Daily Determines Destiny

Like Nephi, "I do not know the meaning of all things" but I do know that God "loves His children" and that He has blessed us with the ability to commune with Him through constant prayer.  "The scriptures are laid before [us]" (Alma 30:44) and we have the words of living prophets to guide us. As we seek, we will find, I know this!  If we seek light and truth, the Lord will guide us to light and truth.  (D&C 88:40-41)

The key is to be spiritually minded:

 "Don’t let something you don’t fully understand unravel everything you do know. Be patient, cling to truth; understanding will come. Trials are like great mists of darkness that can blind our eyes and harden our hearts. Unless we are “continually holding fast” to the word of God and living it, we will become spiritually blinded rather than spiritually minded. Search the Book of Mormon and the words of the living prophets every day, every day, every day! It’s the key to spiritual survival and avoiding deception. Without it, we are spiritually lost." - Elder Kevin W. Pearson (April, 2015 General Conference -Stay By the Tree)

I don't know the meaning of all things.  But I do know that holding to, applying, seeking and studying the words of God must be part of "my every day" and if I do this, I will be guided right. I have been promised that never any day will I need to walk in darkness but will have the light of truth along my journey.  

That Light is available to anyone and everyone who seeks it:

"That was the true Light, which lighteth every man that cometh into the world." -John 1:19

Lead kindly light!  I pray for eyes to see, ears to hear, and a heart that understands the will of the Lord for me in my every day choices. - (Matthew 13:16)

"Our daily discipleship will determine our eternal destiny. Awaken unto God, cling to truth, keep your sacred temple covenants, and stay by the tree!" - Elder Kevin W. Pearson (April, 2015 General Conference -Stay By the Tree)

How grateful I am for a loving Father in Heaven who hears my constant prayers!  He knows my heart. 

-Alicia :)

The Secret to Life

 "I wanted to tell you, that song 'Major Tom'... 

That song is about courage and going into the unknown. It's a cool song." 

- Cheryl Melhoff (The Secret Life of Walter Mitty)

Last night, we watched it again. This makes it the the third time we've watched this movie as family and I'm pretty sure it won't be our last.  Every once in a while a show comes along that strikes so many chords in me, I can almost hear my heart sing in tune. This is how I feel about Mitty.  I loved it the first time I saw it.  To me, everything about this movie is absolutely genius! It captures the magic of discovery; of dreams, of true beauty, of courage, of relationships, and of course... life.

Life's motto is powerful, it's all about vision, about perceiving with new eyes and a new heart.

“To see the world, things dangerous to come, 

to see behind walls, draw closer, to find each other, and feel 

- that is the purpose of life.” 

I love that!  It's the courage to step outside of our own little sphere and see the bigger picture, to explore the souls of others, to take a leap of faith, to seek understanding, and make lasting connections.  

One of my favorite scenes in this movie is when Walter is faced with the decision to jump on board of the departing helicopter. He has only a few seconds to make the pivotal move. His mind reflects on Cheryl, he can feel her faith in him like a surge of energy that puts his whole body into motion. Her mere influence instantly gives him courage to run for it and to grab hold of the opportunity that awaits him. Once aboard the helicopter, Walter knows that there is no turning back.

As the story unfolds we continue to see how Cheryl's influence sparks something within Walter Mitty.  Every thought of her ignites the embers of his hopes and dreams into a miraculous blazing reality. He starts to become who he has always wanted to become.  It's a side of him that has always been there but just locked away, lying dormant until awakened by purpose, by hope.  That's the power of love.

"Somewhere in your make-up (perhaps in the cells of your brain) there lies sleeping, the seed of achievement which, if aroused and put into action, would carry you to heights, such as you may never have hoped to attain." Once this "genius which lies asleep" is awakened by love, it will "drive you upward to whatever goal you may wish to achieve."  -Napoleon Hill

"Love is, without question, life's greatest experience.  It brings one into communion with Infinite Intelligence." - Napoleon Hill

Nothing could be more true!!  I believe this is why God is so powerful, because He is love personified.

"Friendship is a spiritual thing.  It is independent of matter, or space or time.  That which I love in my friend is not that which I see.  What influences me in my friend is not his body but his spirit.  He influences me about as much in his absence as in his presence."

- Henry Drummond

There's a quote I discovered  just over 20 years ago and I've never forgotten it. I believe it is a key that unlocks the heart in a way that is vibrant, full, and rich, brimming over with meaning... 

"Live to learn, learn to love, and you'll love to live." - Matthew Cowley

That is the secret to life!

- Alicia

"Stay Alive"

by, Jose Gonzalez

There's a rhythm in rush these days

Where the lights don't move and the colors don't fade

Leaves you empty with nothing but dreams

In a world gone shallow 

In a world gone lean

Sometimes there's things a man cannot know

Gears won't turn and the leaves won't grow

There's no place to run and no gasoline

Engine won't turn

And the train won't leave

Engines won't turn and the train won't leave

I will stay with you tonight

Hold you close 'til the morning light

In the morning watch a new day rise

We'll do whatever just to stay alive

We'll do whatever just to stay alive

Well the way I feel is the way I write

It isn't like the thoughts of the man who lies

There is a truth and it's on our side

Dawn is coming 

Open your eyes

Look into the sun as the new days rise

And I will wait for you tonight

You're here forever and you're by my side

I've been waiting all my life

To feel your heart as it's keeping time

We'll do whatever just to stay alive

Dawn is coming 

Open your eyes

Dawn is coming

Open your eyes

Dawn is coming

Open your eyes

Dawn is coming

Open your eyes

Look into the sun as the new days rise

There's a rhythm in rush these days

Where the lights don't move and the colors don't fade

Leaves you empty with nothing but dreams

In a world gone shallow

In a world gone lean

But there is a truth and it's on our side

Dawn is coming open your eyes

Look into the sun as a new days rise

"By the Power of His Word" - Spiritual Creation

As a family, we just finished reading Jacob chapter 4.  I love the verse where it says, "For behold, by the power of his word man came upon the face of the earth, which earth was created by the power of his word" - Jacob 4:9

What I love is this part... "created by the power of his word."  I believe this is another way of saying that they were "spiritually created first".

God created all things spiritually before they were naturally upon the face of the earth (see Moses 3chapter heading; Moses 3:5–7; see also D&C 29:31–32; Abraham 3:22–23).

To be created “spiritually” appears to have at least two meanings: to be planned in advance, and to be formed as a living being with individual identity and a spirit body (see Moses 3:5–7; see also Moses 3:19;6:51).

This fascinates me...  if we are to "become even as He is" then I believe God wants us to learn for ourselves not just the power of "His word" but the power of our own words when righteously used.

Creation Through Prayer
Our words = what we speak in heartfelt prayer, our desires, our hopes, our dreams, gratitude spoken, praises, prayers on behalf of others, etc.
His words = Personal revelation, spiritual enlightenment, whisperings of the Spirit

Creation Through Scripture Study 
Our words = the notes we take, sharing what we've learned through testimony,
His words = scriptures we ponder upon and allow to change our hearts, ancient and modern prophets, promises that give us hope, understanding of who we are and what God expects of us

Creation Through Covenants
Our words = keeping the promises we make "our word becomes our bond." We become persons of integrity
His words = "I the Lord am bound when ye do what I say" - God is a promise keeper.  We can trust that with full confidence.

.............

Even if a person does not believe in God they cannot help but acknowledge "the power of words" for good or for evil.  Our communication: what we speak, what we write, what others speak, what they write, how they listen and how we listen is very powerful!  This is where creation begins! The words we choose to use among our brothers and sisters on this earth create things spiritually first and then form into something physical.  The examples are everywhere around us.

It causes me to wonder... What are we "creating" with our words?
"Everyone plays a piece"... lets make it "glorious".

-Alicia
Our First Language

Revelation - "Lifting of the Veil"

 The root of the Greek word apokalupsis, translated ‘revelation,’ is kalu, meaning ‘a veil or covering.’  The prefix apo is a preposition meaning ‘from, away from.’  The suffix -psis denotes action or process.  Apokalupsis therefore means the action or process of taking away the veil.

Revelation = "Lifting of the Veil"  What a thought provoking concept!

I have spent much focus in my studies on the doctrine of revelation these last couple of weeks.  I desire more than anything to be guided by the Spirit in my life... but because I am mortal I have weaknesses, and I can be a little slow in recognizing exactly what the Lord is trying to reveal to me.

Have you ever prayed about something and received an answer but over the course of a few days looked back in disbelief and said to yourself, "It can't be true, it was just my own thoughts"?  It's in moments like these that I feel the desire to pray, fast, study God's word, and seek the Spirit even more diligently as Alma did.  He recognized inspiration from the Lord from following this pattern to such an extent that he knew it!  He boldly testified, "They are made known unto me by the Holy Spirit of God.  Behold I have fasted and prayed many days that I might know these things of myself.  And now I do know of myself that they are true; for the Lord God hath made them manifest unto me by his Holy Spirit; and this is the spirit of revelation which is in me." - Alma 5:46

I have seen this pattern of "prayer, fasting, study of God's word, and seeking the Spirit" work in my own life and can testify of its validity.  When it is of the Lord, I have also noticed that I will receive multiple witnesses confirming its truth from several different sources; a conference talk, a sermon in sacrament meeting, verses I come across in my scripture study, and of course the peaceful calm of the Spirit.

Just recently, I have "given [myself] to much fasting and prayer" about a direction in my life I feel the Lord is taking me but seeking to know most sincerely if it is truly the Lord reveling it to me or if it's my own desires. I have read scriptures that have given me the answer before but I am slow sometimes and need a 3rd or 4th witness.   I asked Him to forgive me for asking one more time and prayed that He would show me one more scripture to confirm that this was truly a revelation from Him.  I opened my Bible, thumbed through the pages and the first verse my eyes fell on were these, "For it is not ye that speak, but the Spirit of your Father which speaketh in you."  - Matthew 10:20
I just don't see things like that as a coincidence.  This was a direct answer to me.

The Lord wants to reveal things to us!  Look at the intense faith the brother of Jared had.  It was so great that "he could not be kept from beholding within the veil" and "he saw Jesus" - Ether 3:18,19
I believe that if we could truly see how powerful faith is, it would almost frighten us. "It is by faith that miracles are wrought; and it is by faith that angels appear and minister" - Moroni 7:37

 "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us." - Marianne Williamson

We are literal children of God, children of the Light. "We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience." -Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
I love that we have direct access to our Heavenly Home through prayer, through Jesus Christ, and that with full faith we can see what the Lord desires to show us.

I am so thankful to know emphatically that I have a loving Father in Heaven who not only hears my prayers but is involved in the smallest details of my life.  He wants to "lift the veil" from our eyes, He wants us to see His face and recognize His benevolent and guiding hand.

-Alicia

Happy Day!

Of course I've got to celebrate getting accepted into BYU -

and what better way than through music and dancing!

So, check this! 

MY SONG FOR TODAY!!! :D

"This Is The Time"

By, Superchick

This is the story of your life

A movie starring you

What's the next scene have for you to do?

Leave the dishes in the sink

Leave your fear there too

Live the story you would write for you

Say hey hey wake your heart

And break break break apart

The walls that keep you from being you

And walk walk towards the light 

And don't stop till you live your life

Like someone died for you

This is the time to try

Step out your life is waiting

And as you fall you'll find

That you can fly

This is the time to try

Step out your life is waiting

And as you fall you'll find

That you can fly

You can find a million words

To build a wall of fear

Safe behind that wall imprisoned here

Take that someday step today

To who you're meant to be

And turn your dreams to plans

So you can breathe

Say hey hey wake your heart

And break break break apart

The walls that keep you from being you

And walk walk towards the light 

And don't stop till you live your life

Like someone died for you

This is the time to try

Step out your life is waiting

And as you fall you'll find

That you can fly

Ask anyone whose time is up

What they'd give for what you've got

And how they'd live your life

Live like your life's worth dying for

You've just walked out that prison door

And you'll know how to live your life

This is the time to try

Step out your life is waiting

And as you fall you'll find

That you can fly

This is the time to try

Step out your life is waiting

And as you fall you'll find

That you can fly

Song of the Day - "I'm Letting Go!"

Because I've always got to have a song of the day...

This one is perfect-o!

"I'm Letting Go"

My heart beats, standing on the edge

But my feet have finally left the ledge

Like an acrobat

There's no turning back

I'm letting go

Of the life I planned for me

And my dreams

Losing control

Of my destiny

Feels like I'm falling and that's what it's like to believe

So I'm letting go

This is a giant leap of faith

Trusting and trying to embrace

The fear of the unknown

Beyond my comfort zone

I'm letting go

Of the life I planned for me

And my dreams

Losing control

Of my destiny

Feels like I'm falling and that's what it's like to believe

So I'm letting go

Giving in to your gravity

Knowing You are holding me

I'm not afraid

Feels like I'm falling and that's what it's like to believe

Feels like I'm falling and this is the life for me

Wonder of Wonders Miracle of Miracles

I keep thinking about miracles lately.  I think about how they are happening all the time, and can be found in literally everything around us, if we just have eyes to see, ears to hear, and hearts to understand.

I suppose it's "Flashback Friday" for me this morning, because I decided to take a stroll down memory lane through my old blog and read the things I posted under "miracles".

It was fun to read some things I wrote when we first moved to Provo.  It's interesting to see then where I thought we would be now.  We never did end up moving out of State.  We're still here... but I'm not complaining.  Now, I honestly never want to leave this place...
Besides, somehow I can't help but think that our staying is part of another much bigger miracle.

http://artofchristianity.blogspot.com/search/label/miracles

-Alicia

The Will of the Lord

It's funny how the Lord tutors...  how I can be having patterns of thought and begin to dismiss them as my own but then open the scriptures or text from a sermon and have it be exactly what I have been pondering already.  I say "it's funny" because it feels me with so much gratitude for how aware the Lord is of us that I can't help but laugh for joy.

I've been thinking a lot about adversity and pain and how they are the gateway to glory and beauty. You can't have one without the other. "There must be opposition in all things." Even last Friday night, I listened to a gentleman instruct a group of us on the compound nature of God, that even our Father in Heaven feels great love and great pain at the same moment. He sighted Moses 7:28-32 and noted that God wept because He loved so deeply, that it pained Him to see His children separate themselves from each other and from Him.

This last Sunday too, it seemed in every single sermon, someone said something that coincided exactly with my personal studies of these recent days.

Then this morning, I decided to open up the lessons in Young Women's for February.  I glanced over the topics lower down on the list since I would be teaching later in the month.  The heading "Why do we have adversity?" naturally stood out to me because it has been so present in my mind.
There, I opened to that topic, and low-and-behold, one of the talks was entitled, "Mountains to Climb". I couldn't help but smile because I had just written about that in my post from yesterday.

This kind of coinciding is not mere coincidence to me.  It's this very synchronizing and harmonizing that becomes solid evidence my prayers are heard and that "God is in His heaven and all's right with the world." - Browning

With that in mind, let me go back to my focus on struggle and adversity, hope and healing:
When we think of adversity, it's easy to imagine the kind that happens outwardly, in our physical lives: persecution, physical limitations, tragedies, illness, disease, loss of property, or loss of loved ones. This is the kind that most likely comes to our mind first.

I believe, though, that the greatest adversity we will ever struggle with is deep within our hearts, unseen to almost all around us and possibly even hidden to those we live with.  And what is this great struggle I speak of?  It is in the submission of our own will to our Father in Heaven that brings the greatest heartache.  It is in surrendering the thing that we are least willing to give up.  Letting go fully and completely what we want and desire so desperately to the realization that it may not be what the Lord wants for us.  The process of laying down "our will" may very well be more painful, more heart-wrenching, and more agonizing than the laying down to the grave our loved ones. This is bold for me to say but could it be possible?  Yes, and upon such realization, it may surprise us.  Christ gave the perfect example of full submission to the Father all throughout His life right up to the final test when the pain was so great that it caused him to be sore amazed .  He called out "My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even unto death." Then with perfect humility He prayed, "Not my will, but thine be done."

We must remember it is in learning this kind of submission, learning meekness, laying down our will (what we most desperately want) and taking up instead what the Lord wants, trusting wholly and completely that He knows best. This sweet surrender is where we come to find rest to our souls. This is the essence of faith at its fullest.  Here we can be at peace knowing that God truly hears our heartfelt pleadings and will provide the very best outcome for us, whatever and whenever that may be.

In the grand design of things, there really is nothing to fear, for that which is of God is eternal and that which is bound eternally can never be broken. It is an irrevocable law of the universe. This temporal sphere is such a small sliver of what is to be seen. One day there will come the unveiling of a much greater and glorious picture.  We do not see what God sees or know what He knows.  Nevertheless, "He Knows" therefore, I pray with all of my heart and soul "Lead kindly Light... I do not ask to see the distant scene - one step enough for me."

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2000/10/lead-kindly-light?lang=eng

-Alicia

When the strife is fierce...

There is something Divinely spiritual about singing with a choir.  I love the sensation of harmonizing with a host of others, especially in songs of reflection and praise for our God.  I notably enjoy the moments when the accompaniment ceases and the choir resounds with voice alone.  It strikes a chord within me that testifies of the Divine living inside of us. Yesterday, our church choir performed the hymn "For All The Saints".  The fourth verse we sang a-capella. This verse grabbed a hold of me and was so meaningful, maybe in part, because I love a-capella but I think it was also due to my recent studies on suffering and the beauty that can come of it.

Today, that particular verse continues to play in my mind.

"And when the strife is fierce, the warfare long,
Steals on the ear the distant triumph song,
And hearts are brave again, and arms are strong."

 Sometimes, it may be extremely difficult to imagine glory and beauty born of strife and suffering. I reflect on the scripture in  D&C 19:15- 19 that speaks of the suffering our Savior bore to atone for us. Look at what came of that, was there nothing more beautiful and glorious?!

Of course, some suffering is needless, some we bring upon ourselves from ignoring God's counsel, but I am speaking of the sorrows and suffering that come despite our efforts and faithfulness. There may be those in our life who struggle with infirmities (of mind or body), who we have plead and poured our hearts out for heaven to heal them. And when that healing doesn't come, we may be tempted to believe that God has abandoned us or that He doesn't care.  But I testify, He does care, infinitely and personally! He does hear our cries! And if you listen, you will hear "the distant triumph song, and hearts are brave again and arms are strong."  

That word, "brave," what does it mean?

 Being brave certainly doesn't mean that you are not afraid, that you don't suffer, or that you don't feel pain.  It means you keep moving, keep trying, keep believing, keep loving, and shining, in spite of all your fears, your doubts, and your pain, however long and hard the road may be.  Yes, it means staying the course in full understanding that this struggle could very well be for the rest of your life.

I have someone who I love very much, who doesn't believe in himself, who would never consider himself as "brave."  He often feels defeated because he gets depressed.  He feels purposeless because he feels so much pain, and feeble because he fears.  But he keeps moving, day after day, one foot in front of the other, in spite of all he struggles with.  I gave him an extra long hug this morning, cradled his face in my hands, looked him in the eyes and said, "You are brave... so much braver than you know! You have more courage than you realize because you haven't quit.  You are stronger than you think you are. You're going to make it... you are making it!" He looked at me disbelievingly and my heart broke.  But I believe there is no such thing as wasted words, wasted service, or wasted effort, if those things are done in the spirit of genuine and sincere love.

I know that these things are not easy... but it is so very worth it. The truth is, I blog probably more for myself than for anyone...  (I imagine that very few people, if any, even see the things I post here.)  But if someone does stumble across this place, I pray these words I write to bring the much-needed healing and hope to my own soul will also somehow, somewhere, strengthen a brother or sister along their journey as well.

So... When the strife is fierce....Keep on charging ahead!!

And now with that... here is my song of healing and hope for today:

"To The Dreamers" 

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujrcvpw9Zcc

We're beat up but won’t be broken

Lonesome but always searching

Homesick but nobody’s heading home soon

Keep on, keeping on, keeping on

Long days and too many short nights

And wrong ways that almost felt right

Lovesick but nobody’s holding you

Keep on, keeping on, keeping on

So sing along, sing along, sing along… Yeah

To the dreamers

Wide-eyed believers

Hanging onto hope by a thread

To the soulful

Heart open hopeful

Keep on charging ahead

‘Cause, when you feel it, once you see it, and you breathe it

It’s unforgettable

When you know it, once you know it, and you hold it

It’s unforgettable

God knows you question your courage

And some days I can’t walk for stumbling

If we could only see what we’re becoming

Keep on, keeping on, keeping on

So sing along, sing along, sing along… Yeah

When you feel it, once you see it

It’s unforgettable

When you know it, once you know it, and you hold it

It’s unforgettable

I was wondering and I was wandering

So down and out, I was lost not found

History said, oh someone said, that you could never exist

But then a whisper, the start of a kiss

Came to me in all of a sudden like a dream, a fantasy

That day didn’t feel quite real

You took a half dead soul and You made me believe

I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe

To the dreamers

Wide-eyed believers

Hanging onto hope by a thread

To the soulful

Heart open hopeful

Keep on charging ahead

They That Wait

"They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." - Isaiah 40:31

For the last few days this scripture continues to impress upon my mind.  I've been pondering what it means to "wait upon the Lord".  Perhaps the reason I've been thinking about this is related to the two funerals I've attended in the past week.

Waiting is woven into the fabric of our daily lives.  It helps us develop the glorious virtue of patience.  But it can be oh so painful... especially when that waiting means we will be separated for a time from someone we dearly love, either in death or in the necessary paths of living.  It's a truth, "The only way to take the sorrow out of death [or parting] is to take love out of life." -Russell M. Nelson -  Hearts sewn together with threads of the purest kind are bound to feel sorely torn at parting. This pain, however, is as needful as the prize.  For we would never know the sweet if we did not taste the bitter. "Time goes by so slowly and time can do so much." - Unchained Melody

"Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning." - Psalms 30:5
Those who wait are those who hope even despite all odds, They stay because they truly believe in what will come.

Yes, "time can do so much" for it is that channel all things must flow through in order to grow and progress. Time is the essence of mortal life but it is only to be passed through for we are not bound to it.  We are creatures of eternity.

Night must fall and trail our sky
Before the dawn of each new day.
The shadows of the eventide
Break and fade from morning ray.
A seed that's planted in the ground
Pushes through black of soil,
Through time, through love, and faith unbound,
Through sweat, and tears, and toil
Springing forth, grown to a tree,
Its branches touch the sun.
And time is now a memory
Within this story spun.
- Alicia Rawlins
 
Waiting upon the Lord means promising never to forget Him.  It means keeping Him always and forever in our hearts, always anticipating the day we will again see him face to face and feel His loving embrace.

Those who wait are those who keep hope alive, even despite all odds.  They stay the course, never drifting, because they truly believe in what will come.

"Test and trials are give to all of us.  These mortal challenges allow us and our Heavenly Father to see whether we will exercise our agency to follow His Son.  He already knows, and we have the opportunity to learn, that no matter how difficult our circumstances, 'all these things shall [be for our] experience, and... [our] good." 

Does this mean we will always understand our challenges?  Won't all of us, sometime, have reason to ask, 'O God, where art thou?' Yes!  When a spouse dies, a companion will wonder.  When financial hardship befalls a family, a father will ask.  When children wander from the path, a mother and father will cry out in sorrow." - Robert D. Hales

When I think of being carried as "on the wings of eagles", I think of the strong steady shoulders of my Father in Heaven.

This song "Shoulders" by, "For King and Country" is absolutely beautiful and gives me strength.  Its message is true and because I know this, I can humbly accept the Lord's will and timing in my life whatever it may be.

"Shoulders" - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40wYfjv6yt8

"When confusion's my companion
And despair holds me for ransom
I will feel no fear
I know that You are near
When I'm caught deep in the valley
With chaos for my company
I'll find my comfort here
‘Cause I know that You are near
My help comes from You
You're right here, pulling me through
You carry my weakness, my sickness, my brokenness all on Your shoulders
Your shoulders
You mend what once was shattered
And You turn my tears to laughter
Your forgiveness is my fortress
Oh Your mercy is relentless
My help is from You
Don't have to see it to believe it
My help is from you
Don't have to see it, ‘cause I know, ‘cause I know it's true"

"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." - Philippians 4:13

-Alicia

"She That Belieived"

This last Christmas, a friend of mine told me of a tradition she had started in her family to make the Holiday more focused and meaningful.  Each week leading up to Christmas, they would choose one character from their nativity and pull it to the forefront of their display.  The figure chosen would be who they would search and ponder about in the scriptures for that week.  What a wonderful tradition!

Christmas is past now but I have felt compelled to take some time to study about Mary, the mother of Jesus.  As I have done so, I have tried to place myself in her stead and imagine the story of how it all came to be.  How would she tell her story in her own words?  Mind you, I have again taken some liberties.  ;)  (Miriam is the Hebrew version of the name, Mary.  I love that because, Miriam is a very special name to me and my daughter's name is Miriam.  Maybe that's why I've taken such interest in Mary.) 

..........................................
Mary's Story
(Luke 1)

It's difficult for me to find the words to adequately explain the change that took place at that point in my life but I knew from the beginning something extraordinary was happening. I felt this Spirit within me, a beautiful Spirit full of life and pure light.  It grabbed hold of my heart so intensely! At times, It was as if I couldn't breathe for the feeling was so overwhelming. This continued for several days, morning and night.  As I went about doing my work, I felt the beating of my heart grow more powerful and stronger than I had ever experienced before.  It filled me with astonishment. So impressive was its pulse that I thought that my heart might pound right out of my chest.  It near consumed me with exhaustion.  I felt weak.

One night, I knelt in earnest prayer before the Lord and asked him to help me understand this impressive power that had taken hold of my soul. I was engaged to be married to a wonderful man, named Joseph.  I had great feelings for him - I understood those feelings and knew them very well.  But this new Spirit that had taken hold of my heart was distinctively different. It was familiar to what I felt for my sweet Joseph but it was greater, even magnified beyond anything I could begin to describe.  "Lord, what is happening to me?  Is this something I have imagined within myself?  Am I going completely crazy or is this real? What is this that I am feeling?" I plead for an answer.

An angel appeared before me.  He greeted me most warmly and told me that I was highly favored of the Lord and blessed among women. He told me not to be afraid for I had found favor with God.  This was so relieving to hear and I wept great tears of gratitude for there were moments that I felt as if perhaps I was wrong or that I had somehow betrayed my dear Joseph.

 The angel said that I was to bear a son and call Him Jesus.  He proclaimed, "He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest: and the Lord God shall give unto Him the throne of His father David:  And He shall reign over the house of Jacob forever; and of His kingdom there shall be no end."

"How can it be?" I asked him.  "I've never been with anyone. I have been faithful. How can this happen?"

The angel then told me that the Holy Ghost would come upon me, and the power of the Highest would overshadow me. He told me I would bear the Son of God.

 My mind was reeling! I couldn't believe what my ears were hearing. I expected to awake at any moment and find it was all a dream.  "Me?" I questioned.  "Why on earth would God ever choose me? Surely, there were other women far more qualified, far more righteous, and far more capable than myself...  how could anyone be capable of such a task but most especially me? There is no way!  I am among the weakest of the weak, what if I fail?" I wrestled with a multitude of insecurities.

Then, the angel announced that I was not the only one experiencing a mighty miracle, he said my dear cousin, who had been barren for years, would also be having a child.
I wept with excitement and wonder.  I pondered for a long time.  The angel perceived the fears that continued to disrupt my peace and testified boldly, "With God nothing shall be impossible."  Gratitude washed over me like a flood, for I knew the goodness of God, and I believed with all my heart that his words were true. I fell to my knees, and heaved a sigh of beautiful surrender, "Be it unto me according to thy word." And the angel was gone.

A few days later, I traveled to visit my dear cousin, Elizabeth.  Walking up the road, I caught sight of her from a distance. I called out as I ran hastily to meet her.  She turned to me and cried with elation, "Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb.  And how is it that the mother of my Savior has come to visit?!" She knew, without me saying a word, she knew!  We embraced and she told me of how her baby leaped inside of her the minute she heard my voice.  She kissed my face and tenderly cradled my head in her hands, "Blessed is she that believed," she said lovingly, "for all of the things that were promised you by the Lord will happen."

We talked late into the evening. We shared testimony of the greatness of God and bore witness of His mighty miracles and infinite mercy.

How humbled I feel that He would choose me as His handmaiden in my low estate.  Truly my spirit rejoices in God, my beloved Savior, and my soul will magnify Him all my days!

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-Alicia

The Place of "Becoming"

I've been pondering on what I said yesterday about the place between "once upon a time" and "happily ever after", the place of "becoming".

I mentioned the parable of the ten virgins, how five became the brides to the groom and five did not. In the New Testament, I discovered 32 references to the word "become" and in The Book of Mormon, I found 91.

These are just a few examples:

"become ripened"
"become men of understanding"
"become as little children"
"become his sons and daughters"
"become high priests"
"become bright"
"become a tree"
"become as God"
"become new"

The word "become" means "to change into, to grow to be, to transform or convert".  When something has been converted or transformed, it is changed forever! There is no returning to its formal state.  A seed that has been transformed into a tree will never go back into being a seed.  

In order for us to become the bride to the Bridegroom, He must win our heart.  He must become our everything. We must want nothing more than to have Him in our life.  He must be our focus and He must have our total attention.  He must occupy our thoughts day and night and everywhere we go. We will desire nothing more than to please Him.  All of this will come very naturally if He has truly won our heart, because that is what naturally happens when love is true!

When we truly love Him, we will unite our mind with His mind, our will with His will, our soul with His soul.  We will experience a very real at-one-ment.

Sometimes this "becoming" will feel like forever, so long in fact that it will be painful, very painful. These things take time though.  Everything that is worth living and dying for takes time.  Time: is the great revealer, the glorious unveiler.  

President Boyd K. Packer has testified, "Our lives are made up of thousands of everyday choices. Over the years these little choices will be bundled together and show clearly what we value."

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf said, "When Alma compared the word of God to a seed, he explained that the seed grows into a fruit-bearing tree gradually, as a result of our 'faith, and [our] diligence, and patience, and long-suffering.'  It’s true that some blessings come right away: soon after we plant the seed in our hearts, it begins to swell and sprout and grow, and by this we know that the seed is good. From the very moment we set foot upon the pathway of discipleship, seen and unseen blessings from God begin to attend us.

But we cannot receive the fulness of those blessings if we 'neglect the tree, and take no thought for its nourishment.'

Knowing that the seed is good is not enough. We must 'nourish it with great care, that it may get root.'  Only then can we partake of the fruit that is “sweet above all that is sweet, and … pure above all that is pure” and 'feast upon this fruit even until [we] are filled, that [we] hunger not, neither shall [we] thirst."

The "place of becoming" is a journey. Find joy in it, because there is a glorious destination that awaits!
-Alicia

In Between "Once Upon a Time" and "Happily Ever After"

The program for Young Women's in Excellence is in one week.  The girls have been practicing a song called, "Happily Ever After".  It's a beautiful song!

I must admit that I have a knee-jerk skepticism when I hear these story-book words.  I guess I sometimes worry that in the church, there may be youth who grow up thinking that if they find a returned missionary and get married in the Temple, that they've reached their destination and everything will be daisies and blue skies from there on out.  It's just not that simple.

I confess, as a young girl, I'd hear stories of handsome princes and princesses, white horses, knights in shining armor, and of course, happily ever after.  Dreamily, I'd imagine myself being that princess who gets swept off her feet and rides blissfully into the sunset with the man of her dreams... call me a hopeless romantic, but what young girl doesn't dream that?!  I have to laugh.  As I've grown older, so has my disbelief of such things, where does that ever happen in the real world?

But maybe I'm looking beyond the mark, maybe there is something I have forgotten in these stories, something more true to reality?  The place in between "once upon a time" and "happily ever after" -

"In each of these stories, Cinderella, Belle, and the miller’s daughter have to experience sadness and trial before they can reach their “happily ever after.” Think about it. Has there ever been a person who did not have to go through his or her own dark valley of temptation, trial, and sorrow?

Sandwiched between their “once upon a time” and “happily ever after,” they all had to experience great adversity. Why must all experience sadness and tragedy? Why could we not simply live in bliss and peace, each day filled with wonder, joy, and love?  The scriptures tell us there must be opposition in all things, for without it we could not discern the sweet from the bitter." - Dieter F. Uchtdorf

There's a bridge between the chorus of Jenny Phillip's song that says:
When the forests fills with darkness
And wolves seek your soul
Just know
You are simply in the place between
Your once upon a time and your triumph in the end

I wonder if she wrote this song based off of President Uchtdorf's talk?  I don't know.  But I'm glad she included this part.  There is an effectual struggle to be made before we reach our promised land.

With these two quotes in mind, I'd like to call this "place in between"  the place of becoming.  I find it fitting that Sunday's lesson for the YW is "Who am I and who can I become?" The question "who can I become" makes me think of the Parable of the 10 Virgins.  Five became a bride and five did not. Why?

Perhaps the five that were foolish were so busy obsessing over other things that they were too distracted to prepare for the groom. Or maybe they simply didn't care, or they were too caught up in selfish questions such as "What kind of man will he be for me?  I wonder what he will give me?  How will he love me? How will he fill my needs?"

Perhaps the five that were wise had a different focus, a vision that saw outside themselves, asking questions such as, "What kind of woman can I become for him? What can I do to serve him?  What will he need?  How will I love him?"

The difference in these questions are incredibly significant: the foolish are centered on those things they have no control over, they surrender their agency and leave themselves to be acted upon. They think that outside sources and others will be the ones to make them happy.  But it's just not so.

The wise instead are centered on those things that they can do, how they can love, they are agents unto themselves. They are not conditioned upon outside sources because their choice comes from within. They will prepare, serve, and love, regardless of response, regardless if it seems like forever.

Like the oil in their lamps, so is love.  Only pure and sincere love for the bridegroom will transform these women into the brides they are meant to be. Pure love, undefiled, must spring up from one's own heart, it cannot be bought or bargained, manipulated or stolen.  No one can force another person to love them the way they want to be loved.  Instead they must become the person they dream of.  Keep note, this "becoming"is not for the faint in heart.  It requires years and years of blood, sweat, and tears, so many tears.  But it's worth it!

Now, I shared earlier my skepticism of prince charming...  but I must tell you that I've discovered a real-life fairy tale in the scriptures.  Yes, this story really did happen! Though, I've taken some liberties (okay, a lot of liberties) in how it's worded but you'll recognize it.

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Once upon a time, long ago in a land far, far away.  There lived a woman who was very lonely even though she did not live alone.  She was not married to the man she lived with and had in fact been married five times before.  In every relationship she worked hard to make it meaningful, hoping that she would be acknowledged and appreciated, loved and admired.  She would think to herself that truly, all she needed to be happy was for someone to tell her she was beautiful and worthy, accepted and adored.  But time after time her dreams were shattered as harsh reality settled in.  In all her rejection, she began to feel empty and insecure and even a little bitter at the hand she had been dealt. "I thought being married would make me happy, but it hasn't, where did I go wrong and what could possibly fill my loneliness?" she questioned herself.

One day the woman's thirst for acceptance ailed her so fiercely that she traveled to a place where everyone else in the village went to drink.  She was startled to find a stranger there, a man she had never met before. He seemed to be waiting for her.  As she approached him, she was shocked at his greeting for she perceived him as one who would never speak to her type.  She wondered what he was doing there for he had brought nothing to draw water out with.  Clearly his intention for being in that place was different than her own.  She was surprised how well he seemed to know her... how did he know her?  His eyes were like fire and she felt as if he could see deep into her heart... a heart that had grown cold and full of sorrow.  She glanced down at the ground in shame, then was quickly drawn to his gaze again.  There, he looked at her. The warmth from his eyes began to penetrate her soul and her lifeless heart began to beat again.  His voice was soothing, like rain pouring from the clouds onto parched desert ground.  Who was this man and why hadn't she discovered him before?  His countenance was kind and his presence seemed to overwhelm her with a feeling that she could not describe.  She sat by his side and listened to him speak. She found herself absorbing every word out of his mouth. Something was changing inside of her, she felt different, like a new person. She noticed that her thirst for the water at the well had left her, she had no more desire for it.  No longer did she care if she was beautiful or adored, accepted or acknowledged.  None of that mattered.  Somehow, with him, she knew she already was. Here was her prince, the one she had been longing for!

Light filled her soul, like rays of sun through a window, and as she turned to return home she felt a spring in her step, gratitude for the simple things, purpose in her heart, and joy for the day. She began to look for and see the good in others.  No longer would she serve to be noticed or recognized, loved or adored, because she knew she already was!   Instead, her only desire was to bring everyone to the man who gave her new life, to the Savior, Jesus Christ. So, that is what she did for the rest of her days and she lived happily ever after.  John 4:5-26 - Isaiah 54:4-8, 10-13

-Alicia

What is destiny?

I must admit that every time I hear the word "destiny" I can't help but think of the line in Back to the Future where George Mcfly boldly declares to his love to Lorraine, "I am your density!"  (Of course, what George meant to say was that he was her destiny.)

What is destiny anyway?  In Latin it means dēstināre  or "de"=to remove from  & "stinare"=standing.  It is an indication of movement from one place to another.  To me, destiny sounds like the word "destination" and I think its very fitting.  It is the place that we will eventually come to.  It is something that is yet to happen.

I've been memorizing The Family: A Proclamation to the World. I noticed the word "destiny" shows up in each of the first three paragraphs.

In the context of the Gospel, God has a destination for each of us; a beautiful, loving, and glorious plan!  But he gives us our agency to choose.  He will not force us on the path.

As we exercise faith and go to Him through daily prayer, daily scripture study, and seek to know Him and the destination he has for us, He will reveal to us the right roads to take in miraculous ways and our glorious destiny will unfold!!  Alma 37:39-47

-Alicia :)