The Art of Losing Self

The Lord calls out... “Give me all of you!!! I don’t want so much of your time, so much of your talents and money, and so much of your work. I want you!!! All of you!! I have not come to torment or frustrate the natural man or woman, but to kill it! No half measures will do. I don’t want to only prune a branch here and a branch there; rather I want the whole tree out! Hand it over to me, the whole outfit, all of your desires, all of your wants and wishes and dreams. Turn them all over to me, give yourself to me and I will make of you a new self---in my image. Give me yourself and in exchange I will give you Myself. My will, shall become your will. My heart, shall become your heart.” - C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

As I “Give up [my]self... [I]will find [my] real self. Lose [my] life... [I] will save it. Submit to death, death of [my]ambitions and favorite wishes every day and death of [my]whole body and in the end submit with ever fiber of [my]being... [I]will find eternal life. [As I] Keep back nothing. Nothing that [I]have not given away will be really [mine]. Nothing in [me]that has not died will ever be raised from the dead...  [As I] look for Christ and [I]will find Him, and with Him everything else thrown in.”  
― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

-Alicia

"Unarmed"

In my studies this morning, I read Mosiah 20:26 where it says, "And when the Lamanites saw the people of Limhi, that they were without arms [or unarmed], they had compassion on them and were pacified towards them." I thought of this scripture in the Bible "A soft answer turneth away wrath; but greivous words stir up anger."- Proverbs 15:1

I have to ask myself, "How am I doing with my communication in my family?"  What does it look and sound like to be the kind of person whose knee-jerk reaction is to speak "unarmed"?

As I ask myself this question, I think, "Well, there are just those 'certain people' who are more difficult to communicate with than others.  They are the ones who to me seem to always be 'armed' at everyone else, as if no matter what anyone says or does they are loaded with criticism, ready to shoot insults, scathing remarks, or personal jabs."  How the heck am I supposed to communicate with those people "unarmed"?  How do I "end the conflict" and end it now?  I can't make them lay down their "weapons of war" but I can surrender mine.  Oh man, but this kind of humility for me is SO much easier said than done.

I think of Elder Wirthlin's talk from a few years ago.  It's one of my favorites:

"Each one of us will travel a different road during this life. Each progresses at a different rate. Temptations that trouble your brother may not challenge you at all. Strengths that you possess may seem impossible to another. Never look down on those who are less perfect than you.

We are all children of our Heavenly Father. And we are here with the same purpose: to learn to love Him with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and to love our neighbor as ourselves.

When we are filled with kindness, we are not judgmental. The Savior taught, "Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven."  He also taught that "with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again." 

"But," you ask, "what if people are rude?"

Love them.

"If they are obnoxious?"

Love them.

"But what if they offend? Surely I must do something then?"

Love them.

"Wayward?"

The answer is the same. Be kind. Love them.

Why? In the scriptures Jude taught, "And of some have compassion, making a difference." 

Who can tell what far-reaching impact we can have if we are only kind?

My brothers and sisters, the gospel of Jesus Christ transcends mortality. Our work here is but a shadow of greater and unimaginable things to come...

...As our Heavenly Father loves us, we also should love His children.

May we be models of kindness. May we ever live up to the words of the Savior: "By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another." Of these truths I bear witness in the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen." 

- By Joseph B. Wirthlin, given April 2005

 I have so much to learn.  I'm grateful for another day to practice this kind of communication, this type of love, this kindness.  One of these days I'll get it down to an art.... practice, practice, practice!  I'm so thankful for a loving and patient Father in Heaven who gives me new opportunities to learn to be and do a little better than the day before.

-Alicia

Holding On!

One of my favorite stories in the scriptures is when Jesus calls Peter out onto the water.  Matthew 14:25-33 

With that... I think "In the strength of the Lord" makes a great talk to follow-up those verses.

....Of course, if I throw in a perfect talk, I've got to throw in a perfect song to go along side it too.  ;)

Holding On to You

Friendship,Faith, and Love

Sonya is tall and slender with dark blond hair past her shoulders.  She has the most beautiful blue eyes and a smile that couldn't be more perfect in the magazines.

Sonya and I met during my sophomore year in high school.  We had a drama class together.  That class was cake for her because she was the queen of performance!  You could put any piece of music in front of her and she could not only play it out beautifully with the piano, she also had an angelic voice with perfect pitch and tone to match.  She was naturally animated too, her expressions and mannerisms seemed to be as if she was always on stage.  Needless to say, she had the star role in every one of our high school performances; Steel Magnolias, Guys and Dolls, Bye Bye Birdie, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat, and The Curious Savage.

After high school graduation, I moved in with Sonya's family due to some difficulties going on in my own home.  Her parents, Catherine and Tom, took me in as one of their own, they were wonderful to me! Catherine was a piano teacher for many years, one of the very best.  I could see where Sonya got her musical gifts.  Her sister, Maren, was musical too, a gorgeous opera singer and ballet dancer, as feminine and finespun as a woman could be.  

I remember one day Sonya's dad, Tom, was helping me fix the fuel pump in my car.  I walked through the back door of the house with black and greasy fingers as I made my way over to the kitchen sink.  Maren eyed my hands in horror as she gasped, "How can you stand all of that filth on your fingers?"  

"I had fun," I said as I scrubbed, "Your dad is teaching me a lot."

"Oh, I could never do that!" She poised herself in a ballet-like form and sighed, "I... am a delicate flower."

I laughed out-loud!
I had never heard anyone refer to themselves as a "delicate flower" before and it caught me off guard.  How ridiculous it seemed. I guess I never really cared for nicely manicured hands, especially when it meant getting them dirty from learning something new.

"Oh Maren, you crack me up," I said "Of course you are.  And you never have to change." I patted her endearingly.  

Maren laughed her unique laugh that always made me smile. It almost sounded operatic, so fitting for her personality.

Aw, Maren.... she was awesome.

One afternoon Sonya rushed excitedly up the stairs  into our bedroom and showed me a quote she just discovered. (She knew I loved collecting them.)  

"Look at this one, Alicia.  You're gonna love it!"  She read to me from a little 3x5 card;

"There is no chance, no destiny, no fate, that can circumvent or hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul. - Ella Wheeler Wilcox

"Isn't that awesome!" she said. "Let's put it on the mirror in the bathroom and memorize it!"

"Okay!" I agreed wholeheartedly.

Our intention was to use it as our motto to pep us up as we prepared to go out and serve full-time missions.  There was no chance, no destiny, no fate that would stop us from going out into the white and ready field!!!  I met my husband the month before I turned 21 and married him 16 weeks later...so... I guess I wasn't all that "determined" to be a sister missionary. 

I grew to love everyone in Sonya's family.  I also learned that there is no such thing as a perfect home, no matter how ideal it looked on the outside.  Overall, the memories there will always be sweet to me. 

Sonya and I have kept in contact through the years.  She lives in Oregon now and whenever she comes home to visit she gives me a call or stops by my place.  She's much better at keeping touch than I am.  

One particular visit about seven years ago, she confided in me about some struggles she was having in her marriage.  

I referred her to some of my favorite Elder Holland talks and then said, "You know, we are always told to be more Christ-like, to do as He would do, to love like the Savior loved.  And truth be told, sometimes that is harder for me to grasp  I guess because I AM so far from perfect.  I don't know how to be like Him.  But I DO KNOW what it feels like TO LOVE HIM.  I mean, look at the scripture in Matthew for an example,"

"Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these... ye have done it unto me."- Matt 25:40

"Maybe Christ is telling us this  because He knew the concept of 'being like Him' would be hard for most of us to grasp? 

For me, it seems easier to know 'what to do' if we imagine everyone around us as if they were Him.

 What would we say?  How would we act?  

Christ's love changes us.  You see... because we are loved by someone so incredibly amazing, so unbelievable, how could it not change us?

Love is powerful!  Think about it... When you fall in love, you would do anything and everything for the very best interest of that person.  You would serve them and care for them willingly, most gratefully.  You would strive to be your very best self around them and would never want to harm or hurt them in any way.  

Now, what if you took that energy and treated everyone around you as if they were the 'one you loved'?  Can you imagine the impact?!!"

My friend and I talked back and forth about this concept, and she grew more and more excited to put it into practice. 

A year later, when she came to visit again she said, "You know, Alicia, that time you told me about loving everyone as if they are Christ instead of trying so hard to be like Christ was really freeing for me.  It just made more sense, so much easier to comprehend that way!  And it has been working." 

It was wonderful news to hear.

I've been thinking a lot about this concept. I resolve to put it into practice more:

How differently would I treat my spouse, my children, my neighbors, or the stranger on the street if with each of them, I imagined the Savior?  What if in every situation I "did unto others... as I would do unto Him"?  

What a force for good it could be!!

"We have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.
Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world.
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear....
..We love him, because he first loved us." - 1 John 4:16-19

Because He Lives and Loves

My peace, my hope, my healer, and friend,

Author and finisher of my faith to the end,

Savior through Thee, I see heaven's view,

Truth breathes in life, my spirit made new,

The grace of Your love flows in my veins,

As my heart sings out, "My Savior Reigns!"

-Alicia Rawlins

What is your Abrahamic trial?

I've been thinking for quite some time now about the principle of sacrifice in order to show our love, faith, and obedience to God.  Abraham was asked to lay down the life of his son that he loved, his son that he had dreamed of, hoped for, and waited 100 years to come into his life.  What would we be willing to lay down at our Father's feet saying, "You can take this.  As much as I love this and as much as this hurts, I am willing to lay this down because I love you more, Lord."

Abraham being willing to sacrifice his beloved son, Isaac, was  a similitude of God and his Only Begotten Son. - Genesis 22:1-14.

I wonder if Abraham found hope in God's request when he drew upon his previous revelation that he would have children as numerous as the stars in the sky?  Is that why he said to his son "God will provide the lamb"?

I woke up this morning with this song "Touch The Sky" playing in my head and thought about Abraham and his journey.  Every step up that mountain was a manifestation of his faith.  Isaac meant the world to him.  This was his life!  Yet, he was willing to let him go and say, "Lord, you can have him.  Take him and I will still praise and honor You."

What do you love more than anything and if God asked you to, would you be willing to lay it down for Him?

-Alicia

"Touch The Sky"

by, Hillsong United

What fortune lies beyond the stars

Those dazzling heights too vast to climb

I got so high to fall so far

But I found heaven as love swept low

My heart beating, my soul breathing

I found my life when I laid it down

Upward falling, spirit soaring

I touch the sky when my knees hit the ground

What treasure waits within Your scars

This gift of freedom gold can't buy

I bought the world and sold my heart

You traded heaven to have me again

My heart beating, my soul breathing

I found my life when I laid it down

Upward falling, spirit soaring

I touch the sky when my knees hit the ground

Find me here at Your feet again

Everything I am, reaching out, I surrender

Come sweep me up in Your love again

And my soul will dance

On the wings of forever

My heart beating, my soul breathing

I found my life when I laid it down

Upward falling, spirit soaring

I touch the sky when my knees hit the ground

Find me here at Your feet again

Everything I am, reaching out in surrender

Come sweep me up in Your love again

And my soul will dance

On the wings of forever

Upward falling, spirit soaring

I touch the sky

When my knees hit the ground

"Learn" and "Rest"

(Laying it on the Altar)

Don't Give Up

I don't understand what it is like to be emotionally numb on a regular basis, to go day after day forcing a smile when it seems as if you have absolutely no feeling inside except for the feeling of hopelessness.  I'm grateful I don't suffer from chronic depression but my heart breaks for those who do.  I'm slowly learning that fixing it in others is truly beyond my reach.  Even still, I can continue to love with all that I have and hope it is making a difference in some small way!

This song goes out to my very close and very dear friend whose suffering I cannot comprehend.  I know the Savior comprehends all things though. Please don't give up.  Just one foot in front of the other... You are so much better and so much more than you think you are!

-Alicia

"You Are Loved"

by, Josh Groban

Don't give up

It's just the weight of the world

When your heart's heavy

I will lift it for you

Don't give up

Because you want to be heard

If silence keeps you

I will break it for you

Everybody wants to be understood

Well I can hear you

Everybody wants to be loved

Don't give up

Because you are loved

Don't give up

It's just the hurt that you hide

When you're lost inside

I will be there to find you

Don't give up

Because you want to burn bright

If darkness blinds you

I will shine to guide you

Everybody wants to be understood

Well I can hear you

Everybody wants to be loved

Don't give up

Because you are loved

You are loved

Don't give up

It's just the weight of the world

Don't give up

Every one needs to be heard

You are loved

To the Pure in Heart

"Behold, I... would speak unto you that are pure in heart.  Look unto God with firmness of mind, and pray unto Him with exceeding faith, and He will console you in your afflictions, and He will plead your cause... O all ye that are pure in heart, lift up your heads and receive the pleasing word of God, and feast upon His love; for ye may, if your minds are firm, forever." - Jacob 3:1-2

I read this scripture this morning and just felt like sharing it.  I especially love this part: "Receive the pleasing word of God, and feast upon His love."

Oh, and a nice touch to this would be to read it with a little music.  :)
That's the way I like it.

-Alicia

Love of Learning

         I was given a blessing many years ago that said I would love learning, that it has been something I have loved long before I was born onto this earth and I would carry it with me throughout my life.  It's true!  I love learning with all of my heart and soul!        
         I have thoroughly been enjoying school at BYU.  Last night after a few ours of studying late, I walked across campus, making my way home, and felt an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for this gift I have been given.  Tears welled up in my eyes as I thought of the goodness of God.  I thanked my Father in Heaven for this "dream come true" in my life. What a blessing!  I thank Him every day!
         I absolutely love my Anthropology class!  It's been eye opening to say the least.  I've been completely fascinated with how much there is to learn about myself as I dive into the lives, minds, and cultures of other people.  My instructor is also very hilarious and there hasn't been one day in class yet where I haven't enjoyed a good hearty laugh. He once read a verse to us from The Hawaiian Pidgin Bible and I nearly fell off my seat from the hilarity. It's awesome! (You should check it out.)
    Today, I've been assigned to write a paper in my religion class.  We've been asked to write on just two chapters of the Book of Mormon (anywhere between 1 Nephi 1 to Jacob 7) and discuss character traits and attributes of Jesus Christ.  Although it was hard to decide which ones to choose, I really enjoyed the process.  This has truly been my favorite homework assignment.  I figured I might as well share it here.  It's part of my testimony and will fit nicely on my blog.  So here ya go:

.................................

          In all of scripture there’s not a more beautiful love story found than what is to be discovered in the words of Isaiah.  He speaks Messianically and through him, we learn the intent and heart of God, here the greatest love ever shown is revealed through the principle of sacrifice; not just of body but to the exhausting of heart, might, soul, and mind. To the Jews in ancient Jerusalem, to the Nephites and Lamanites in the new world, and to His modern children on earth today, the message is the same!
          The word “hear” is embedded in the word “hearken”.  Interestingly, it is also found in the word “heart”.  I love this because “hearken” means; listening with our hearts, with full intent to act with willingness to perform what has been required, stemming from Divine love and not out of duty.  In the very first verse of 1 Nephi 20, this is how the Lord calls out to His people, “Hearken and Hear” two words characteristic of a loving plea from our Lord.  He’s begging them and us to please listen, not just with our ears but with our souls, and not just pay attention but to pay strict heed.
         There is great urgency in the context of this call to “listen up.”  Christ is speaking to the baptized members of the church, His covenant people, those who “swear by the name of the Lord” but “do not stay themselves upon [Him]”.(1) He basically says, “Look, I’ve been trying to speak to you from the very beginning, but like a stubborn child you shut me out saying, ‘yeah, yeah I know this already.’  Then you exploit my name so you can call yourselves 'holy' and give credit to your own image and the other false gods you worship.(2)  That’s not how this works. You are following the way of the world and it will only bring destruction.”  Over and over again He begs his people to flee worldliness, to break away from Babylon, to leave their life of pride and sin because there is no peace or happiness in these things and there and never will be.(3)
The Savior with His unfailing love for His wayward sheep tells them of all the blessings that could be theirs if they would just hearken unto Him, the Good Shepherd.  “Then you would have had peace like a river, [and] you would have not thirsted in the desert.”(4)
The people relentlessly reject Him but He continues to warn His children of impending dangers and sends a servant (the prophet)  to help “bring Jacob (His covenant people) again to Him”.  His servant is also rejected and laments, “I have labored in vain, I have spent my strength for naught”.(5)  The frustration of such indifference among the people is palpable and the burden is crushing.  But the Lord in His wisdom reminds the servant that this weight of responsibility “Is a light thing… and [He] will give [him] for a light.” Don’t fret over all the details, I just want you to shine! Trust me, He whose “hand hath spanned the heavens”(6) laying out all the brilliant burning stars and galaxies will “give [his servant] for a light”.(7)
Darkness shrouds the hearts and minds of the people as they sit in the shadowy black cell of their own deception and sin.  But all is not lost. The Lord calls more servants to help the first.  Light always dispels dark “Show yourselves”(8)  is the Lord’s call to those on His errand.   Shine to them who sit in darkness!  The Savior gathers his “light bearer’s” his very elect from all parts of the globe.(9)  Clothed in covenant, like a bride in her gown(10) they will radiate a heavenly glow and they will be given stamina and energy, a swiftness in their step and a song in their heart as they go about His work.(11)  The desolate who sit in waste will lift up their eyes and see redemption breaking through their dark horizon like the rays of the morning sun. And in great mercy they will realize they have not been forgotten, they will come to know the Lord and witness that they have been “engraven upon the palms of His hands”.(12)  Changed by His matchless love, no longer will they hunger or thirst for the things of the world but will find living water in Christ.(13) Through God’s infinite power of His only begotten Son “The captives of the mighty shall be taken away, and the prey of the terrible shall be delivered.”(14)
Unfailing, undaunted, constant, and true in every rejection he continued to offer Himself.  The Lord never gave up on His people and never will, no matter the sacrifice, no matter the cost.  This is a story of the purest and most noble kind of love and it’s true, all of it.

1 -(1 Ne. 20:1,2), 2- (1 Ne. 20:1,2), 3-(1 Ne. 20:20,22), 4-(1 Ne. 20:18, 21), 5-(1 Ne. 21:4,5), 6-(1 Ne. 20:13), 7-(1 Ne. 21:6), 8-(1 Ne. 21:9), 9-(1 Ne. 21:12), 10-(1 Ne. 21:18), 11-(1 Ne. 21:13), 12-(1 Ne. 21:16), 13-(1 Ne. 21:10), 14-(1 Ne. 21:25)

Godly Fear Dispels Mortal Fear

I got up at 4:30 this morning as to assure me some time to finish my homework due for class today.   I missed my regular study time last night to participate in a face to face broadcast with Elder Bednar.  It was a very worthy exchange!  I love Elder Bednar's words!!!  I've been reading his series of books, Increase in Learning, Act in Doctrine, and Power to Become.

I crawled out of bed and went out to my favorite spot in my living room to pray, my little place of treasured communion with my Father.  I had a lot to do within a few short hours but I wanted to start my day off right.  I cracked open the scriptures and read more words on faith and trust, some of which seemed to speak my name, "Prepare your mind [Alicia]. [I] exhort you unto faith and to patience." (Alma 34:3)  

Ah, yes... faith and patience.  I pray for that with all of my heart.

I was blessed to have finished my homework sooner than expected.  This was an answer to my prayer because I was anxious to take a moment to soak up some comforting words and turned to Elder Bednar's recent conference address.  
... Ah, Just what I needed.  

I have shared below the parts that stood out to me the most.  What a blessing that we have this fountain of living water, these words of the living prophets, the scriptures, and our communion with our Father in Heaven through prayer.  They restore my soul!

-Alicia

.......................

Mortal Fear
"The distressing emotion of fear arises because of impending danger, uncertainty, or pain and through experiences that are unexpected, sometimes sudden, and likely to produce a negative outcome.

Fear is dispelled through a correct knowledge of and faith in the Lord Jesus Christ

Nephi declared: “Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life” (2 Nephi 31:20).

The disciplined endurance described in this verse is the result of spiritual understanding and vision, persistence, patience, and God’s grace. Exercising faith in and on the holy name of Jesus Christ, meekly submitting to His will and timing in our lives, and humbly acknowledging His hand in all things yield the peaceable things of the kingdom of God that bring joy and eternal life (see D&C 42:61). Even as we encounter difficulties and face the uncertainties of the future, we can cheerfully persevere and live a “peaceable life in all godliness and honesty” (1 Timothy 2:2).

We can be blessed to hush our fears as we receive the fortitude that comes from learning and living gospel principles and resolutely pressing forward on the covenant pathway."

...........

Godly Fear

"The righteous fear I am attempting to describe encompasses a deep feeling of reverence, respect, and awe for the Lord Jesus Christ (see Psalm 33:8; 96:4), obedience to His commandments (see Deuteronomy 5:29; 8:6; 10:12; 13:4; Psalm 112:1)

Godly fear “is the beginning of knowledge” (Proverbs 1:7), “the instruction of wisdom” (Proverbs 15:33), a “strong confidence” (Proverbs 14:26), and “a fountain of life” (Proverbs 14:27).

Godly fear is loving and trusting in Him. As we fear God more completely, we love Him more perfectly. And “perfect love casteth out all fear” (Moroni 8:16). I promise the bright light of godly fear will chase away the dark shadows of mortal fears (see D&C 50:25) as we look to the Savior, build upon Him as our foundation, and press forward on His covenant path with consecrated commitment.

I love and revere the Lord. His power and peace are real. He is our Redeemer, and I witness He lives. And because of Him, our hearts need not be troubled or afraid (see John 14:27), and we will be blessed to hush our fears." 

- David A. Bednar (Therefore They Hushed Their Fears)

The Essential Element of Faith

In my studies this morning I appreciated the scriptures Alma shares in his sermon to the Zoramites from the words of the prophet Zenos.

After the Prophet Alma gives his beautiful clear-cut sermon on faith, there were still many who did not understand his words.  He tells them that they "ought to search the scriptures" and that in their searching of the scriptures, they would find that the Prophets have taught them over and over again "to pray" not rambled muttering, but sincere and meaningful prayer.  Prayer is essential in making our hearts receptive to the word of the Lord.

Alma asks the bewildered crowd, "Do ye remember to have read what Zenos, the prophet of old, has said concerning prayer or worship?  For he said:

Thou art merciful, O God, for thou hast heard my prayer, even when I was in the wilderness; yea, thou wast merciful when I prayed concerning those who were mine enemies, and thou didst turn them to me.

Yea, O God, and thou wast merciful unto me when I did cry unto thee in my field; when I did cry unto thee in my prayer, and thou didst hear me.

 And again, O God, when I did turn to my house thou didst hear me in my prayer.

 And when I did turn unto my closet, O Lord, and prayed unto thee, thou didst hear me.

 Yea, thou art merciful unto thy children when they cry unto thee, to be heard of thee and not of men, and thou wilt hear them.

 Yea, O God, thou hast been merciful unto me, and heard my cries in the midst of thy congregations.

 Yea, and thou hast also heard me when I have been cast out and have been despised by mine enemies; yea, thou didst hear my cries, and wast angry with mine enemies, and thou didst visit them in thine anger with speedy destruction.

And thou didst hear me because of mine afflictions and my sincerity; and it is because of thy Son that thou hast been thus merciful unto me, therefore I will cry unto thee in all mine afflictions, for in thee is my joy; for thou hast turned thy judgments away from me, because of thy Son.  - Alma 33:3-11

..................

It says six times in those few verses that God "did hear" or"will hear."  Then Alma asks the people, "Do you believe those scriptures?"  He's basically stating again, "It's faith, brothers and sisters, pure and simple faith!  That is the element you are missing! But you are not even willing to believe enough to pray sincerely about these things, to search it out, or to open your hearts just a little bit.

The Savior said, "If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth." - Mark 9:23

What an awesome promise! I know it's true!

As I read those verses in Alma 33 on prayer, a sense of gratitude washed over me for this simple and basic principle.  The sweetest part of my everyday is when I kneel to pray.  Like Zenos, I rejoice with all of my heart that wherever I go and wherever I am, I can pray and the Lord will hear me every single time!  I know this!

- Alicia

Secret Prayer

"There is an hour of peace and rest,

Unmarred by earthly care;

'Tis when before the Lord I go

And kneel in secret prayer.

May my heart be turned to pray,

Pray in secret day by day,

That this boon to mortals giv'n

May unite my soul with heav'n."

Text and music: Hans Henry Petersen, 1835-1909

............
My song for the day!  :)
I will stand my ground where hope can be found!

Take two and call me in the morning.

Several weeks ago, a friend of mine confided in me about some heavy burdens she was carrying.  Wearied and weighed down, she opened her heavy heart to me.  I listened to her sincerely and then told her about a couple of Elder Jeffrey R. Holland's talks that had been a great strength to me during my own times of need. (1 & 2)  I encouraged her to listen to both of them and jokingly said, "Take two and call me in the morning."

Though my physician reference was just for play, I was serious about the instruction.  She did listen to the talks and the next day called to thank me,
"Those were just what I needed!" she said with an audible relief in her tone.
I quickly responded, "Don't thank me.  I've been in the very same boat as you and all I did was share some of what got me through.  Thank our Father in Heaven that He has these 'glimpses of hope' provided for us during our burdensome journey."

...............

In that same spirit, I feel to share two verses and two songs for any other soul out there who might feel burdened or heavy-hearted:

Here are the two verses:

"I [the Lord] have heard [your] groaning... and I have remembered my covenant."

"Wherefore say unto [you], I am the Lord, and I will bring you out from under the burdens... and I will rid you out of [the] bondage, and I will redeem you with a stretched out arm..." - Exodus 6:6,7

Now here are the two songs...  Close your eyes and just listen.  I pray this brings a "glimpse of hope!"

PSALM 23

I testify that God is very aware of us and hears our every prayer.  "He is my strength and my song!"

He will carry us through every difficulty and lead us to green pastures.  I know this!

- Alicia :)

The Secret to Life

 "I wanted to tell you, that song 'Major Tom'... 

That song is about courage and going into the unknown. It's a cool song." 

- Cheryl Melhoff (The Secret Life of Walter Mitty)

Last night, we watched it again. This makes it the the third time we've watched this movie as family and I'm pretty sure it won't be our last.  Every once in a while a show comes along that strikes so many chords in me, I can almost hear my heart sing in tune. This is how I feel about Mitty.  I loved it the first time I saw it.  To me, everything about this movie is absolutely genius! It captures the magic of discovery; of dreams, of true beauty, of courage, of relationships, and of course... life.

Life's motto is powerful, it's all about vision, about perceiving with new eyes and a new heart.

“To see the world, things dangerous to come, 

to see behind walls, draw closer, to find each other, and feel 

- that is the purpose of life.” 

I love that!  It's the courage to step outside of our own little sphere and see the bigger picture, to explore the souls of others, to take a leap of faith, to seek understanding, and make lasting connections.  

One of my favorite scenes in this movie is when Walter is faced with the decision to jump on board of the departing helicopter. He has only a few seconds to make the pivotal move. His mind reflects on Cheryl, he can feel her faith in him like a surge of energy that puts his whole body into motion. Her mere influence instantly gives him courage to run for it and to grab hold of the opportunity that awaits him. Once aboard the helicopter, Walter knows that there is no turning back.

As the story unfolds we continue to see how Cheryl's influence sparks something within Walter Mitty.  Every thought of her ignites the embers of his hopes and dreams into a miraculous blazing reality. He starts to become who he has always wanted to become.  It's a side of him that has always been there but just locked away, lying dormant until awakened by purpose, by hope.  That's the power of love.

"Somewhere in your make-up (perhaps in the cells of your brain) there lies sleeping, the seed of achievement which, if aroused and put into action, would carry you to heights, such as you may never have hoped to attain." Once this "genius which lies asleep" is awakened by love, it will "drive you upward to whatever goal you may wish to achieve."  -Napoleon Hill

"Love is, without question, life's greatest experience.  It brings one into communion with Infinite Intelligence." - Napoleon Hill

Nothing could be more true!!  I believe this is why God is so powerful, because He is love personified.

"Friendship is a spiritual thing.  It is independent of matter, or space or time.  That which I love in my friend is not that which I see.  What influences me in my friend is not his body but his spirit.  He influences me about as much in his absence as in his presence."

- Henry Drummond

There's a quote I discovered  just over 20 years ago and I've never forgotten it. I believe it is a key that unlocks the heart in a way that is vibrant, full, and rich, brimming over with meaning... 

"Live to learn, learn to love, and you'll love to live." - Matthew Cowley

That is the secret to life!

- Alicia

"Stay Alive"

by, Jose Gonzalez

There's a rhythm in rush these days

Where the lights don't move and the colors don't fade

Leaves you empty with nothing but dreams

In a world gone shallow 

In a world gone lean

Sometimes there's things a man cannot know

Gears won't turn and the leaves won't grow

There's no place to run and no gasoline

Engine won't turn

And the train won't leave

Engines won't turn and the train won't leave

I will stay with you tonight

Hold you close 'til the morning light

In the morning watch a new day rise

We'll do whatever just to stay alive

We'll do whatever just to stay alive

Well the way I feel is the way I write

It isn't like the thoughts of the man who lies

There is a truth and it's on our side

Dawn is coming 

Open your eyes

Look into the sun as the new days rise

And I will wait for you tonight

You're here forever and you're by my side

I've been waiting all my life

To feel your heart as it's keeping time

We'll do whatever just to stay alive

Dawn is coming 

Open your eyes

Dawn is coming

Open your eyes

Dawn is coming

Open your eyes

Dawn is coming

Open your eyes

Look into the sun as the new days rise

There's a rhythm in rush these days

Where the lights don't move and the colors don't fade

Leaves you empty with nothing but dreams

In a world gone shallow

In a world gone lean

But there is a truth and it's on our side

Dawn is coming open your eyes

Look into the sun as a new days rise

Please don't run away!

As young women leaders in my church we have felt impressed to speak to the girls about the law of chastity.  It's a delicate subject to address, mainly because of misunderstanding the "why" of the law and "what" to do if it is broken.

I think my biggest anxiety in lessons like these are for those youth who have been raised in the gospel, taught their whole life what to avoid, what to do and not to do, and who have at one time or another found themselves in a vulnerable situation and gave in.  How difficult must it be for them to hear the seriousness of breaking the law of chastity?  Do they feel like a lost cause, that there is no more hope for them?  Do they feel that they've ruined the story of their life?  Do such lessons make them want to hide, to disappear from spiritual things, from the presence of God, or from those who speak in His name?  I certainly hope not.  I hope and pray in those situations that those youth have had firm foundational teachings in Christ, His redemption, and power to make things right again, to make them completely whole, as if it NEVER happened.

When Adam partook of the forbidden fruit he was ashamed and hid himself.  He desperately tried to cover his own nakedness by retreating into the darkness where he "couldn't be seen" by others or himself.  He ran away from the light which so painfully reminded him of the choice he had made.  How many of God's precious children do the same?  I have witnessed this for myself among people I love very dearly.  When they mess up, they give up.  They feel they've lost their worth.  But it's not true, they are still worth more than gold.  If they could only see.  I want to run and call after them, "Please don't go, all is not lost, there is hope... please whatever you do, don't disappear!"

That's essentially what our Father in Heaven did for Adam and Eve.  He called after them, He forgave them, and provided clothing for them so they didn't have to be ashamed of their nakedness anymore, so they could come out freely into the light and out of hiding.  The atonement of Jesus Christ not only clothes our nakedness but prepares us for the finest clothing.  He wants to adorn us like a bride for her groom.  I feel such reverence for this sacred truth! He pleads for us to "come unto Him."

Christ is all about healing, He's all about hope... He is all about love.

I cherish the following scriptures:

"And it came to pass, when he was in a certain city, behold a man full of leprosy: who seeing Jesus fell on his face, and besought him, saying, Lord, if thou wilt, thou canst make me clean.
And he put forth his hand, and touched him, saying, I will: be thou clean. And immediately the leprosy departed from him." - Luke 5:12-13

"And my soul hungered; and I kneeled down before my Maker, and I cried unto him in mighty prayer and supplication for mine own soul; and all the day long did I cry unto him; yea, and when the night came I did still raise my voice high that it reached the heavens.
And there came a voice unto me, saying: Enos, thy sins are forgiven thee, and thou shalt be blessed.
And I, Enos, knew that God could not lie; wherefore, my guilt was swept away.
And I said: Lord, how is it done?" - Enos 1:4-7

"When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?
 She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more." - John 8:10-11

This is the character of Christ.  I don't comprehend how it is all done.  But I know that there is nothing I could ever say or do that He can't fix. I know there is nothing  that would end His love for me... which makes me adore and reverence Him even more. He has provided a way back, a way for healing, and for wholeness.

I pray for the youth.  I hope they understand this.  I hope they understand their great and infinite worth.  If they have messed up, I pray they won't hide.  And I hope the only running they do is in the direction of the Savior.

Because of Him, we can start brand new... this is the first day of the rest of our lives.  Do we believe it?  Do we believe it not just for ourselves but for all of our brothers and sisters?  I do.  With all my heart, I do.

-Alicia

Ministering in the Lord's Way

We're not meant to walk the road of life alone.  I'm eternally grateful for those who have shined their light and helped me get through some of my darkest nights. :)

"Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world." - James 1:27

“Wherefore, be faithful; stand in the office which I have appointed unto you; succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees.” D&C 81:5

"It would seem that no one escapes some uncertainty, insecurity, doubt, and even fear. This mortal existence is invariably challenging and unpredictable. An honest person who is acquainted with the characteristics of life cannot ever be completely confident that his circumstances will not change unexpectedly.

How do we deal with the inevitable moments of fear or “feeble knees”? It is vital that we not face them alone. Always it is helpful and comforting to be able to confide in a loving and trusted friend or relative who empathetically listens to our uncertainties. We often find that our confidant has experienced similar fears, and we may even share in his wise counsel.

Life is never easy, and we cannot escape our own case of feeble knees from time to time. It is thus essential that we love and support one another." - Marvin J. Ashton

"Brother"

by, Needtobreathe

Ramblers in the wilderness we can’t find what we need

Get a little restless from the searching 

Get a little worn down in between

Like a bull chasing the matador is the man left to his own schemes

Everybody needs someone beside em’ shining like a lighthouse from the sea

Brother let me be your shelter

I’ll never leave you all alone

I can be the one you call

When you’re low

Brother let me be your fortress

When the night winds are driving on

Be the one to light the way

Bring you home

Face down in the desert now there’s a cage locked around my heart

I found a way to drop the keys where my failures were 

Now my hands can’t reach that far

I ain’t made for a rivalry I could never take the world alone

I know that in my weakness I am strong, but

It’s your love that brings me home

Brother let me be your shelter

I’ll never leave you all alone

I can be the one you call

When you’re low

Brother let me be your fortress

When the night winds are driving on

Be the one to light the way

Bring you home

And when you call and need me near

Sayin' where'd you go?

Brother I'm right here

And on those days when the sky begins to fall

You're the blood of my blood

We can get through it all

Brother let me be your shelter

I’ll never leave you all alone

I can be the one you call

When you’re feelin' low

Brother let me be your fortress

When the night winds are driving on

Be the one to light the way

Bring you home

Learning CharACTer

When working through difficulties or particular challenges, how often have we heard the phrase, "This will be good for you, it builds character."

What is character?

It is the sum of the soul.  It is the qualities and attributes that make up one's personality, who they truly are. It is character that determines destiny, NOT appearances, prestige, popularity, or circumstance.  

How is character reveled within each of us?  Martin Luther King taught, "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."  

In Lectures on Faith, Joseph Smith described that one of the three things "necessary in order that any rational and intelligent being may exercise faith in [the Father and Son] unto life and salvation is a correct idea of [Their] character, perfections, and attributes:" (page 33)

How do we gain a correct idea of the character of Christ?  We observe and study His life and His teachings... but there's more to learning than just studying, it must also be by faith. - D&C 109:7

"Faith is a principle of action... Faith in Jesus Christ is the first principle of the gospel and is more than belief, since true faith always moves its possessor to some kind of physical and mental action."

 -Bible Dictionary 

There's an old saying that you never truly understand a person until you've walked a mile in their shoes.  In order to understand the character of Christ, we must "walk a mile" in His shoes, we must try to be like Him in whatever circumstances.  Learning to walk in the footsteps of the Savior doesn't happen overnight.  The Lord is patient with us just as a father is patient with his children when they attempt to take their first steps.  Every time they stumble, he encourages them to keep trying and his heart is overjoyed with every success.  It requires constant effort and God is proud of all who are sincerely and genuinely doing their best.   

Learning the character of Christ requires acting out what we learn.  And in order to "act" out what we have learned from our great Teacher, we must be given circumstances that test us and try us.  Because of this knowledge, I am grateful for the challenges that confront me.  Challenges are opportunities for me to exercise my agency, to practice in faith/action what I have learned by study.  

Learning the CharACTer of Christ comes from acting as He would act, from practicing over and over what He would do.   

I am genuinely grateful for a loving Father in Heaven who is incredibly patient with me.  He doesn't scorn me when I stumble but sees it as a "good fall" because he sees my heart, He sees I'm trying.  The faith He places in me stirs within my soul a greater love and admiration for His character, I have a greater desire to become as He is.  So I'll keep learning, keep practicing, keep trying, and through His amazing grace, I won't just walk, I'll run!

"Live your life to be a good example of what you believe—in word and deed. How we live our religion is far more important than what we may say about our religion.

Our Savior’s Second Coming is drawing nearer. Let us not delay in this great cause. Remember Captain Moroni, who hoisted the title of liberty inscribed with the words “In memory of our God, our religion, and freedom, and our peace, our wives, and our children.”  Let us remember the people’s response: exercising their agency, they “came running together” with a covenant to act.

My beloved brothers and sisters, don’t walk! Run! Run to receive the blessings of agency by following the Holy Ghost and exercising the freedoms God has given us to do His will." 

- Elder Robert D. Hales

(Also see - The transforming Power of Faith and Character by, Richard G. Scott)

One thing I really love about this video is it's not just a loving father who encourages but also loving brothers and sisters.  How thankful I am for my brothers and sisters in the Gospel who cheer and inspire me every step of the way. Oh how I love them!

-Alicia

Grateful for Grace

I'll be the first to admit I am among the weakest of the weak.  I don't say this to belittle myself, I just say it as a fact... the Lord knows it.  I love this series of books I've been reading by David A. Bednar.  He speaks a lot about the enabling power of Grace.  I have a testimony of God's love and grace for me.  I am even grateful that I have weaknesses, that I have difficult times, and desperate pleas that bring me to my knees.  It is in these moments I dig deeper into my faith, I depend more on my Savior, and strive harder to anchor my heart to Him.  He has never failed me, never left my side, He is my truest Friend.

"I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things; yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise his name forever." - Alma 26:12

Feeling Grace

"Warm rays of sunlight stream down upon me and dance across my face.

Darkness is dispelled as the morning breaks.

I breathe in the crisp refreshing air that follows a summer rain.

I smile.

I breathe deep again.
I feel blessed, I feel free.

I am home.

A new day has arrived,

I am rested and renewed.

Hope is alive,

It pulses through my veins.

There is nothing I fear,
I am safe here.

And it's only the beginning..."

By, Alicia Rawlins 2009

Your Grace Finds Me

It’s there in the newborn cry

There in the light of every sunrise

There in the shadows of this life

Your great grace

It’s there on the mountain top

There in the everyday and the mundane

There in the sorrow and the dancing

Your great grace

Oh such grace

It’s there on a wedding day

There in the weeping by the graveside

There in the very breath we breathe

Your great grace

The same for the rich and poor

The same for the saint and for the sinner

Enough for this whole wide world

Your great grace

Oh such grace

There in the darkest night of the soul

There in the sweetest songs of victory

Your grace finds me

Yes your grace finds me

So I’m breathing in Your grace

And breathing out Your praise

I’m breathing in Your grace

Forever I’ll be

Breathing in Your grace

And breathing out Your praise

Your grace finds me

Yes Your grace finds me

by, Matt Redman

-Alicia