I have 23 unfinished posts just sitting on my draft board. So many thoughts and yet I struggle sometimes to organize them comprehensively. I'm running out of time to write as I get back into the saddle of school again. Since I started last Monday with my first homework assignment, it has been a race against the clock to fit it all in along with trying to make sure things are picked up around the house, meals are made, the kids get to appointments, I help them with school and play with them a bit. I just hope I'm giving my children enough of me especially when I feel spread so thin. I have very little sleep. I'm pretty tired but I'm not complaining... This is an exciting time in my life.
My little Micah turns 10 tomorrow (I guess today, It's past midnight here) and Miriam is already 12. Those two can entertain one another for hours with their ingenious creations and whimsical stories. I often think to myself if anything were to ever happen like a financial crisis and we lost everything we owned, those kids would be perfectly happy entertaining one another with sticks, rocks, dirt, and a little water for some mud. Miriam has always loved to play in mud. I hope they never lose that sense of contentment, it will serve them well throughout their life.
It's amazing how fast they are growing up. I watch the home movies of my children when they were babies and I miss their tiny voices and disconnected sentences. I miss falling asleep with their warm little infant bodies snuggled on my chest, the weight of them pressing into me and filling all the voids within my heart.
I suppose I'm still a new mom. More experienced mothers would say to me, "Oh just you wait. You think time has gone by fast now, it goes even faster." I don't doubt it, I believe them. Days are hours, weeks are days, months are weeks, and years are months. It's strange. Our time on this earth really is so short.
I wonder if we will watch old home movies of our lives here when we are in heaven? I think I'd like that. I wonder if I'd play back all the scenes that made me laugh until my stomach hurt. Which events would be my favorite? What would I see as most important and would it be what I value now? Would I fast-forward through the hardest parts or would I slow them down to see how they were the very tools that were carving and shaping the beautiful?
Life is interesting. I'm so thankful for it. I feel so blessed. I have a good life, a very good life, far greater than I could ever deserve. Sometimes, I feel like shouting "hallelujah" for all I have! And even when this life is over, it's only the beginning.
Well, it's late. I should get some sleep.... an imperative I often forget I need. But before I do... I might just plug in my head phones and listen to one of my old-time favorites before I rest my head.
We've only just begun to live
White lace and promises
A kiss for luck and we're on our way
(We've only begun)
Before the risin' sun, we fly
So many roads to choose
We'll start out walkin' and learn to run
And yes, we've just begun
Sharing horizons that are new to us
Watching the signs along the way
Talkin' it over, just the two of us
Workin' together day to day
Together
And when the evening comes, we smile
So much of life ahead
We'll find a place where there's room to grow
And yes, we've just begun
Sharing horizons that are new to us
Watching the signs along the way
Talkin' it over, just the two of us
Workin' together day to day
Together
Together
And when the evening comes, we smile
So much of life ahead
We'll find a place where there's room to grow
And yes, we've just begun
- The Carpenters
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