"I Have Confidence"

 One of the most beloved and classic movies from Rodgers and Hammerstein is "The Sound of Music."  It was certainly a classic for me when I was growing up.  I remember my mom would always change the name from "Maria" to my name as she would sing "How do you solve a problem like Alicia?"  It never bothered me, I knew she meant it in an endearing way.  I didn't know what a "flibbertigibbet" was but it I liked the sound of it.   Besides, Maria had become one of my heroes, I loved everything about her; her zeal for life, her sense of adventure, her style, her thrift, her creativity, her clumsiness, her bravery, her willingness to face her fears, her genuine love, her approachable nature, and most of all her faith in and love of God.

The soundtrack to this movie was one of my great treasures I took with me when I moved away from home.  I remember many times driving to college, blaring its music and matching every note with my own voice in equal volume.  It's hard to choose which song was my favorite on that soundtrack.  But, I remember one particular day playing "I Have Confidence" on repeat until I had every last word completely memorized.  The details of that day are gone to me, but I remember feeling very low in my own confidence and somehow singing along to this piece gave me courage.

I love how the scene to this song opens:  Maria is ready for what lies ahead in her future, no matter how monumental and insurmountable the task may seem.  She's climbed many mountains before and this one would be the greatest test of her character she would ever have.  Before setting out on her journey, she takes a deep breath and says reassuringly to herself, "When the Lord closes a door, somewhere He opens a window." Venturing out slowly at first, she addresses her fears, but then brings herself back around...

"Oh, I must stop these doubts, all these worries
If I don't I just know I'll turn back
I must dream of the things I am seeking
I am seeking the courage I lack

The courage to serve them with reliance
Face my mistakes without defiance
Show them I'm worthy
And while I show them 
I'll show me

So, let them bring on all their problems
I'll do better than my best
I have confidence they'll put me to the test
But I'll make them see I have confidence in me"

With every step she grows more vibrant and excited for the challenge that awaits her. Confident in her God and trusting that confidence in herself will soon come, she dances her way into the next scene with wild animation and climactic wholeheartedness.

Then, it hits her.  She reaches the gate of the VonTrapp family home, stops dead in her tracks and is breath-taken.  As she comes to realize exactly what lies ahead, she humbly says my favorite part in the entire song, "Oh help." It was a small and simple prayer yet deep and sincere. Then with sweet assurance she was doing the Lord's will, she walks through that gate with more confidence than ever and all she trusts she puts her heart to.  With Maria's child-like faith, sincerity of heart, and devotion to God, she ends up playing a pivotal role in rescuing an entire family from complete and utter ruin.

The mountains I face this year are larger in scale than I have ever ventured before.  But like Maria, I go forward in my own journey no matter how frightening the climb might be.  I can do this, with God, I know I can. Whatever His will is..."I have confidence!"  It is that same confidence in God that Moses had to lead the children of Israel out of bondage, the same confidence that Nephi had to build a ship and against all odds and set sail to an unknown land.  Like so many in the scriptures, they too had fears, they had doubts in their capabilities, and plenty of insecurities.  Like Ammon I confess, "I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in His strength I can do all things." - Alma 26: 11,12  I trust this with all of my heart.  He has never failed me. He is faithful, true, and good, oh so good.

-Alicia