather how we come out of it.  God will test us and try us to prove our faithfulness.

 Sometimes the tests we face will come in ways that we never would have expected, and in such circumstances we may discover weaknesses we never realized we had.  How painful these discoveries can be!  But it is a loving Father who shows us them.  We might question our ability to endure and endure faithfully.  Regardless of how much we doubt our own abilities, the spiritual stamina we seek will grace us as we submit to the Lord and surrender our will to His.  

Our most difficult challenges may come at the realization that what we so desperately want for ourselves may not be what the Lord wants for us.  If this is the case, then so be it.  "Greater is He that is in [us]." He will lift us up.  Do we believe this?   He will lead us right.  We can trust this truth with full faith and confidence and do as Elder Holland has said; 

"Go forward. Don’t fear, don’t vacillate, don’t quibble, don’t whine... With the spirit of revelation, dismiss your fears and wade in with both feet. In the words of Joseph Smith, “...Go forward and not backward. Courage, brethren; and on, on to the victory!” (D&C 128:22).

I bear witness of the God of Glory, of the redeeming Son of God, of light and hope and a bright future. I promise you that God lives and loves you, each one of you, and that he has set bounds and limits to the opposing powers of darkness. I testify that Jesus is the Christ, the victor over death and hell and the fallen one who schemes there. The gospel of Jesus Christ is true, and it has been restored, just as we have sung and testified this morning.

“Fear ye not.” And when the second and the third and the fourth blows come, “fear ye not. . . . The Lord shall fight for you.” “Cast not away therefore your confidence.”

This video was on the Young Women lesson page.  I love the promises the apostles give in this clip.  I believe these promises with all of my soul.  

I also love this girl's incredible example of facing her challenges in such a way that she grows greater in love, greater in compassion, greater in patience, and ultimately greater in Christ.  I want that kind of heart!

-Alicia

Come What May

"I used to complain that I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet."  This is an old Indian Proverb that I love to repeat in my mind whenever I start to focus on what is missing in my life.

There is always someone who has struggles far worse than my own.  I have discovered, the greatest cure for sorrow in my heart is to look for someone who is in a worse situation and help them.  In doing so, I am able to forget about myself.  And oh, how I need to forget about myself more! I came into this world with nothing, so the smallest things are truly blessings and gifts that I am undeserving of.  Besides, I have my Savior, I have His true Gospel... with this alone. I hold a treasure far beyond any price and I am deeply humbled to thank my Father in Heaven all my days for it.

The following are quotes from a man who truly understood what gratitude was because he lived it to the fullest.  I love Elder Wirthlin!  He inspires me to be more humble and to gratefully receive whatever the Lord sees fit to allot unto me.

...................

"Come What May, and Love It:" 

Address Given by Elder Wirthlin at October 2008 General Conference

"Over the years I have learned a few things that have helped me through times of testing and trial. I would like to share them with you."

Learn to Laugh

"The next time you’re tempted to groan, you might try to laugh instead. It will extend your life and make the lives of all those around you more enjoyable."

Seek for the Eternal

"Because Jesus Christ suffered greatly, He understands our suffering. He understands our grief. We experience hard things so that we too may have increased compassion and understanding for others....Sometimes the very moments that seem to overcome us with suffering are those that will ultimately suffer us to overcome."

The Principle of Compensation

"The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude."

Trust in the Father and the Son

"He who descended below all things will come to our aid. He will comfort and uphold us. He will strengthen us in our weakness and fortify us in our distress. He will make weak things become strong... The simple secret is this: put your trust in the Lord, do your best, then leave the rest to Him"

"Come What May, and Love It:" Address Given by Elder Wirthlin at October 2008 General Conference

When the strife is fierce...

There is something Divinely spiritual about singing with a choir.  I love the sensation of harmonizing with a host of others, especially in songs of reflection and praise for our God.  I notably enjoy the moments when the accompaniment ceases and the choir resounds with voice alone.  It strikes a chord within me that testifies of the Divine living inside of us. Yesterday, our church choir performed the hymn "For All The Saints".  The fourth verse we sang a-capella. This verse grabbed a hold of me and was so meaningful, maybe in part, because I love a-capella but I think it was also due to my recent studies on suffering and the beauty that can come of it.

Today, that particular verse continues to play in my mind.

"And when the strife is fierce, the warfare long,
Steals on the ear the distant triumph song,
And hearts are brave again, and arms are strong."

 Sometimes, it may be extremely difficult to imagine glory and beauty born of strife and suffering. I reflect on the scripture in  D&C 19:15- 19 that speaks of the suffering our Savior bore to atone for us. Look at what came of that, was there nothing more beautiful and glorious?!

Of course, some suffering is needless, some we bring upon ourselves from ignoring God's counsel, but I am speaking of the sorrows and suffering that come despite our efforts and faithfulness. There may be those in our life who struggle with infirmities (of mind or body), who we have plead and poured our hearts out for heaven to heal them. And when that healing doesn't come, we may be tempted to believe that God has abandoned us or that He doesn't care.  But I testify, He does care, infinitely and personally! He does hear our cries! And if you listen, you will hear "the distant triumph song, and hearts are brave again and arms are strong."  

That word, "brave," what does it mean?

 Being brave certainly doesn't mean that you are not afraid, that you don't suffer, or that you don't feel pain.  It means you keep moving, keep trying, keep believing, keep loving, and shining, in spite of all your fears, your doubts, and your pain, however long and hard the road may be.  Yes, it means staying the course in full understanding that this struggle could very well be for the rest of your life.

I have someone who I love very much, who doesn't believe in himself, who would never consider himself as "brave."  He often feels defeated because he gets depressed.  He feels purposeless because he feels so much pain, and feeble because he fears.  But he keeps moving, day after day, one foot in front of the other, in spite of all he struggles with.  I gave him an extra long hug this morning, cradled his face in my hands, looked him in the eyes and said, "You are brave... so much braver than you know! You have more courage than you realize because you haven't quit.  You are stronger than you think you are. You're going to make it... you are making it!" He looked at me disbelievingly and my heart broke.  But I believe there is no such thing as wasted words, wasted service, or wasted effort, if those things are done in the spirit of genuine and sincere love.

I know that these things are not easy... but it is so very worth it. The truth is, I blog probably more for myself than for anyone...  (I imagine that very few people, if any, even see the things I post here.)  But if someone does stumble across this place, I pray these words I write to bring the much-needed healing and hope to my own soul will also somehow, somewhere, strengthen a brother or sister along their journey as well.

So... When the strife is fierce....Keep on charging ahead!!

And now with that... here is my song of healing and hope for today:

"To The Dreamers" 

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujrcvpw9Zcc

We're beat up but won’t be broken

Lonesome but always searching

Homesick but nobody’s heading home soon

Keep on, keeping on, keeping on

Long days and too many short nights

And wrong ways that almost felt right

Lovesick but nobody’s holding you

Keep on, keeping on, keeping on

So sing along, sing along, sing along… Yeah

To the dreamers

Wide-eyed believers

Hanging onto hope by a thread

To the soulful

Heart open hopeful

Keep on charging ahead

‘Cause, when you feel it, once you see it, and you breathe it

It’s unforgettable

When you know it, once you know it, and you hold it

It’s unforgettable

God knows you question your courage

And some days I can’t walk for stumbling

If we could only see what we’re becoming

Keep on, keeping on, keeping on

So sing along, sing along, sing along… Yeah

When you feel it, once you see it

It’s unforgettable

When you know it, once you know it, and you hold it

It’s unforgettable

I was wondering and I was wandering

So down and out, I was lost not found

History said, oh someone said, that you could never exist

But then a whisper, the start of a kiss

Came to me in all of a sudden like a dream, a fantasy

That day didn’t feel quite real

You took a half dead soul and You made me believe

I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe

To the dreamers

Wide-eyed believers

Hanging onto hope by a thread

To the soulful

Heart open hopeful

Keep on charging ahead