Don't Give Up

I don't understand what it is like to be emotionally numb on a regular basis, to go day after day forcing a smile when it seems as if you have absolutely no feeling inside except for the feeling of hopelessness.  I'm grateful I don't suffer from chronic depression but my heart breaks for those who do.  I'm slowly learning that fixing it in others is truly beyond my reach.  Even still, I can continue to love with all that I have and hope it is making a difference in some small way!

This song goes out to my very close and very dear friend whose suffering I cannot comprehend.  I know the Savior comprehends all things though. Please don't give up.  Just one foot in front of the other... You are so much better and so much more than you think you are!

-Alicia

"You Are Loved"

by, Josh Groban

Don't give up

It's just the weight of the world

When your heart's heavy

I will lift it for you

Don't give up

Because you want to be heard

If silence keeps you

I will break it for you

Everybody wants to be understood

Well I can hear you

Everybody wants to be loved

Don't give up

Because you are loved

Don't give up

It's just the hurt that you hide

When you're lost inside

I will be there to find you

Don't give up

Because you want to burn bright

If darkness blinds you

I will shine to guide you

Everybody wants to be understood

Well I can hear you

Everybody wants to be loved

Don't give up

Because you are loved

You are loved

Don't give up

It's just the weight of the world

Don't give up

Every one needs to be heard

You are loved

To the Pure in Heart

"Behold, I... would speak unto you that are pure in heart.  Look unto God with firmness of mind, and pray unto Him with exceeding faith, and He will console you in your afflictions, and He will plead your cause... O all ye that are pure in heart, lift up your heads and receive the pleasing word of God, and feast upon His love; for ye may, if your minds are firm, forever." - Jacob 3:1-2

I read this scripture this morning and just felt like sharing it.  I especially love this part: "Receive the pleasing word of God, and feast upon His love."

Oh, and a nice touch to this would be to read it with a little music.  :)
That's the way I like it.

-Alicia

Take two and call me in the morning.

Several weeks ago, a friend of mine confided in me about some heavy burdens she was carrying.  Wearied and weighed down, she opened her heavy heart to me.  I listened to her sincerely and then told her about a couple of Elder Jeffrey R. Holland's talks that had been a great strength to me during my own times of need. (1 & 2)  I encouraged her to listen to both of them and jokingly said, "Take two and call me in the morning."

Though my physician reference was just for play, I was serious about the instruction.  She did listen to the talks and the next day called to thank me,
"Those were just what I needed!" she said with an audible relief in her tone.
I quickly responded, "Don't thank me.  I've been in the very same boat as you and all I did was share some of what got me through.  Thank our Father in Heaven that He has these 'glimpses of hope' provided for us during our burdensome journey."

...............

In that same spirit, I feel to share two verses and two songs for any other soul out there who might feel burdened or heavy-hearted:

Here are the two verses:

"I [the Lord] have heard [your] groaning... and I have remembered my covenant."

"Wherefore say unto [you], I am the Lord, and I will bring you out from under the burdens... and I will rid you out of [the] bondage, and I will redeem you with a stretched out arm..." - Exodus 6:6,7

Now here are the two songs...  Close your eyes and just listen.  I pray this brings a "glimpse of hope!"

PSALM 23

I testify that God is very aware of us and hears our every prayer.  "He is my strength and my song!"

He will carry us through every difficulty and lead us to green pastures.  I know this!

- Alicia :)

Please don't run away!

As young women leaders in my church we have felt impressed to speak to the girls about the law of chastity.  It's a delicate subject to address, mainly because of misunderstanding the "why" of the law and "what" to do if it is broken.

I think my biggest anxiety in lessons like these are for those youth who have been raised in the gospel, taught their whole life what to avoid, what to do and not to do, and who have at one time or another found themselves in a vulnerable situation and gave in.  How difficult must it be for them to hear the seriousness of breaking the law of chastity?  Do they feel like a lost cause, that there is no more hope for them?  Do they feel that they've ruined the story of their life?  Do such lessons make them want to hide, to disappear from spiritual things, from the presence of God, or from those who speak in His name?  I certainly hope not.  I hope and pray in those situations that those youth have had firm foundational teachings in Christ, His redemption, and power to make things right again, to make them completely whole, as if it NEVER happened.

When Adam partook of the forbidden fruit he was ashamed and hid himself.  He desperately tried to cover his own nakedness by retreating into the darkness where he "couldn't be seen" by others or himself.  He ran away from the light which so painfully reminded him of the choice he had made.  How many of God's precious children do the same?  I have witnessed this for myself among people I love very dearly.  When they mess up, they give up.  They feel they've lost their worth.  But it's not true, they are still worth more than gold.  If they could only see.  I want to run and call after them, "Please don't go, all is not lost, there is hope... please whatever you do, don't disappear!"

That's essentially what our Father in Heaven did for Adam and Eve.  He called after them, He forgave them, and provided clothing for them so they didn't have to be ashamed of their nakedness anymore, so they could come out freely into the light and out of hiding.  The atonement of Jesus Christ not only clothes our nakedness but prepares us for the finest clothing.  He wants to adorn us like a bride for her groom.  I feel such reverence for this sacred truth! He pleads for us to "come unto Him."

Christ is all about healing, He's all about hope... He is all about love.

I cherish the following scriptures:

"And it came to pass, when he was in a certain city, behold a man full of leprosy: who seeing Jesus fell on his face, and besought him, saying, Lord, if thou wilt, thou canst make me clean.
And he put forth his hand, and touched him, saying, I will: be thou clean. And immediately the leprosy departed from him." - Luke 5:12-13

"And my soul hungered; and I kneeled down before my Maker, and I cried unto him in mighty prayer and supplication for mine own soul; and all the day long did I cry unto him; yea, and when the night came I did still raise my voice high that it reached the heavens.
And there came a voice unto me, saying: Enos, thy sins are forgiven thee, and thou shalt be blessed.
And I, Enos, knew that God could not lie; wherefore, my guilt was swept away.
And I said: Lord, how is it done?" - Enos 1:4-7

"When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?
 She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more." - John 8:10-11

This is the character of Christ.  I don't comprehend how it is all done.  But I know that there is nothing I could ever say or do that He can't fix. I know there is nothing  that would end His love for me... which makes me adore and reverence Him even more. He has provided a way back, a way for healing, and for wholeness.

I pray for the youth.  I hope they understand this.  I hope they understand their great and infinite worth.  If they have messed up, I pray they won't hide.  And I hope the only running they do is in the direction of the Savior.

Because of Him, we can start brand new... this is the first day of the rest of our lives.  Do we believe it?  Do we believe it not just for ourselves but for all of our brothers and sisters?  I do.  With all my heart, I do.

-Alicia

The Greatest of These is Love

"It don't take money and it don't take fame

don't need no credit card to ride this train

Tougher than diamonds and stronger than steel

you won't feel nothin' till you feel

you feel the power, just the power of love

that's the power of love"

- Huey Lewis & The News

Well there you have it ladies and gentlemen, one of the most profound truths embedded within the movie score of a 1980's teenage-time-travel saga.  Who knew?  This song is definitely a hit in my book but I doubt Brother Lewis and his news crew intended to make any Bible references when they wrote it. So, I'll help them out with that.  ;) 

Amazingly enough, what most of the world describes as the "power of love" is just a drop in the ocean.  It hardly scratches the surface, especially when we are talking about God's love.  President Uctdorf said, "Think of the purest, most all-consuming love you can imagine. Now multiply that love by an infinite amount—that is the measure of God’s love for you."

Such love is hard for me to fathom because the "purest, most all-consuming" kind I have experienced in my life is already breathtaking and overwhelming. I am certain that I would not be able to stand in Christ's presence were I to see Him today.  I do not doubt that being near Him, I would lose all physical strength within me and I would fall at His feet, His beautiful feet.  Perhaps that is why the people in Lehi's dream "fell down" when they partook of the fruit of the Tree of Life.

Associated directly with this love is "joy" as the angel describes to Nephi, "Behold the Lamb of God, yea, even the Son of the Eternal Father! .. it is the love of God, which sheddeth itself abroad in the hearts of the children of men; wherefore, it is the most desirable above all things... Yea, and the most joyous to the soul." - 1 Nephi 11:22-23

When I think of joy, I think of the sun and the warmth of its rays on my face.  You know that feeling when you are out in the fresh open air, when the light of the morning breaks over the horizon... You cannot help but close your eyes and soak in every stream of warmth and radiance. There flows in you a sensation of new energy and that energy fills every part of your being.  It puts a spring in your step, an excitement for life, and you begin to feel that light of the sun bursting through you.  It's incredible!

We do not keep these glimpses of Heaven to ourselves.  They are meant to be shared.  When we come to understand "the power of God's love" so deep that it changes our heart, our very nature, there does not need to be any command to share it because it will happen so naturally.  We cannot restrain ourselves from doing this because it is in "the sharing" that the joy becomes magnified and infinitely limitless.  In return we feel a greater measure of His love and thus it propels us to grow "brighter and brighter until the perfect day."

Yes, "What the world needs now, is love, sweet love... it's the only thing that there's much too little of."  But Jackie DeShannon, I don't think there's "much too little" of it, I just think most people don't know where to find it.  And how do we help them find it?  We feast on the sweet Gospel of Jesus Christ.  Here pure love infuses joy, and pure joy creates light... enabling us to SHINE!  This is how we help others discover it... Shine so everyone can see what they so desperately need, shine so they can find the Tree for themselves and partake. There is plenty to go around.

In the entire world there is nothing that is greater. Yet one of the biggest lies ever told is that "you can buy anything in this world with money."  I refute that lie with this truth: Love "don't take money, it don't take fame, don't need no credit card to ride this train."  And Mr. Lewis...It's not that it "might just save your life", it IS LIFE and it's the ONLY way to save ours.  It has saved mine.

"Love.. ought to be at the center of all and everything we do in our own family, in our Church callings, and in our livelihood. Love is the healing balm that repairs rifts in personal and family relationships. It is the bond that unites families, communities, and nations. Love is the power that initiates friendship, tolerance, civility, and respect. It is the source that overcomes divisiveness and hate. Love is the fire that warms our lives with unparalleled joy and divine hope. Love should be our walk and our talk.

When we truly understand what it means to love as Jesus Christ loves us, the confusion clears and our priorities align. Our walk as disciples of Christ becomes more joyful. Our lives take on new meaning. Our relationship with our Heavenly Father becomes more profound. Obedience becomes a joy rather than a burden." - Dieter F. Uchtdorf "The Love of God"

-Alicia

Music Heals Me

I'm putting together a presentation that is taking me hours and hours to organize.  The combination of the heavy nature of the info I'm sorting through, back-to-back late nights, extremely early mornings, and overcoming the flu has left me exhausted!!

My heart needs music right now.  I can't explain it.  I just know that it reaches me in a deep and personal way.  If ever I feel down or lacking in strength, all I have to do is play a favorite song to focus my faith and I'm elevated.

-Alicia

Transitional Characters

Marco is a very bright young University student from Mexico. He was raised by a single mom and admitted the difficulties he has been through without a father in his life.  We sat by each other at a United Families International event last week.  The presenter spoke about fathers and how important they are in society as a whole.  As Marco heard the definition of a "transitional character",  he leaned over to me and said, "That's what I want to be."
I smiled and responded, "It looks like you are becoming one already."

"A transitional character is one who, in a single generation, changes the entire course of a linage.  The individuals who grow up in an abusive, emotionally destructive environment and who somehow find a way to metabolize the poison and refuse to pass it on to their children.  They break the mold.  They refute the observation that abused children become abusive parents, that the children of alcoholics become alcoholic adults... Their contribution to humanity is to filter the destructiveness out of their own linage so that the generations downstream will have a supportive foundation upon which to build productive lives." (Broderick, 1988, p. 14)

Now Marco is not a member of my faith and there are somethings I wish I could have told him more about to be a tool for him in his life as he desires to be this "transitional character", to be a good father and good husband someday.  But in my trip to the United Nations, we weren't supposed to proselyte, so all the more I wanted to say I couldn't.  I wished I could have given him a "For the Strength of Youth" pamphlet and directed him to the chapters, Entertainment & Media and Sexual Purity.  I sometimes wonder how often these things are taught in other religions.  It's so vital!  He will need to understand these things if he wants to be a good husband and father.

A few nights ago I drove a young 16-yr. old girl home from a youth activity.  We talked for nearly an hour as she described to me her broken life and how completely exhausting it is to be pulled and torn between the arguments of her separated parents and used like their pawn.  They haven't learned to communicate decently, let alone effectively.  Like 3-yr. olds they are constantly dragging her in as a third party to be the other's advocate.  Both parents are very toxic.  I encouraged her to be brave, that in the situations that do not involve her she must learn to repeat, "I'm sorry but this is not my issue, this is yours.  You need to work this out between each other.  I have to stay out of it."

Then I asked her a question, "Do you believe you can learn from your parents poor behavior."
"I can learn what NOT to do" she said.
"Very good! That's exactly right," I agreed.  "You can be a transitional character, a chain-breaker.  You can refuse to be a part of the statistics and say in your mind, 'all of this ends with me.  I'm not passing this down to my children!' Next time your parents fight and scream at each other, I want you to pay close attention to the kinds of words they use, the tone of voice, and those things that seem to escalate the arguments.  Write them down if you have to and tell yourself, 'I'm going to practice the exact opposite of these things.'  Refuse to be pulled into their childish bickering. It's not right and it's not fair to you."

I encouraged her to call me if she needed a friend to talk to, any time, day or night. Ultimately though, I testified that the most important Person to call upon is our Father in Heaven.  I testified to her of prayer and how it has gotten me through so many dark days.  My life growing up wasn't near as difficult as hers is but there were many times during my teenage years where I felt frustrated, heartbroken and completely alone. I wanted so desperately to feel security in my own home but instead everything felt raw and vulnerable, as if something could shatter at any given moment.  I learned to cry to my Father in Heaven, to pour out my soul to Him and lay out every piece and fragment of my heart.  He answered my prayers.  He showed me LOVE and in a miraculous way His love seemed to fill all the voids, the gaping wounds, the fractures, and holes in my soul.  I became a new person through Christ.  He changed me, He transitioned my character! He became my Father and I found in Him, I could do all things.  I told my young friend that she is not meant to carry this weight alone and encouraged her to make the choice daily to turn to her Eternal Father and she would have everything she could possibly need through life.

"Know then that every soul is free,
To choose his life and what he'll be"
- Hymn 240

- Alicia

As a "Keeper of the Hearth"

"I know of no better answer to [the] foul practices that confront our young people than the teachings of a mother, given in love with an unmistakable warning... No one can calculate the tremendous force for good that you can become. You are the keepers of the hearth. You are the managers of the home...I charge you to stand tall and be strong in defense of those great virtues which have been the backbone of our social progress." - President Gordon B. Hinckley

One of the biggest threats to the family is the devastatingly destructive drug of pornography.  If we as mothers are to be "the keepers of the hearth" we must educate our children about this pernicious evil.  Mothers and fathers must be vigilant in filtering the images and messages that come into their homes through music and media and help their children choose wisely.

"You live in a world of terrible temptations. Pornography, with its sleazy filth, sweeps over the earth like a horrible, engulfing tide. It is poison. Do not watch it or read it. It will destroy you if you do. It will take from you your self-respect. It will rob you of a sense of the beauties of life. It will tear you down and pull you into a slough of evil thoughts and possibly of evil actions. Stay away from it. Shun it as you would a foul disease, for it is just as deadly." -  President Gordon B. Hinckley

Each time a person chooses to view pornography, it eats away at their true identity and the true identity of others, especially those closest to them.

"Research has found that after men are exposed to pornography, they rate themselves as less in love with their partner than men who didn’t see any porn. On top of that, another study found that after being exposed to pornographic images, people were more critical of their partner’s appearance, sexual curiosity, sexual performance, and displays of affection"
 - See more at: http://fightthenewdrug.org/porn-kills-love-2/#sthash.PPxsfbtR.dpuf

It's interesting to me that in a society, where their is so much spouse and child abuse, we have these extremely well-funded agencies and organizations that insist on pushing what they call "sexual rights".  They go so far as to DEFEND the multi-billion dollar porn industry under this "right". These people have no interest in parental rights and  they refuse to defend or protect the traditional family, and in fact see it as a threat.  They insist the solution is in teaching "safe sex".  Imagine the difference these organizations could make if they focused on educating abstinence before marriage and fidelity after.

These things are extremely agonizing and difficult for me to think about.

I find strength and hope to see their ARE groups and organizations coming together in a coalition to make the truth be told.  I pray for the youth of this world, for the fathers and mothers.  I pray for a return to virtue, human dignity, and responsibility.
- Alicia

Our Youth, Our Hope

Untied Families International invited our group of women to team up with them in an event the first of its kind at a United Nations convention.  Amelia from UFI informed me over the phone, "Its going to be like one big Family Home Evening."  The time slot given to UFI by the UN just happened to be on a Monday night, how fitting. We had a few powerful musical numbers and a panel of speakers planned to share inspiring stories of their mothers and grandmothers, to inspire the spirit of Elijah.  We hoped the people would walk away with a greater desire to return home and not only strengthen their families but encourage everyone in their sphere of influence to do the same.
http://utahvalley360.com/2015/03/17/lds-women-defend-motherhood-standing-room-un-event/

Early morning prior to our "combined effort event, " we stood in line with a host of nationalities waiting for the UN gates to open so we could get our badges that would allow us entrance to the convention.
I said to my friend Jeanette, "If we want a ton of people to come tonight, now is the perfect time to invite them.  Everyone is just standing here."
"I'm with you Alicia, let's go," she said.

One by one we went about shaking hands, introducing ourselves and inviting them to our event.  Among the crowd, we met a long line of about 25 youth between the ages of 17 to 21.  From the moment my eyes met theirs and I opened my mouth to speak to them, there was a connection!  Their faces bright and their spirits radiating out so tangible, "I know these youth," I thought to myself.  In my heart I swore I had seen each of their faces before.  They listened to my invitation intently.  They were Catholic students from universities in Mexico and Ecuador (The two countries my sweet nephews are currently serving in as missionaries.) I explained that the intent our event was to awaken an awareness of the importance of faith and family. They smiled affirmatively as if I needn't say anymore.  Their mission was the same on almost every level.  It was miraculous.

I watched them attend various presentations put on by other groups, opposing groups.  These youth were not afraid to stand up and speak. I was in awe of their equanimity!  For the duration of the week we showed support by attending one another's events...  Each time meeting up, building many more great stories to be told.

It's interesting that this is the year the United Nations sets the agenda in place that will be in effect for the next 15 years.  Currently as the Post 2015 Agenda stands, there is no wording at all to protect the family.  We came here to change that and never before has the UN seen such a large presence of pro-family/ pro-faith groups.  We pray our voices will be heard.

How fitting that this group of mothers would convene with these valiant youth at "such a time as this!" It makes sense, mothers and youth - the two parts of society that are targeted and exploited more than any others are the very ones who are standing up, charging forward bold and brave at the front-lines of the battle.

I came here to the UN expecting to be weighed down with the force of opposition undermining our basic institution.  And believe me, the force is heavy and I have learned things that have forever changed my perspective, some of which are nightmares realized, horrific and frightening beyond description, things that the majority of society is completely ignorant to, things that are hard for me to explain.

But with these youth, I was lifted.  

Last night was the final time I would see them.  I embraced each one of these young men and women and thanked them for who they are, for their courage, for the light of Christ that is so evident in their eyes.  With tears of gratitude I thanked them for giving me the unexpected at this convention....

 HOPE!

 -Alicia

Just another ordinary miracle...

My niece called me last night and we talked for quite some time.  Her parents are divorced and she spends the weekdays with her dad and the weekends with my sister.  She's been taught by both of them that God is man-made, that people who believe in Him are delusional and hang on to false hope.  She's been weighed down with many questions and she feels as if she's in a whirlwind of opinions.  Her mind has been spinning and she's not sure what to believe.  I encouraged her to read Joseph Smith's History, and to read it several times.  I shared with her my deep love and appreciation for Joseph Smith, that he had questions like her, and that I have no doubt He was a true prophet.

We talked at length about God and His reality.  I explained to her that we don't have to understand or have all of the answers to every single detail to know very clearly that something is real.  I asked her if she could tell me about the processes each cell, synapse, blood vessel, nerve ending, and micro-organism in her body and what they were undergoing in order for her to have the ability to be talking to me at that moment.  She admitted that she couldn't and noted that even the most knowledgeable scientists couldn't with perfect understanding... yet our communication with each other was undeniable and very real.

My conversation with my niece was wonderful.  The Spirit was felt and we wept as testimonies were born.  She breathed a sigh of relief.  I was glad that she felt better and her faith had been renewed.

Just about two weeks ago I had a similar conversation with another young women as I sat at her bedside. She too has had a lot of questions about God and life in general. I suppose there are times in all of our lives where we may wonder about the reality of heaven or if God hears our prayers.  It can be especially draining to someone's faith when they have prayed for certain miracles to happen and those specific miracles never do end up happening.  They may begin to feel that God has abandoned them all together or that He doesn't really care.

I bore testimony to her too about the reality of God and how we don't have to have all the answers to know without a doubt that something is real.  I testified too that some miracles come in different ways than what we want but they are happening around us all the time.  I explained that too often we think of miracles as a "healing of something" that we lose sight of the ordinary everyday miracles taking place inside and outside of us all the time, how our heart beats, eyes see, lungs breathe and nerves feel without us even thinking about it.  We discussed a little about the scripture in Alma 30:44

This past Sunday, a gentleman spoke about the very same thing and said, "Often, when we think of miracles, we immediately picture the blind being healed so they can see or the deaf being healed so they can hear....but we don't think about all of the millions of people that could already see and hear in the first place.  Isn't that a miracle?!"  As he said that, I thought of my conversation at the bedside of this young woman a week before and I smiled.  I love it when thoughts, testimonies, and witnesses coincide like that!

A couple of days ago, I found this video and shared it with my friend.  She hasn't responded to it but I hope it serves as another witness of what I was trying to convey to her that afternoon.

God is real, I know it!  He is our loving Father in Heaven who hears and answers every prayer.  All things testify of Him.  My heart is full of gratitude for the every-day ordinary miracles!  Life is truly amazing, what an unspeakable joy I feel for the creations and testimonies I see of Him everyday!

-Alicia

"Miracles are a retelling in small letters of the very same story which is written across the whole world in letters too large for some of us to see." - C. S. Lewis

He Knows!

"Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart, 

All ye that hope in the Lord."

- Psalms 31:24

"He Knows"

All the bitter weary ways
Endless striving day by day
You barely have the strength to pray
In the valley low

And how hard your fight has been
How deep the pain within
Wounds that no one else has seen
Hurts too much to show

All the doubt you're standing in between
And all the weight that brings you to your knees

He knows
He knows
Every hurt and every sting
He has walked the suffering
He knows
He knows
Let your burdens come undone
Lift your eyes up to the one
Who knows
He knows
He knows

We may faint and we may sink
Feel the pain and near the brink
But the dark begins to shrink
When you find the one who knows

The chains of doubt that held you in between
one by one are starting to break free

Every time you feel forsaken
Every time that you feel alone
He is near to the brokenhearted
Every tear
He knows
He knows


"Cling to your faith. Hold on to your hope. 'Pray always, and be believing.' Indeed, as Paul wrote of Abraham, he 'against [all] hope believed in hope' and 'staggered not … through unbelief.' He was 'strong in faith' and was 'fully persuaded that, what [God] had promised, he was able … to perform.'

Even if you cannot always see that silver lining on your clouds, God can, 
For He is the very source of the light you seek. 
He does love you, and He knows your fears. He hears your prayers. 
He is your Heavenly Father, and surely He matches with His own the tears His children shed."

 - Elder Jeffrey R. Holland (An High Priest of Good Things to Come)