Don't Give Up

I don't understand what it is like to be emotionally numb on a regular basis, to go day after day forcing a smile when it seems as if you have absolutely no feeling inside except for the feeling of hopelessness.  I'm grateful I don't suffer from chronic depression but my heart breaks for those who do.  I'm slowly learning that fixing it in others is truly beyond my reach.  Even still, I can continue to love with all that I have and hope it is making a difference in some small way!

This song goes out to my very close and very dear friend whose suffering I cannot comprehend.  I know the Savior comprehends all things though. Please don't give up.  Just one foot in front of the other... You are so much better and so much more than you think you are!

-Alicia

"You Are Loved"

by, Josh Groban

Don't give up

It's just the weight of the world

When your heart's heavy

I will lift it for you

Don't give up

Because you want to be heard

If silence keeps you

I will break it for you

Everybody wants to be understood

Well I can hear you

Everybody wants to be loved

Don't give up

Because you are loved

Don't give up

It's just the hurt that you hide

When you're lost inside

I will be there to find you

Don't give up

Because you want to burn bright

If darkness blinds you

I will shine to guide you

Everybody wants to be understood

Well I can hear you

Everybody wants to be loved

Don't give up

Because you are loved

You are loved

Don't give up

It's just the weight of the world

Don't give up

Every one needs to be heard

You are loved

The Secret to Life

 "I wanted to tell you, that song 'Major Tom'... 

That song is about courage and going into the unknown. It's a cool song." 

- Cheryl Melhoff (The Secret Life of Walter Mitty)

Last night, we watched it again. This makes it the the third time we've watched this movie as family and I'm pretty sure it won't be our last.  Every once in a while a show comes along that strikes so many chords in me, I can almost hear my heart sing in tune. This is how I feel about Mitty.  I loved it the first time I saw it.  To me, everything about this movie is absolutely genius! It captures the magic of discovery; of dreams, of true beauty, of courage, of relationships, and of course... life.

Life's motto is powerful, it's all about vision, about perceiving with new eyes and a new heart.

“To see the world, things dangerous to come, 

to see behind walls, draw closer, to find each other, and feel 

- that is the purpose of life.” 

I love that!  It's the courage to step outside of our own little sphere and see the bigger picture, to explore the souls of others, to take a leap of faith, to seek understanding, and make lasting connections.  

One of my favorite scenes in this movie is when Walter is faced with the decision to jump on board of the departing helicopter. He has only a few seconds to make the pivotal move. His mind reflects on Cheryl, he can feel her faith in him like a surge of energy that puts his whole body into motion. Her mere influence instantly gives him courage to run for it and to grab hold of the opportunity that awaits him. Once aboard the helicopter, Walter knows that there is no turning back.

As the story unfolds we continue to see how Cheryl's influence sparks something within Walter Mitty.  Every thought of her ignites the embers of his hopes and dreams into a miraculous blazing reality. He starts to become who he has always wanted to become.  It's a side of him that has always been there but just locked away, lying dormant until awakened by purpose, by hope.  That's the power of love.

"Somewhere in your make-up (perhaps in the cells of your brain) there lies sleeping, the seed of achievement which, if aroused and put into action, would carry you to heights, such as you may never have hoped to attain." Once this "genius which lies asleep" is awakened by love, it will "drive you upward to whatever goal you may wish to achieve."  -Napoleon Hill

"Love is, without question, life's greatest experience.  It brings one into communion with Infinite Intelligence." - Napoleon Hill

Nothing could be more true!!  I believe this is why God is so powerful, because He is love personified.

"Friendship is a spiritual thing.  It is independent of matter, or space or time.  That which I love in my friend is not that which I see.  What influences me in my friend is not his body but his spirit.  He influences me about as much in his absence as in his presence."

- Henry Drummond

There's a quote I discovered  just over 20 years ago and I've never forgotten it. I believe it is a key that unlocks the heart in a way that is vibrant, full, and rich, brimming over with meaning... 

"Live to learn, learn to love, and you'll love to live." - Matthew Cowley

That is the secret to life!

- Alicia

"Stay Alive"

by, Jose Gonzalez

There's a rhythm in rush these days

Where the lights don't move and the colors don't fade

Leaves you empty with nothing but dreams

In a world gone shallow 

In a world gone lean

Sometimes there's things a man cannot know

Gears won't turn and the leaves won't grow

There's no place to run and no gasoline

Engine won't turn

And the train won't leave

Engines won't turn and the train won't leave

I will stay with you tonight

Hold you close 'til the morning light

In the morning watch a new day rise

We'll do whatever just to stay alive

We'll do whatever just to stay alive

Well the way I feel is the way I write

It isn't like the thoughts of the man who lies

There is a truth and it's on our side

Dawn is coming 

Open your eyes

Look into the sun as the new days rise

And I will wait for you tonight

You're here forever and you're by my side

I've been waiting all my life

To feel your heart as it's keeping time

We'll do whatever just to stay alive

Dawn is coming 

Open your eyes

Dawn is coming

Open your eyes

Dawn is coming

Open your eyes

Dawn is coming

Open your eyes

Look into the sun as the new days rise

There's a rhythm in rush these days

Where the lights don't move and the colors don't fade

Leaves you empty with nothing but dreams

In a world gone shallow

In a world gone lean

But there is a truth and it's on our side

Dawn is coming open your eyes

Look into the sun as a new days rise

What good are words... if we don't MOVE?!

Everyone has their opinion of what makes great music.  My favorite is the kind that not only gets me moving but points me in the right direction.  I absolutely love the feeling of discovering a new song to add to my list.  I really like this one not just because it makes me want to "bust-a-move" but because I can relate.

When I share my testimony, when I write, when I pray, when I give praise to another...  it will all be nothing more than words if I don't show it through what I do.  It is all in vain if it doesn't come from my heart.  It's so easy to "talk the talk."  But if I'm not practicing what I preach, "What good are words?"  I want to be the one who walks the walk!

It's time to move my feet, baby!

- Alicia

Make a Move

by, Royal Tailor

Mr., good intentions, 

So much I wanna do.

My mouth just keeps on running,

But I never follow through.

I heard that true religion, 

Is love with hands and feet.

I wanna find my own way, 

To reach a world in need.

I've been, captured by the unimportant.

Locked in, and now it's time to break free

There's more to life,

Open my eyes.

Someone is needing You.

So I gotta Make A Move.

What good are words,

When this world hurts.

Real faith will come through.

When I Make A Move.

We don't need permission,

To go outside of these doors.

And dream some crazy dream,

No one else has dreamed before.

To show love and compassion.

Where ever way it may be.

To put faith into action,

Do more than just believe.

We are, 

Hope to those who have been broken.

We were,

Made to make a difference, Made to make a difference.

There's more to life,

Open my eyes.

Someone is needing You.

So I gotta Make A Move.

What good are words,

When this world hurts.

Real faith will come through.

When I Make A Move.

"Ask in Faith" - Ensign, May 2008, 94-97 - David A. Bednar
"True faith is focused in and on the Lord Jesus Christ and always leads to righteous action. The Prophet Joseph Smith taught that “faith [is] the first principle in revealed religion, and the foundation of all righteousness” and that it is also “the principle of action in all intelligent beings” (Lectures on Faith [1985], 1). Action alone is not faith in the Savior, but acting in accordance with correct principles is a central component of faith. Thus, “faith without works is dead” (James 2:20).

The Prophet Joseph further explained that “faith is not only the principle of action, but of power also, in all intelligent beings, whether in heaven or on earth” (Lectures on Faith, 3). Thus, faith in Christ leads to righteous action, which increases our spiritual capacity and power. Understanding that faith is a principle of action and of power inspires us to exercise our moral agency in compliance with gospel truth, invites the redeeming and strengthening powers of the Savior’s Atonement into our lives, and enlarges the power within us whereby we are agents unto ourselves (see D&C 58:28)." - "Ask in Faith" - Ensign, May 2008, 94-97 - David A. Bednar

Learning CharACTer

When working through difficulties or particular challenges, how often have we heard the phrase, "This will be good for you, it builds character."

What is character?

It is the sum of the soul.  It is the qualities and attributes that make up one's personality, who they truly are. It is character that determines destiny, NOT appearances, prestige, popularity, or circumstance.  

How is character reveled within each of us?  Martin Luther King taught, "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."  

In Lectures on Faith, Joseph Smith described that one of the three things "necessary in order that any rational and intelligent being may exercise faith in [the Father and Son] unto life and salvation is a correct idea of [Their] character, perfections, and attributes:" (page 33)

How do we gain a correct idea of the character of Christ?  We observe and study His life and His teachings... but there's more to learning than just studying, it must also be by faith. - D&C 109:7

"Faith is a principle of action... Faith in Jesus Christ is the first principle of the gospel and is more than belief, since true faith always moves its possessor to some kind of physical and mental action."

 -Bible Dictionary 

There's an old saying that you never truly understand a person until you've walked a mile in their shoes.  In order to understand the character of Christ, we must "walk a mile" in His shoes, we must try to be like Him in whatever circumstances.  Learning to walk in the footsteps of the Savior doesn't happen overnight.  The Lord is patient with us just as a father is patient with his children when they attempt to take their first steps.  Every time they stumble, he encourages them to keep trying and his heart is overjoyed with every success.  It requires constant effort and God is proud of all who are sincerely and genuinely doing their best.   

Learning the character of Christ requires acting out what we learn.  And in order to "act" out what we have learned from our great Teacher, we must be given circumstances that test us and try us.  Because of this knowledge, I am grateful for the challenges that confront me.  Challenges are opportunities for me to exercise my agency, to practice in faith/action what I have learned by study.  

Learning the CharACTer of Christ comes from acting as He would act, from practicing over and over what He would do.   

I am genuinely grateful for a loving Father in Heaven who is incredibly patient with me.  He doesn't scorn me when I stumble but sees it as a "good fall" because he sees my heart, He sees I'm trying.  The faith He places in me stirs within my soul a greater love and admiration for His character, I have a greater desire to become as He is.  So I'll keep learning, keep practicing, keep trying, and through His amazing grace, I won't just walk, I'll run!

"Live your life to be a good example of what you believe—in word and deed. How we live our religion is far more important than what we may say about our religion.

Our Savior’s Second Coming is drawing nearer. Let us not delay in this great cause. Remember Captain Moroni, who hoisted the title of liberty inscribed with the words “In memory of our God, our religion, and freedom, and our peace, our wives, and our children.”  Let us remember the people’s response: exercising their agency, they “came running together” with a covenant to act.

My beloved brothers and sisters, don’t walk! Run! Run to receive the blessings of agency by following the Holy Ghost and exercising the freedoms God has given us to do His will." 

- Elder Robert D. Hales

(Also see - The transforming Power of Faith and Character by, Richard G. Scott)

One thing I really love about this video is it's not just a loving father who encourages but also loving brothers and sisters.  How thankful I am for my brothers and sisters in the Gospel who cheer and inspire me every step of the way. Oh how I love them!

-Alicia

By the Spirit of Revelation

(This talk never grows old to me.    Sometimes I doubt that which I felt was revelation... not because I doubt God.... but because I doubt myself.  I am aware of my weaknesses and it's easy to feel after receiving a very clear answer through fasting and prayer that it was all in my head.  I truly need this encouragement as I continue to seek revelation in my life.  These are the parts of Elder Holland's talk that encouraged me most today.)

.............

"I... believe that the adversary and his pinched, calculating little minions try to oppose [our revelation] experiences and then try to darken them after they happen. But that is not the way of the gospel. That is not the way of a Latter-day Saint who claims as the fundamental fact of the Restoration the spirit of revelation. Fighting through darkness and despair and pleading for the light is what opened this dispensation. It is what keeps it going, and it is what will keep you going. With Paul, I say to all of you:

“Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompence of reward.  For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise.” 

"With any major decision there are cautions and considerations to make, but once there has been illumination, beware the temptation to retreat from a good thing. If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now."

"Like Moses in that vision, there may come after the fact some competing doubts and confusion, but it will pale when you measure it against the real thing. Remember the real thing. Remember how urgently you have needed help in earlier times and you got it. The Red Sea will open to the honest seeker of revelation."

"Oliver Cowdery, who missed the opportunity of a lifetime because he didn’t seize it in the lifetime of the opportunity, the Lord said, “You did not continue as you commenced.” Does that sound familiar to those who have been illuminated and then knuckled under to second thoughts and returning doubts?"

"After you have gotten the message, after you have paid the price to feel His love and hear the word of the Lord, go forward."

"If God has told you something is right, if something is indeed true for you, He will provide the way for you to accomplish it."

-Jeffrey R. Holland

Cast Not Away Therefore Your Confidence

Marriage Family and Responsiblity

"Our individual responsibility is to learn what we should learn, to live as we know we should live, and to become what the Master would have us become." - Elder David A. Bednar

One of the articles in Elder Bednar's book, "Increase in Learning" is a copy from his talk "Marriage Is Essential to His Eternal Plan." This talk is based on the timely and inspired declaration, The Family: A Proclamation to the World.

"Today we are engaged in a war for the welfare of marriage and the home, in my latest reading of the Book of Mormon I paid particular attention to the ways the Nephites prepared for their battles against the Lamanites. I noted that the people of Nephi 'were aware of the intent of [their enemy], and therefore they did prepare to meet them' (Alma 2:12). As I read and studied, I learned that understanding the intent of an enemy is a key prerequisite to effective preparation. We likewise should consider the intent of our enemy in this latter-day war." - David A. Bednar

What perfect timing it is for me to be reading these articles as I am one week away from traveling with my friends to understand a little more fully "the intent of the enemy" and to help share this inspired Proclamation with the world.

It is interesting to me that as we have prepared for this trip, many of the women in our group have made mention of more struggles at home and in their marriage than ever before. Many have felt more tension and friction within the very unit they are seeking to defend.  I feel very fortunate and blessed that I have not had this issue in my own family but I do know that when the Lord calls us to do something, and we set out to do it, "the bells of hell begin to ring" (as Brigham Young would say.)  It is absolutely crucial therefore that in these moments we dig our heels deeper in our resolve of keeping our covenants, seek the Spirit of the Lord, and give all we've got to loving more fully.

When I was sixteen I was given a Patriarchal Blessing wherein I was blessed that marriage would be uppermost in my mind and in my heart.  I feel that this has truly been the case all of my life.  I believe in giving everything I possibly have and doing everything I possibly can to keep my marriage with my husband strong and healthy, come what may, through thick and thin!  This relationship is "central to our Father's plan", upon it hinges the lives of my children, their children and their children's children for generations to come.  This is not a small thing to fight for!

Yet we can see clearly there are few in the world who understand this and they give up at the slightest sign of trouble.  Families are falling apart left and right, especially the core structure of the relationship between husband and wife, father and mother.  The effect is exactly where the Adversary wants it;  a terrible malady, a horrific epidemic of people becoming "miserable, like unto himself".

"No one would wish a bad marriage on anyone. But where do we think 'good marriages' come from? They don’t spring full-blown from the head of Zeus any more than does a good education, or good home teaching, or a good symphony. Why should a marriage require fewer tears and less toil and shabbier commitment than your job or your clothes or your car?

Yet some of you will spend less time on the quality and substance and purpose of your marriage—the highest, holiest, culminating covenant you make in this world—than you will in maintaining your ’72 Datsun. And you will break the hearts of many innocent people, including perhaps your own, if that marriage is then dissolved." - Jeffrey R. Holland - However Long and Hard the Road

Elder Bruce D. Porter has stated:
"We live in a day when the love of many, even toward their own children, is waxing cold; a day when so many people love pleasures more than God; a day when good is called evil and evil good. Those who defend the traditional family, who stand for fidelity and chastity and all that once was considered wholesome and praiseworthy are mocked and ridiculed. On the other hand, those who see no problem with fatherless homes, who advocate abortion, who fight all attempts to limit pornography, and who seek to redefine the very essence of what a family is, are praised and upheld as champions of tolerance. Truly, the world has turned upside down."

All the more reason that people of faith do not stand idly by or faint by the wayside. It is imperative that we go forward with courage in this vital cause of protecting marriage and the family, in our own homes, our own personal lives, and in the world.  I testify that it is worth every single drop of our blood, sweat, and tears!

-Alicia

A Mountain Under My Feet

June 8th, 1996 - 

We hiked the summit of Timp to celebrate my high school graduation that took place a couple of days earlier.

As I stood on that summit and looked across the valley, I was absolutely breath-taken with the view and the incredible feeling of accomplishment of having an entire mountain under my feet!  I'd like to say that at that moment in my life,  I had confidence in my abilities to achieve other great things too. But the truth is, I didn't.  I never even bothered trying to get into BYU because I was certain that I wouldn't make it.  I ended up settling for the Community College and admittedly I enjoyed my schooling there.  I was heavily involved on the Institute Council and really liked my classes.  

After about a year, I discovered some good friends of mine were applying to be EFY counselors.  They encouraged me to do the same.  I loved the idea of having some sort of "BYU experience" in my life and thought, "If I can't get in as a student, maybe I could at least teach the youth and live on campus for a summer." I applied, but didn't make it in.  It was an un-achievable dream in my heart, "Who was I kidding anyway?"  My flame of hope had gone out...   But I believe somewhere deep within me, there must have still been an ember.  

Years later, when my husband Joseph got accepted to BYU's Science program in the spring of 2008, I think I was more excited than he was.  In fact, he was debating whether or not to accept a separate offer at the University of Utah.  I remember eagerly encouraging him, "Honey, you have to take this!!  It's BYU, how can there be any debate in your mind?!"

That June, we packed up our little family and moved to Provo for him to go to school. (I was a couple of weeks away from the due date of my forth child.)  Joseph spent many hours up on campus so I would often take the children with me to visit him in his research office.  So many times, as I walked up those stairs in the Science building, I would look out the large window across campus and think to myself, "some day, I want it to be my turn here."  He graduated in August of 2012 and I was happy to have had some sort of "BYU experience", even if it was vicariously through him.

 After his Bachelor of Science, I anticipated that we would move on somewhere for my husband to get his Masters or that he would find a job in Texas or Florida working with their space programs or something like that.  When nothing progressed in that direction and he showed no interest to go any further in school, I thought, "Well then, I'll go!" 

A series of events unfolded and in the spring of 2013 I knew that I needed to make the attempt for BYU.  It would be another year though until I finally applied.  I was denied and was completely heartbroken.   The next few days I gathered myself together and immediately applied again.  

This time... I GOT IN!!! 

I cannot even begin to express the excitement I feel.  I reflect back on the day I celebrated my high school graduation on the summit of that mountain. Last fall, I was thrilled to hike Timp again.  I felt as if it was a symbol of the beginning of my new journey. Only this time, I had confidence.

Now with BYU finally a reality in my own life, the feelings I have in my heart today are much the same as I've had atop that summit:

Here I am, standing on the edge of my dreams looking out and realizing they are coming true.  Twelve-thousand feet high, the view from up here is exhilarating!!!  I breathe in deep, close my eyes, and savor the rays of sun on my face. My arms stretch open as wide as the blue sky before me.  I feel like I could embrace the whole world. My heart beats wildly with elated anticipation. I smile. God is good, so very, very good!  I breathe in deep again.  The fresh mountain air seems to electrify every part of my body. I'm full of hope, full of faith, ... 

I know God is guiding me...  

And now....  

I'm stepping off this ledge with both feet....  

Watch... 

me... 

2014

2015 Timp

My "Super-star" signature once again on this summit.

FLY!!!  

I found my star from last year!  It wasn't painted over, yay!
"2014 The year my dreams came true!"

-Alicia  :)

12 Things I Believe

Twelve Things I Believe

I believe in FIGHTING...

With everything I've got to keep my family together.

I believe in HATING...

The sin and not the sinner.

I believe in GIVING UP...

Trying to predict the future, and instead,

Embrace every moment I'm given here and now.

I believe in DYING...

That I might live through Christ.

I believe in FEAR...

Of God and God alone -

For fear of man only breeds cowardice, jealousy, and greed.

I believe in QUITTING...

Any habits that erode my agency & sense of self-worth,

Or anyone else's for that matter.

I believe in SURRENDERING...

My will to God's will, He sees the bigger picture.

I believe TRAGEDY...

Can lead to triumph.

I believe HEARTBREAK...

Can lead to healing.

I believe DARKNESS...

Has no power over light.

I believe in MY PAIN...

I can learn empathy and compassion for others.

I believe I AM NOTHING...

On my own and in my own strength, I am weak,

But through Christ, I can do all things.

-Alicia Rawlins

"I Have Confidence"

 One of the most beloved and classic movies from Rodgers and Hammerstein is "The Sound of Music."  It was certainly a classic for me when I was growing up.  I remember my mom would always change the name from "Maria" to my name as she would sing "How do you solve a problem like Alicia?"  It never bothered me, I knew she meant it in an endearing way.  I didn't know what a "flibbertigibbet" was but it I liked the sound of it.   Besides, Maria had become one of my heroes, I loved everything about her; her zeal for life, her sense of adventure, her style, her thrift, her creativity, her clumsiness, her bravery, her willingness to face her fears, her genuine love, her approachable nature, and most of all her faith in and love of God.

The soundtrack to this movie was one of my great treasures I took with me when I moved away from home.  I remember many times driving to college, blaring its music and matching every note with my own voice in equal volume.  It's hard to choose which song was my favorite on that soundtrack.  But, I remember one particular day playing "I Have Confidence" on repeat until I had every last word completely memorized.  The details of that day are gone to me, but I remember feeling very low in my own confidence and somehow singing along to this piece gave me courage.

I love how the scene to this song opens:  Maria is ready for what lies ahead in her future, no matter how monumental and insurmountable the task may seem.  She's climbed many mountains before and this one would be the greatest test of her character she would ever have.  Before setting out on her journey, she takes a deep breath and says reassuringly to herself, "When the Lord closes a door, somewhere He opens a window." Venturing out slowly at first, she addresses her fears, but then brings herself back around...

"Oh, I must stop these doubts, all these worries
If I don't I just know I'll turn back
I must dream of the things I am seeking
I am seeking the courage I lack

The courage to serve them with reliance
Face my mistakes without defiance
Show them I'm worthy
And while I show them 
I'll show me

So, let them bring on all their problems
I'll do better than my best
I have confidence they'll put me to the test
But I'll make them see I have confidence in me"

With every step she grows more vibrant and excited for the challenge that awaits her. Confident in her God and trusting that confidence in herself will soon come, she dances her way into the next scene with wild animation and climactic wholeheartedness.

Then, it hits her.  She reaches the gate of the VonTrapp family home, stops dead in her tracks and is breath-taken.  As she comes to realize exactly what lies ahead, she humbly says my favorite part in the entire song, "Oh help." It was a small and simple prayer yet deep and sincere. Then with sweet assurance she was doing the Lord's will, she walks through that gate with more confidence than ever and all she trusts she puts her heart to.  With Maria's child-like faith, sincerity of heart, and devotion to God, she ends up playing a pivotal role in rescuing an entire family from complete and utter ruin.

The mountains I face this year are larger in scale than I have ever ventured before.  But like Maria, I go forward in my own journey no matter how frightening the climb might be.  I can do this, with God, I know I can. Whatever His will is..."I have confidence!"  It is that same confidence in God that Moses had to lead the children of Israel out of bondage, the same confidence that Nephi had to build a ship and against all odds and set sail to an unknown land.  Like so many in the scriptures, they too had fears, they had doubts in their capabilities, and plenty of insecurities.  Like Ammon I confess, "I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in His strength I can do all things." - Alma 26: 11,12  I trust this with all of my heart.  He has never failed me. He is faithful, true, and good, oh so good.

-Alicia

When the strife is fierce...

There is something Divinely spiritual about singing with a choir.  I love the sensation of harmonizing with a host of others, especially in songs of reflection and praise for our God.  I notably enjoy the moments when the accompaniment ceases and the choir resounds with voice alone.  It strikes a chord within me that testifies of the Divine living inside of us. Yesterday, our church choir performed the hymn "For All The Saints".  The fourth verse we sang a-capella. This verse grabbed a hold of me and was so meaningful, maybe in part, because I love a-capella but I think it was also due to my recent studies on suffering and the beauty that can come of it.

Today, that particular verse continues to play in my mind.

"And when the strife is fierce, the warfare long,
Steals on the ear the distant triumph song,
And hearts are brave again, and arms are strong."

 Sometimes, it may be extremely difficult to imagine glory and beauty born of strife and suffering. I reflect on the scripture in  D&C 19:15- 19 that speaks of the suffering our Savior bore to atone for us. Look at what came of that, was there nothing more beautiful and glorious?!

Of course, some suffering is needless, some we bring upon ourselves from ignoring God's counsel, but I am speaking of the sorrows and suffering that come despite our efforts and faithfulness. There may be those in our life who struggle with infirmities (of mind or body), who we have plead and poured our hearts out for heaven to heal them. And when that healing doesn't come, we may be tempted to believe that God has abandoned us or that He doesn't care.  But I testify, He does care, infinitely and personally! He does hear our cries! And if you listen, you will hear "the distant triumph song, and hearts are brave again and arms are strong."  

That word, "brave," what does it mean?

 Being brave certainly doesn't mean that you are not afraid, that you don't suffer, or that you don't feel pain.  It means you keep moving, keep trying, keep believing, keep loving, and shining, in spite of all your fears, your doubts, and your pain, however long and hard the road may be.  Yes, it means staying the course in full understanding that this struggle could very well be for the rest of your life.

I have someone who I love very much, who doesn't believe in himself, who would never consider himself as "brave."  He often feels defeated because he gets depressed.  He feels purposeless because he feels so much pain, and feeble because he fears.  But he keeps moving, day after day, one foot in front of the other, in spite of all he struggles with.  I gave him an extra long hug this morning, cradled his face in my hands, looked him in the eyes and said, "You are brave... so much braver than you know! You have more courage than you realize because you haven't quit.  You are stronger than you think you are. You're going to make it... you are making it!" He looked at me disbelievingly and my heart broke.  But I believe there is no such thing as wasted words, wasted service, or wasted effort, if those things are done in the spirit of genuine and sincere love.

I know that these things are not easy... but it is so very worth it. The truth is, I blog probably more for myself than for anyone...  (I imagine that very few people, if any, even see the things I post here.)  But if someone does stumble across this place, I pray these words I write to bring the much-needed healing and hope to my own soul will also somehow, somewhere, strengthen a brother or sister along their journey as well.

So... When the strife is fierce....Keep on charging ahead!!

And now with that... here is my song of healing and hope for today:

"To The Dreamers" 

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujrcvpw9Zcc

We're beat up but won’t be broken

Lonesome but always searching

Homesick but nobody’s heading home soon

Keep on, keeping on, keeping on

Long days and too many short nights

And wrong ways that almost felt right

Lovesick but nobody’s holding you

Keep on, keeping on, keeping on

So sing along, sing along, sing along… Yeah

To the dreamers

Wide-eyed believers

Hanging onto hope by a thread

To the soulful

Heart open hopeful

Keep on charging ahead

‘Cause, when you feel it, once you see it, and you breathe it

It’s unforgettable

When you know it, once you know it, and you hold it

It’s unforgettable

God knows you question your courage

And some days I can’t walk for stumbling

If we could only see what we’re becoming

Keep on, keeping on, keeping on

So sing along, sing along, sing along… Yeah

When you feel it, once you see it

It’s unforgettable

When you know it, once you know it, and you hold it

It’s unforgettable

I was wondering and I was wandering

So down and out, I was lost not found

History said, oh someone said, that you could never exist

But then a whisper, the start of a kiss

Came to me in all of a sudden like a dream, a fantasy

That day didn’t feel quite real

You took a half dead soul and You made me believe

I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe

To the dreamers

Wide-eyed believers

Hanging onto hope by a thread

To the soulful

Heart open hopeful

Keep on charging ahead

He Knows!

"Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart, 

All ye that hope in the Lord."

- Psalms 31:24

"He Knows"

All the bitter weary ways
Endless striving day by day
You barely have the strength to pray
In the valley low

And how hard your fight has been
How deep the pain within
Wounds that no one else has seen
Hurts too much to show

All the doubt you're standing in between
And all the weight that brings you to your knees

He knows
He knows
Every hurt and every sting
He has walked the suffering
He knows
He knows
Let your burdens come undone
Lift your eyes up to the one
Who knows
He knows
He knows

We may faint and we may sink
Feel the pain and near the brink
But the dark begins to shrink
When you find the one who knows

The chains of doubt that held you in between
one by one are starting to break free

Every time you feel forsaken
Every time that you feel alone
He is near to the brokenhearted
Every tear
He knows
He knows


"Cling to your faith. Hold on to your hope. 'Pray always, and be believing.' Indeed, as Paul wrote of Abraham, he 'against [all] hope believed in hope' and 'staggered not … through unbelief.' He was 'strong in faith' and was 'fully persuaded that, what [God] had promised, he was able … to perform.'

Even if you cannot always see that silver lining on your clouds, God can, 
For He is the very source of the light you seek. 
He does love you, and He knows your fears. He hears your prayers. 
He is your Heavenly Father, and surely He matches with His own the tears His children shed."

 - Elder Jeffrey R. Holland (An High Priest of Good Things to Come)