"Unarmed"

In my studies this morning, I read Mosiah 20:26 where it says, "And when the Lamanites saw the people of Limhi, that they were without arms [or unarmed], they had compassion on them and were pacified towards them." I thought of this scripture in the Bible "A soft answer turneth away wrath; but greivous words stir up anger."- Proverbs 15:1

I have to ask myself, "How am I doing with my communication in my family?"  What does it look and sound like to be the kind of person whose knee-jerk reaction is to speak "unarmed"?

As I ask myself this question, I think, "Well, there are just those 'certain people' who are more difficult to communicate with than others.  They are the ones who to me seem to always be 'armed' at everyone else, as if no matter what anyone says or does they are loaded with criticism, ready to shoot insults, scathing remarks, or personal jabs."  How the heck am I supposed to communicate with those people "unarmed"?  How do I "end the conflict" and end it now?  I can't make them lay down their "weapons of war" but I can surrender mine.  Oh man, but this kind of humility for me is SO much easier said than done.

I think of Elder Wirthlin's talk from a few years ago.  It's one of my favorites:

"Each one of us will travel a different road during this life. Each progresses at a different rate. Temptations that trouble your brother may not challenge you at all. Strengths that you possess may seem impossible to another. Never look down on those who are less perfect than you.

We are all children of our Heavenly Father. And we are here with the same purpose: to learn to love Him with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and to love our neighbor as ourselves.

When we are filled with kindness, we are not judgmental. The Savior taught, "Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven."  He also taught that "with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again." 

"But," you ask, "what if people are rude?"

Love them.

"If they are obnoxious?"

Love them.

"But what if they offend? Surely I must do something then?"

Love them.

"Wayward?"

The answer is the same. Be kind. Love them.

Why? In the scriptures Jude taught, "And of some have compassion, making a difference." 

Who can tell what far-reaching impact we can have if we are only kind?

My brothers and sisters, the gospel of Jesus Christ transcends mortality. Our work here is but a shadow of greater and unimaginable things to come...

...As our Heavenly Father loves us, we also should love His children.

May we be models of kindness. May we ever live up to the words of the Savior: "By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another." Of these truths I bear witness in the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen." 

- By Joseph B. Wirthlin, given April 2005

 I have so much to learn.  I'm grateful for another day to practice this kind of communication, this type of love, this kindness.  One of these days I'll get it down to an art.... practice, practice, practice!  I'm so thankful for a loving and patient Father in Heaven who gives me new opportunities to learn to be and do a little better than the day before.

-Alicia