Faith of My Mothers

In the fall of 1962 in Madison, Wisconsin, my mom was introduced to the Church by a friend of hers.  My mother immediately informed her mom about this new religion she had found and my grandma instantly wanted to know more.  My mom was baptized a couple of months later along with my grandma and grandpa.

My grandma was born in 1908 and passed away in 1996.

The memories I have of my grandma are not the most favorable.  Her house smelled like moth balls and onions.  All of her furniture was covered in cat hair because of the numerous strays she'd let in.  She was very short and wore floral patterned silk dresses that emphasized all the wrong curves on her body. She had thin pursed lips and always tied her hair up tight into a bun that perfectly matched her rigid disposition.  She was staunch and stubborn, an orthodoxed bible-thumper, and a blunt little nitpicker (which would explain why my grandpa absolutely refused to wear his hearing aids.)

My cousin, Julia, and I used to entertain each other with our impersonations of the crazy things grandma would say or do, acting out her quirky gestures and facial expressions, pretending to talk without teeth and toot every time we sat down.  We would roll on the floor laughing until we cried .  It was probably not very considerate to humor ourselves at her expense, but such was the "innocence" of our adolescence.

I regret that these were really the only memories I had to hold on to when she passed away.  I remember the closing hymn at her funeral was "Nearer My God to Thee."  As an 18 yr. old, and a little more contemplative about spiritual things, during that hymn  I felt a deep sense of gratitude that she always sought to draw nearer to God, She spent a great deal of her life searching for truth, had attended many different religions, and finally found the fullness of the Gospel that fall in '62.  I felt sorry that she was gone before I had taken the time to get to know my grandma more. 

It's funny because I felt like I knew my dad's mother much better than my mom's.  My dad's mom passed away from breast cancer long before I was born so I had no personal stories of my own interactions with her, no memories of her voice or her face, her gestures or her demeanor.  I guess the only way I became acquainted with her was listening to my dad always speak of his mom.  And yet here, my other grandmother who had been part of 18 yrs. of my life, was the one I didn't really know much about.  Perhaps if I had not let her prickly nature intimidate me, I could have peeled past her spiny shell and discovered something beautiful.

I'm not sure what compelled me to yesterday but in my family history class I felt impressed to see what memories and stories I could find about her.  I found 51 memories posted on Family Search.  I knew my aunt, Naomi, was into ancestry but didn't realize she had made so much available about my grandma. I decided that this would be how I'd spent my Sunday afternoon, reading and searching as much about grandma as I could.

I find it no coincidence that today is her birthday! (something I never knew until yesterday.) Perhaps she is the one who was compelling me to turn my heart to hers.

I discovered my grandma lived in Iowa, Minnesota, New York, Georgia, South Dakota, and Wisconsin.  When she was in her late teens, she served a Baptist mission with her parents in Barbados, West Indies.  She moved to Utah sometime in the 1970's I believe.

I found out that from the day of her wedding and every day thereafter, my grandpa never made an effort to kiss her. (It's a wonder they ever had children.)  I'm sure that grandpa's complete lack of affection was something that caused her an immense amount of pain.  Perhaps this accounts for some of her bitterness.

Living through The Great Depression, she was extremely poor and only had an 8th grade education.  Despite her lack of schooling, she loved writing stories of faith in God and especially loved poetry, so did her mother (both women after my own heart).  She was bold in her witness of The Book of Mormon, something that the rest of her family grew quite irritated with and partially distanced themselves from her because of it.  But to her dying breath, she would remain firm in her testimony of the truthfulness of that book.

On Family Search I found one of the poems she used to recite.  It's beautiful and I love how it applies to my life right now! This was an exciting discovery for me.

THE WINDS OF FATE

by Ella Wheeler Wilcox 

One ship drives east and another drives west

With the self-same winds that blow;

   'Tis the set of the sails

   And not the gales

That tells them the way to go.

Like the winds of the sea are the winds of fate

As we voyage along through life;

   'Tis the set of the soul

   That decides its goal

And not the calm or the strife.

Last night, I called my mom to ask her some questions about grandma.  I asked her about this poem and she confirmed that grandma was always saying, "it's the set of the soul that decides the goal".

I was surprised to learn that out of all the grandchildren, grandma really liked visiting with me because I listened to her.  I honestly don't remember that.  Even still, I like to believe that somehow she spoke to me yesterday and I listened.  I like to believe that it was her who gave me the impression to learn more about her.  It just makes today so much more special.  Happy Birthday, Grandma!

I found this picture of grandma on familysearch.org
Helen Naomi (Cushing) Thayer age: 7

-Alicia

School: Past and Present

Sunday evening, my parents came over for dinner.  There is rarely a time when my mom visits that she doesn't bring some old item from home to unload on us...er.. I mean "gift us" with.  I usually take it graciously, force a smile, and wait until after she leaves before I throw it away.  Bless her dear innocent heart, porcelain cats and old knitted pot holders just don't fill me with interest.

This last visit, she gave me a pile of all my report cards from Kindergarten to 12th grade.  I wasn't feeling too inclined to keep any of it but decided to look through them before I made my decision.  I forgot how poorly I did in school, especially in Jr. High and High School.  My grades were terrible, (except for Theater, Art, and Peer Tutoring special ed. students... I always got A's in those classes.)  Everything else though, the teachers all said the same thing, "Alicia would do so much better if she just focused more."  "Alicia is very cheerful but she talks too much and doesn't stay on task very well."  I guess I really was a flibbertigibbet! (By the way, that word is totally legit, I looked it up.)

Things changed for me the very end of my Jr. year.  That's when I read The Book of Mormon for the first time on my own. It was a huge pivotal experience for me. It made my last year of high school completely different.  I absolutely loved Seminary every year but my Senior year was the best because of my new habit of studying The Book of Mormon.  I decorated my bedroom with reminders of eternal truths and my room became a sacred place for me, my little sanctuary, my refuge from the troubles in my family and pressures at school.  Overall my grades improved... I could focus more and I stayed on task better.  I attribute it all to having a greater measure of the Spirit in my life.  I look back at the experiences that unfolded as a direct result of daily scripture study.  It was miraculous!

When it came time to graduate, my cumulative scores never would have landed me in a fine university and  I had to settle with the community college. While there, I served on the Institute Council and applied to be an EFY Counselor at BYU.  I thought, "maybe if I can't go to BYU as a student, I could at least have an experience working there with youth."  I didn't make it in.  I'm pretty certain it was because I still had a lot of growing up to do.  I think I was too awkward and immature... probably still too much of a fliberty thingy. (and that's not a word.)

Now, here it is 2015, and I'm trying to get in as a student at BYU.  I'm a little late in trying but hopefully I'm a little more ready now. I'm so anxious to know if I'll get accepted into their Communications Program.  This "waiting on the Lord" is killing me!  If I get denied again, I'm going to be so terribly sad (I'm not going to lie.)  But I'll do some homework, make some adjustments, and I'll apply again.  Because, even though I'm still a little awkward and immature, there is one thing I have learned through the years and that is... I don't quit!!  I am focused this time, my eyes are fixed on exactly what I want and I'll do whatever it takes to get there.

 

1995-96 Getting ready for school in my room / sanctuary.

-Alicia